Avengers Deadpool
by Darth Hel'eon
Summary: This Is Set Before Civil War. The New Avengers Have Recently Formed. Deadpool, Seeking To Better Himself, Asks To Join The Avengers - Only Wolverine Isn't Too Keen On The Idea! Contains Bloody Violence, Bad Language, Butchering Of English Language
1. Deadpool?

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 1

- Deadpool? -

A Bright Sunny Morning. Peter Parker walks past Deadpool, who, is eating pancakes whilst watching T.V. Deadpool raises his hand and says

" Goooooooood Morning! " Peter replies

" Hehrrh... " Peter goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk, pours himself a glass and starts to drink it.

Meanwhile Deadpool is laughing his head off at the T.V, slowly Peter wakes up and realizes Deadpool is watching T.V. Peter immediately charges into the living room

" WHAT THE-? Deadpool! What are you doing here? "

" Hey! pee pee " Deadpool raises a finger to his lips and continues

" sshhhhh people are sleeping "

" Pee pee? " Peter thinks to himself, he starts to whisper

" You do know Wolverine is here? " Deadpool nods

" Yep! " Peter looks bemused

" O-kay? Just checking. So? What are you doing here? " Deadpool looks at Peter and holds up a fork with a piece of pancake on it

" I'm eating pancakes! Duuuhh! " Deadpool looks over at Jarvis

" Jarvis my man, these are the MOST delicious pancakes EVER! " Jarvis bows

" Thank you sir " Deadpool double takes

" Sir? Jarvis, please - call me DP " Jarvis again bows

" Okay Sir! " Deadpool pulls out his gun and aims it at Jarvis

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING? " Shouts Peter

" Call me sir ONE more time, I dares ya! " Jarvis is scared and looks to Peter for help, Peter stands there with mouth open

" BANG! " Shouts Deadpool, Jarvis jumps

" Haaahhahahahahahaah! Oh man you shoulda seen the looks on your faces, bwhahahahahah! But seriously call me DP! Okay? " Jarvis nods, Peter checks on Jarvis while Deadpool continues to watch T.V. Jarvis whispers

" Sir? If I may? That Deadpool fellow is awfully... odd! "

" He has few issues, but, he is not really gonna kill you... I think? "

Logan walks into the kitchen, Peter quickly blocks the entrance to the room Deadpool is in. Logan grabs a beer from the fridge and using his adamantium claws opens it and takes a swig

" A little early for that isn't it heh-heh! " Peter croaked, Logan looked at him and mumbled, he headed towards Peter

" Ya wanna get outta my way, bub? " Deadpool wails with laughter at T.V.

" ummmm... i'm sorry but, you cannot go in there at the mo' my... err... my, my cousin vinnie is visiting and well, he isn't your biggest fan " Logan glares at Peter

" Uh-huh? Whut do I care? " Deadpool, again, laughs at T.V.

" Let me talk to him first - - " Logan gets right in Peter's face, Peter starts to sweat, alot

" Cut tha crap slim! yur lyin'... I can smell it " Logan takes another swig of beer

" Really? Uhh... I mean, no I'm not! " Logan tries to peek over Peter's shoulder

" What's really goin' on? " Peter looks left and right

" Ummmmmm - - " Logan takes another swig of beer

" Look! Eitha ya move OR ya gonna be pickin' yar guts off tha flo - " Suddenly

" Aaaaaahhahahahahhahahaah! Yo! Jarvis! More pancakes please! " Logan's eyes widened as he recognised the voice, his face started to contort into that of an enraged animal, he crushes the beer bottle, splintering glass in his hand

" Logan! Please! Don't D - " Logan shoved Peter aside and charged into the room

" YOU! " Deadpool froze with a piece of pancake hanging out the side of his mouth, he sucked it in

" Logan! Buddy! "

" AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH! WILSON! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! "

" (in a high pitch squeal) AAAAAAAHHHHHH! Wait! Was that to girly? " Logan pounced at Deadpool who cartwheeled out of the way and pulled his mask back over his mouth

" Hey! Logan! You forgot to call me bub? "

" AAARRRRGGGHHHHHGHHH! " Logan rushed towards Deadpool, who, leap frogged him

" Wowah! Dude! Why all the hostility? " The commotion had caused everyone to be awoken, Steve Rogers and Tony Stark were first on scene

" What is going on here? " said Steve with authority, Deadpool was momentarily distracted by Steve, Logan pounced on Deadpool and stabbed him through the head.

Logan continued stabbing Deadpool, blood was flung everywhere, until his rage had subsided. Logan slowly stood up, everyone one was looking at him in stunned silence. Logan looked around then broke the silence

" Whut? " Mary Jane ran into the kitchen and vomited, Jarvis fainted, Tony closed his eyes, lowered and shook his head and Peter just stood there with his mouth open... again? Steve spoke up

" Soldier explain yourself! "

" He deserved it "

" You are going to have to do BETTER than THAT! Soldier " Logan glared at Steve

" He ain't even dead! Hey! Wilson! Ya can get up now... Wilson?... Wilson! " But Deadpool didn't move?


	2. Deadpool Dead!

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 2

Deadpool Dead?

Steve Rogers looks at Logan

" Son, I do not know what is wrong with you? But you just killed a man - and you are in denial! " Logan snarled, Peter snaps out of his trance and goes to check on Mary Jane, Steve continued

" Look! It maybe none of my business but, who was that man and why did he deserve such a welcome? "

" Ya right! It IS none of ya business... he's Wade Wilson an' he's perfectly fine! " Tony Stark, upon hearing the name, started to contemplate. Steve put his hands on his hips

" Son! NOTHING! About this is fine! You- " Tony put his hand on Steve's shoulder

" Steve! Wait! I know of Wade Wilson or rather his codename – Deadpool. If my data is correct he has a healing factor that rivals, if not surpasses, that of Logan's " Steve looks bemused, he looks down at the body of Deadpool and says

" Is – that – right? " Deadpool ponders

" Should I be insulted that Captain America doesn't know who I am? " Jarvis starts to stir, Mary Jane attends to him while Peter rejoins the rest of group and cuts in

" That's right! Of course! I forgot in all the commotion, but yeah! He does have an accelerated healing ability "

" Ha! Gigs up Wilson " Sneers Logan

" Aww crap! " Mumbles Deadpool, before leaping to his feet and shouting

" BUSTED! Hahahahaah! " Steve suddenly turns his anger towards Deadpool

" Explain yourself! Why play possum? And potentially get Logan in trouble? " Deadpool looked around

" (Gulp!) Errh! Well, I thought it would be funny?... Besides he DID try to KILL ME! "

" Son! Death is nothing to laugh at! " Deadpool salutes

" Yes Sir! " Steve continues

" You have the ability to heal – so he could not have killed you! However, the intention was there and I believe you deserve an apology "

" Really? " Deadpool says shocked

" Yes! - Logan! " Steve motioned to Logan

" Ya kiddin' me right? " Logan moaned

" No! Apologise... Now! " Demanded Steve, Logan looked around not wanting to believe what Steve was saying

" Well, you DID try to kill him! " Peter said cautiously

" And you would of succeeded if it were not for his healing ability " Tony pointed out. Logan understood from their point of view how this looked, but, if only they knew Deadpool like he knew Deadpool, maybe in time they will – but for now

" Grrrrrh!... huuu... can't buhlieve I'm doin' this... " Steve threw Logan a stern look

" Sorry! " Logan muttered through clenched teeth

" Apology accepted! " Said Deadpool enthusiastically

" Good! Now why are you here causing all this unrest? " Steve asked Deadpool

" I – I – I'm sorry! It's just... well... I... err... I'm a fan of yours! " Deadpool stuttered, Logan's eyes bulged

" WHUT? Whut tha hell ya playin' at? Wilson you son ova- " Logan readies himself to, once again, pounce on Deadpool , who, leaps into the arms of Captain America and squeals

" Aaaaaaaahhhhh! Save me! "

" STAND DOWN SOLDIER! " Yelled Steve, Logan reluctantly retracted his claws, Steve puts down Deadpool who brushes himself off

" Wilson, wasn't it? Why are you here? " Asked Steve

" I wish to be... an 'Avenger'! " Announced Deadpool, silence fell has everyone looked around at each other, Steve broke the silence  
>" I hereby call an official Avengers meeting " With that they all headed to the meeting room.<p>

The Meeting Room.

They took their places at the table, Steve stands to conduct he meeting

" This meeting is to determine whether Deadpond, is suitable for being an Avenger "

" _Deadpool! It's Dead-Pool _" Whispered Deadpool

" I guess the first question is - why? " Inquires Tony

" Ummmm... Well, I have done a lot of bad things and... let's just say I'm not particularly proud of them, SO? I was hoping to reform, but I kinda need some guidance - and who better than MY idol, Captain America? " Explains Deadpool, Steve smiles

" Aren't you Canadian? " Peter says sarcastically

" Don't hold it against me? " Replies Deadpool

" That's not what I meant I – ahh nevermind! "

" Ya not buyin' this bull- " Questions Logan before being cut off by Tony

" Logan! YOU of ALL people should be able to understand! With your past we allowed you to join us, I don't see why the same cannot be done for Deadpool " Logan folds his arms and looks away

" I do not know of Deadpole's past, but, if he wishes to be a good American, then it is our duty to help him " States Steve

" Pool! " Says Deadpool

" Sorry? " Says Steve

" It's Dead-Pool! " He reaffirms

" Oh! Sorry son " Apologises Steve

" Jeez! Either the guy writing this keeps making mistakes? OR Cap is terrible with names? Hmmmmm...? " Says Deadpool, which goes unnoticed by everyone. Steve addresses Deadpool

" Okay! Dead-pool could you please wait outside why we discuss our decision "

Deadpool nods and proceeds to skip into the T.V room to watch cartoons.


	3. Deadpool Avenger!

AVENGERS®

Deadpool©

Chapter 3

Deadpool - The Avenger?

Steve addresses the rest of the Avengers.

" Would someone please, like to inform me on who Dead-Pool is and why YOU Logan show extreme hostility towards him? " They all look at Logan

" Whut?..." Logan shrugs, Steve shakes his head and says

" Logan, in order for us to decide whether Dead-Pool is eligible to join The Avengers we need to know his history or something about him? " Logan lowers his head and looks up Steve

" I'm tellin' ya nuffin'! Whatever I say won't change a thing and if ya thinkin' 'bout takin' Wilson on as an Avenger, then my vote is NO! And if ya had any sense ya'd all vote against it! " Logan gets up and leaves

" Logan! " Steve shouts, Logan ignores him, Steve stands up

" Let him go Steve " Tony says, Steve sits back down

" Fine! Anyone else know anything about Dead-Pool? " Tony pulls out his wireless laptop and connects with the towers databanks, meanwhile Logan walks over to Deadpool and gets in his face

" I don't know whut ya up to Wilson? But I 'ave my eye on ya! Cap is a good man, always wantin' ta buhlieve tha best in people, he's in there tryin' to convince the rest ya worth bein' an Avenger – I know betta, I wish I was more like Cap – but i'm not, ya step outta line, i'll ENJOY killin' ya over and over and over again! " Deadpool looks around

" Errrh... couldya move, bub? I'm tryin' ta watch ma carhtoons " Wolverine growls

" Are ya mimickin' ME? I'm warnin' ya this once! Got et?... are ya even listenin'? " Wolverine puts his claws to Deadpool's throat

" Logan, buddy! Chill! I heard you! You'll kill me – blah, blah, blah " Wolverine sheaths his claws and leaves muttering

" I needa beer! "

Meanwhile in the Meeting Room, Tony has found Deadpool's files

" Okay! My data says that his name is Wade Wilson, ex-military, currently a mercenary. He is Canadian with a criminal record. Hmmmm... His mother died of cancer when he was young, his dad was a military man – apparently abusive, in turn Wade became a delinquent, oh! " Tony stopped - gazing at the screen

" Oh? " Steve said

"Sorry got ahead of myself, it says his father died in an altercation in a club – he was shot with his own gun! " Tony states

" How old was Deadpool? " Peter asks

" Does not say but he soon joined the military " Tony responds

" How sad, another tragic childhood! " Steve shakes his head solemnly, then continues

" So he is a fellow soldier! What made him become a mercenary? " Steve inquires

" His attitude wasn't suited to military life " Says Tony

" Was this before or after he went insane? " Peter chuckeled, Steve looked at Pete sternly, Pete sat upright

" The military never diagnosed him as insane – so I would guess before... aah! wait a minute! Weapon X " Tony blurts out

" Weapon X? So that explains how Logan and Deadpool know each other. How did Dead-pool end up in Weapon X? " Asks Steve

" It IS strange! Weapon X tested on mutants Deadpool was Wade Wilson at the time and was not a mutant! " Tony revealed, Steve furrowed his brow

" Wait! I thought you said he had a healing factor? " Said Steve bemused

" I knew he was at Weapon X and he has regenerative powers, but never knew how? He was normal and, sort of like you Cap, acquired his powers whilst at Weapon X " Tony began reading in his head quickly

" Okay! It says they acquired Wade Wilson when he learned of his terminal cancer, offered him a chance of a cure, he agreed to testing and apparently they wanted to see if they could infuse Wolverine's healing ability with a non – mutant "

" This is tragic! They took advantage of a sick man " Steve clenches his fist, Ton continues

" It gets worse? The experiment was deemed a failure because it mutated his cancer, leaving his body completely scarred! He was dumped in the 'Hospice' – a place where rejects that aren't dead are imprisoned, somehow Wade managed to escape, then carried on as a mercenary now named Deadpool! No more data! "

" Those bastards! How can they treat an ill man that way? " Steve shakes with rage

" Cap? You alright? " Tony asks concernedly

" Yes! Thank you Tony... I feel we must ask Dead-pool to fill in the blanks, before we make a decision! " Steve declared

" Agreed! " Tony and Pete nodded, Steve arose from the table and entered the living quarters

" Dead-pool! Could you come in here for a second, please? " Deadpool leapt to his feet, saluted and took his place at the table

" Now we have been discussing your background, but, we would like you to fill in some blanks " Said Steve

" Oh sure! No problemo! " Deadpool said whilst putting his hands behind his head

" Yes – well, we are wondering why you chose to go to Weapon X for treatment for your cancer? " Asked Tony

" Well, Tony – I can call you Tony? Right? " Asked Deadpool

" Errh – Yeah? " Said Tony nervously

" Good! Now I had no chance of a cure by the 'normal' avenues, so, when I was offered a chance to be cured by secret means I took it! I mean, I just shunned the only girl I ever loved and who loved me, away so that she did not suffer watching me die! If they could cure me I could have had my life back! "

" I am sorry Dead-pool " Said Steve

" Me too Deadpool – it seems as though your whole life has been, well... tragedy after tragedy " Tony said solemnly

" Hey! Always gotta look on the bright side of life! " Said Deadpool, everyone looked around bemused, Tony continued

" Ummm... just one more question, how did you escape Weapon X? "

" After I was dumped in the 'Hospice' I endured countless days of torture in a game they liked to call 'The Deadpool' they took bets on how long we would last buuuut, to cut a long story short, this guy, lets call him Ajax 'cause that was his name, ripped out my heart which jump-started my healing ability, which regenerated my heart – but not my scarred skin, I never understood that? Anyway I digress, I proceeded to kill him and leave with my fellow prisoners " Steve, Tony And Pete are stunned

" Errrh... Did I say something wrong? " Inquired Deadpool

" No son! It's just – that takes some believing "

" Oh! And a side effect was my sunny disposition and lovably personality – I was a real bore before " Deadpool chirps

" _You mean insanity! Right?_ " Pete mumbles

" Dead-pool could you leave us a second? " Asked Steve

" Sure! " Deadpool cartwheels out of the Meeting Room into the living quarters, Steve stands and puts his hands behind his back

" Okay! Despite his tragic past it seems he wants to better himself, I for one commend that! I vote yes! " Tony nods

" Agreed Steve! I feel better being able to keep an eye on him! " Steve looks at Pete

" Peter? " Pete scratches his head

" I don't know? Wolverine will be pissed, and Deadpool is, well, not playing with a full deck "

" You do have the deciding vote Pete! " Tony smirks

" No pressure then, jeez! "

" Look son! Let ME deal with Logan, simply answer this question; a man who is alone, no family, friends and has done questionable things to survive, yet wants to better himself, is asking for your help! Are you really going to say no! You are a hero, helping others is what - we - do is it not? " Pete lowers his head

" ... Okay! Your right! My vote is – yes! "

Steve brings Deadpool into he Meeting Room, Steve begins

" Well, Dead-pool after some consideration, in response to your request of joining the Avengers I hereby announce that YOU Dead-pool... "

" No need for the suspense, jeez! This would have been a short story if I didn't become an Avenger? Considering it's called 'Avengers: Deadpool' – besides, I already read the paragraph above, thanks for the faith in me Pete! "

" Wait! What? I – I, how did he? " Pete stutters in shock

" And they call me slow! Bet he hasn't even realized he's in a story? " Comments Deadpool

" Who are you talking to? " Inquires Tony whilst looking around the room, Steve leans close to Tony with his hand partially covering his mouth

" _Must be the side effect he mentioned? " _Steve looked at Deadpool

" Well, Dead-pool welcome aboard, lets find you a room "

" AWESOME! " Deadpool proceeded to heel-click, then followed Steve out of the Meeting Room

" Are you sure this is a good idea? " Pete asks

" Only time will tell Pete! " Replies Tony.


	4. Deadpool's First Avenger Mission

AVENGERS®

Deadpool©

Chapter 4

Deadpool's First Avenger Mission!

Evening. A shadow swings through the New York skyline, resting upon a rooftop, the figure crouches keeping a watchful eye over the city.

(internal monologue ) " The city is too quiet, hmmmm... well! I guess it gives me a chance to clear my head, man! Hahahahaah! I sure do not wanna be around the Avengers Tower right now – hooo boy! Cap is gonna have a job trying to get Wolverine to co-operate with Deadpool - - "

" Logan will come round! " Spider-man jumps and turns round to see Deadpool

" WAAAH! What the - " Deadpool sits down near Spider-man

"Sorry! Did I disturb your musings? I know you hero types 'LOVE' to narrate your lives " Spider-man was in shock

" B-b-but? How did you know what I was thinking? And why did my Spider sense not go off? " Deadpool looked around nervously

" Oh! Ummmm – errrh! Lucky guess? Or! Maybe? I have psychic powers now! " (writers note: spider-man's spider sense only reacts to incoming danger, just in case you were wondering)

" Arh! Great! That's all I need! A psychic Deadpool! " Spider-man turns to continue looking out over the city

" So? What now? " Asked Deadpool " Do we - just – sit here looking out, broodingly across the city, waiting for something to happen? " Spider-man looked over his shoulder

" Something like that... Why ARE you here exactly? " Inquired Spider-man

" Steve and Tony sent me to baby-sit you " Replied Deadpool casually

" Baby-sit me? " Spider-man said suspiciously

" Yeah! Something about how you go off alone, yadda yadda, carry a tremendous burden, yadda yadda yadda, needs to realize he is part of a team, yadda yadda yadda, go make sure he is all right! So here I am! " Deadpool said throwing his arms up

" Yep! Here you are! 'Woohoo!' " Spider-man said sarcastically

" I got the impression they were trying to get rid of me? " Deadpool said with hand on chin

" 'Really?' That 'does' surprise me! " Retorted Spider-man sarcastically, he continues

" Probably thought it best you were no-where near Avengers Tower when they broke the news to Logan, hahaha! " Deadpool shrugged, Spider-man hears rustling and turns to see Deadpool wrestling with a bag of 'Avengers Jelly Sweets'

" What are you doing? " Questioned Spider-man bemused

" Huh! Oh you want one? " Deadpool offered the bag of sweets to Spider-man, Spider-man shook his head

" 'No'! It's – It's just why'd you bring sweets with you? We are supposed to be ready to fight crime! " States Spider-man

" Jeez! Would you listen to yourself? Chill! I cannot combat evildoers on an empty stomach! Hahahaah!... Now, are you SURE you don't wanna sweet? There is one of 'you' – it's raspberry and blueberry flavour? " Deadpool proceeds to, again, offer the bag of sweets to Spider-man, but this time he shakes it as well .

At this time Spider-man remembered a phrase his Uncle Ben used to tell him " Go along to get along ", Spider-man smiled to himself then another phrase came to mind ' if you cannot beat 'em, join 'em ' (internal monologue) " Uncle Ben you maybe right? Instead of combating Deadpool, what with his insanity, it maybe best to just – relax, go with it " Spider-man looked at Deadpool and inquired

" Raspberry and blueberry? "

" Yeah I know! It's your old iconic red and blue costume not your snazzy red and gold Avenger costume "

" Hah! Thanks! I will have one! " Spider-man takes the jelly sweet version of himself – lifts up the bottom of his mask, puts it in his mouth and replaces his mask

" That's actually pretty good! " Spider-man comments Deadpool begins to slurp on a drink

" What's that? " Spider-man asked

" Chocolate milkshake " Deadpool said before taking another big slurp

" Hah! Do you always bring food and drink with you? " Joked Spider-man, Deadpool nodded

" Pretty much " Spider-man began to slouch back

" Hahaha! You're one strange dude Deadpool! "

" By the way! When do I get a cool new uniform? "

" Haha! Ask Tony, I'm sure he'll make you one " Just as Spider-man and Deadpool were getting comfortable alarms started blaring out! Spider-man suddenly bolted upright on high alert. He began scanning the streets for signs of wrong doing (internal monologue) " Man! Why does this always happen to ME! I hope it's nothing too serious, not with Deadpool here, I wanna limit the bloodshed "

Just then The Rhino came running down the street (internal monologue) " Awww! Brother! Why'd it have to be one of MY supervillians? Could it not have been some normal person? " Spider-man shakes his head

" Come on Deadpool! It's The Rhino we'd better deal with this "

" A rhino? So? Like? Who do we call? Steve and Tony? The Police? Or The New York Zoo? "

" What? There's no time! We're dealing with this! COME ON! " Spider-man shoots a web and swings away

" But I didn't get to finish my miiiilkshaaaake! " Whines Deadpool, Spider-man does a spinning twist before landing in front of Rhino, Rhino stops running, he has a bag of money in each hand – it is obvious he stole from a bank

" Okay! Rhino! You know how this goes, so? Why not be a good boy and just save yourself a beating, courtesy of yours truly and give yourself up? Huh, whadda ya say? "

" No Way! Short Stuff! Not dis time! Imma gonna squash ya like a bug! " Rhino snorts

" Really? Don't you say that every time we meet? " Jokes Spider-man, Rhino adopts a crouched running stance and starts stomping his foot like a bull ready to charge

" YO! SOMEBODY CALL THE NEW YORK ZOO WE HAVE A RHINO ON THE LOOSE! " Spider-man peered over the shoulder of Rhino to see Deadpool running around shouting to the gathered crowd

" HEY LADY! DON'T WALK AWAY! CALL THE ZOO! OR THE POLICE! COME ON SOMEONE! WE HAVE A RHINO HERE! HEY YOU! YEAH YOU! STOP FILMING ON YOUR PHONE AND CALL THE ZOO! WAIT! IS THAT THE NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY - - " Rhino looks over his shoulder

" Huh? " Spider-man slaps his forehead whilst shaking his head (internal monologue) " I knew this was a mistake, I cannot fight Rhino AND look out for Deadpool "

" DEADPOOL! WILL YOU GET OVER HERE ALREADY? " Shouts Spider-man, Deadpool looks over at Spider-man

" OKAY! " Deadpool skips towards Rhino and Spider-man

" Urh! He a friend a yours? " Asks Rhino

" No! Not Really? More of a team mate! " Spider-man says

" Huh? So he an Avenger? " Spider-man nods, Rhino looks at Deadpool as he approaches and notices that he is covered in weapons, Rhino decides to make a run for it

" Oww! My ears are burning! Pete – Urh I mean Spider-man, you talking about me? "

" DAMN! Come ON! He's making a break for it! "

" How do you know it's a he? " Spider-man motions for Deadpool to climb on his back, Deadpool does so, they swing off after Rhino

" So what's the plan on taking down the rhino? " Asks Deadpool

" When we catch up to him, you drop on top of him and pound on him, I'll web his eyes, he hates that haha! And you steer him into a wall or lamppost or something "

" Okay! Got it! " They catch up to Rhino and start to exercise Spider-man's plan; Deadpool drops onto Rhino and starts to punch him, Spider-man webs Rhino in the eyes, Rhino starts to get mad

" ARRRRRRRRHHHHHHH! " Screams Rhino, Deadpool rides Rhino towards the wall of a pizza shop, Deadpool jumps off as Rhino slams into the wall.

Spider-man lands next to Deadpool as he is dusting himself off  
>" Nice! Well done Deadpool " Spider-man offers a high five<p>

" Well, it was your plan " Deadpool reciprocates the high five, Rhino stirs

" Urrrrrhh... Imma gonna get ya for that! " Deadpool goes ridged in shock

" _psst! Pete!..._ _Pete!_ " Whispers Deadpool, Spider-man cocks his head towards Deadpool slightly and answers

" What? " Deadpool looks around

" Am I crazy? Or, did? Did that rhino just talk? " Spider-man pinches the top of his nose between his eyes, with a hand on hip and sighs

" Yes! You are crazy! And that rhino did talk! " Rhino starts to get to his feet, Deadpool leans in close to Spider-man

" _psst!... psst! Pete! "_ Spider-man sighs, again

" What now? "

" How does he know English? Aren't rhino's from, like, Africa? " Spider-man is amused slightly and decides to play along, although he is pretty sure that Deadpool and Rhino have crossed paths before

" Rhino's ARE from Africa but, this one was born in Russia and was brought over here and taught English! That's why he knows English! "

" WAIT! Are you's two makin' fun of me? " Asks Rhino, Deadpool and Spider-man look at Rhino

" Us? " They both say pointing at themselves

" As if we'd do such a thing " Spider-man says

" GRRRRAAAAHHH! " Rhino charges at them, Spider-man jumps over Rhino and lands on the side of a building, Deadpool jumps sideways into a roll and whips out his guns, people have begun to gather round the fight

" Hey! No fair! Come down here so i's can pummel ya! "

" Hey! Grey horn-man! " Rhino turns round to face Deadpool who is aiming two guns at him

" My friends wanna say hello! *Deadpool shakes his guns* meet... well, I didn't name them – what am I? Some nutjob? Hahahahahahaah! " (internal monologue) " NO! I cannot let him use those, let alone the fact if he misses he might hit an innocent, I'm gonna have to have a word to Steve and Tony about his weapons! "

" DEADPOOL! NO! "

" Huh? " Deadpool looked towards Spider-man

" We are heroes, remember? We don't kill! " Deadpool lowered his head and kicks the ground

" Awww! I just wanted to show him my guns? " Rhino uses the distraction to charge at Deadpool, who dove out the way. Spider-man jumped down next to Deadpool who is holstering his guns

" _psst!_ By the way, don't tell Rhino but, I got some tranquillizers " Spider-man staggers in shock at Deadpool's revelation

" Really? That's convenient? Okay! Let's - " But before Spider-man could finish Rhino tried to hit them, Spider-man climbed on top of Rhino and started punching him, Rhino tried to shake Spider-man off

" WOAH! Down boy! NOW DEADPOOL! " Deadpool pats himself all over

" Just a sec... now! Where did I put those tranqs? " Spider-man struggles to stay on Rhino as Rhino shakes and swipes at him

" When I's gets ma hands on ya! Imma gonna squash ya like a bug! " Rhino declares

" Holy Deja vu! Hahahaah! You already said that fish brain! Hahahahaah! DEADPOOL? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? "

" You to knock some sense into mr 'i'm gonna rob a bank dressed as a rhino tonite' Hahahahaah! "Taunts Deadpool

" Hahahaah! I've been trying that for years! I think it's a lost cause! Hahahahaah! " Jokes Spider-man

" GRRRH! STOP LAFFIN' AT ME! "

" COME ON DEADPOOL! I CAN'T DO THIS FOREVER? "

" ALRIGHT! Jeez! " Deadpool finds two tranq syringes

" Okay! FOUND 'EM! " Deadpool ran in close to Rhino threw a few punches and kicks, with little effect, Rhino swings at Deadpool who ducks

" AAAAA swing and a miss " Rhino tries again

" That's strike two – can he make it a third? "

" COME HERE! " Rhino enraged tries to grab Deadpool

" StrrrrrrrrrrIKE Three! Heeeeee's outta there! Hahahahaah! " Deadpool jabs the tranq syringe at Rhino

" AAAHHHHH! " Screams Spider-man

" Oops! "

" Please tell me that 'wasn't' the tranq syringe? " Pleaded Spider-man

" That 'wasn't' the tranq syringe "

" That wasn't very convincing "

" Harharhar! You got Spider-man instead of me " Taunted Rhino, Spider-man felt his leg go a numb before feeling a little drowsy, Rhino managed to throw Spider-man off, Deadpool kneels beside Spider-man

" Sorry Pete! " Spider-man grabs Deadpool's arm

" When I wake up... I'm gonna... kill you!... Oh!... By the way stop... calling me Pete in... front of the supervill - - " Spider-man passed out, Rhino charged at Deadpool, Deadpool turned round to see Rhino heading straight for him

" EEEP! " Rhino impales Deadpool on his horn

" Harharhar! Who's laffin' now laffin' boy? Harharhar! "

" Still ME! Surprise butt-face! " Deadpool jabs the other syringe in Rhino's forehead

" AAAARRRHH! " Rhino staggers about, Deadpool places his feet into the chest of Rhino and manages to free himself from Rhino's horn

" And he has him on the ropes, all he needs is one big hit for the win " Deadpool windmills his arm before punching Rhino in the face, Rhino falls to the ground

" And the winner - by knock-out... DEAAAAAAAAAAAADPOOOOOOOL! " Deadpool is celebrating his victory to the cheers and applause of the gathered crowd

" Thank you all! You are a beautiful audience! " Just as Deadpool was enjoying himself the NYPD turn up

" Aww crap! The boys in blue! Better get outta here! " He grabs Spider-man and legs it down a couple of back alleys towards Avengers Tower.


	5. Deadpool's Apology?

AVENGERS®

Deadpool©

Chapter 5

Deadpool's Apology?

Deadpool is carrying the unconscious Spider-man over his shoulder and getting tired, suddenly Deadpool realizes he does not know the way back to Avengers Tower

" Awww maaaaan! What am I gonna do?... Oh! Of course! My teleportation device! " Knowing it is somewhat temperamental, Deadpool closes his eyes, crosses his fingers and presses the button on his teleportation device – Deadpool opens his eyes slowly to see he is still standing in the alley way

" Awww come on! " Deadpool tries again – nothing!

" Come ON! You Piece a CRAP! " Deadpool tries again – - and again – and again and again, again, again, again, again, again, again - until finally he receives a shock from the device, Deadpool dumps Spider-man on the floor as he collapses

" Okay! Fine! Guess teleportation isn't an option " Deadpool stands up and scans the scene, a taxi goes by and Deadpool gets an idea

" Yeah! A taxi! Wait! Why am I talking to myself? " Deadpool runs out into the street waving his arms like a loon shouting

" TAXI! TAXI! " Finally a taxi pulls up and Deadpool hops in, the driver turns round

" Ya – Ya Deadpool right? "

" Yep! "

" Huha man! Imma big fan! So? Where to? " The driver says excitedly

" Avengers Tower please, my good man " Replies Deadpool

" Starks place huh? No probs! " The driver turned back and started to pull off when

" WAIT! " Deadpool shouted, the taxi screeched to a halt

" Whut? " The driver inquired bemused

" I forgot about Spider-man! Can you wait a sec? " The driver shrugged

" Urrh?... Sure! " Deadpool leapt out of the taxi and went into the alley in which Spider-man was laying, he picked Spider-man up by the armpits and proceeded to drag him to the taxi, the driver leaned out of his window

" Yo! Ya need sum help there? " The driver offered

" Nah! I got it thanks! " Deadpool struggled to get Spider-man into the taxi and accidentally banged Spider-man's head against the top of the door rim on the way in

" Okay! We're in! " Deadpool slams the door shut

" Avengers Tower it is then " The driver pulled away and headed to Avengers Tower

" Whut's wrong wid Spider-man? " Asked the driver over his shoulder

" Urrr... ummmm... he – uh, kinda got knocked-out in our fight with a rhino "

" A fight wid a rhino? " Inquired the driver

" Yeah! A rhino robbed a bank and we stopped it getting away with the money " The driver looked bemused before it dawned on him it might be 'The Rhino' as opposed to 'a' rhino

" Man, dis is SO surreal! Deadpool an' Spider-man in tha back o' ma cab! Man! "

" Well, I don't have the ability to shoot silly string from my wrists *Deadpool mimes web shooting* aaaaand I don't have a vehicle – yet! And this stupid teleportation device is not working, so, not much choice? " The driver frowns

" Wait a minute! Ya're a mercenary right? How come ya need ta go to tha Avengers Tower? If ya don't mind my askin' " Deadpool put his hands on his hips and proudly states

" I am an Avenger now! " The driver's eyes bulged from shock

" Wh – wh... I – I... Bu – but? Aren't ya kinda a lidle 'hardcore' for bein' an Avenger? Ya know? They try 'not' ta shed blood "

" I'm a hero now! So I do this for the love of helping people! "

" Really? That's – that's good "

20mins Later.

They arrive at Avengers Tower, Deadpool clambers out of the taxi with Spider-man in tow, Deadpool turns to the driver

" Thanx for the ride. Now! About payment? "

" Ya keep ya money! All I ask is ya take a pik-chor wid me, ya know,so I can proove ya was inma cab " Deadpool breathes a sigh of relief, if the driver had asked for payment, he would have had to knock him out because, he had no money

" Okay! " Deadpool said as he propped Spider-man up so he could be in the photo too

" Lemme jus' get ma phone " The driver got his phone and began to take a couple of pictures, while Deadpool happily posed.

Avengers Tower. Deadpool tried to sneak in but, Steve caught him

" What's going on here soldier? " Deadpool jumped and dropped Spider-man

" Uhh! Well, I – ha – you see? " Stuttered Deadpool

" Calm down! Take a deep breath - and try again " Steve said calmly, Deadpool took a deep breath

" Me and Spider-man stopped a super-villian Rhino and in the process... Spider-man kinda... got knocked unconscious... hahaheh! " Deadpool said nervously rubbing the back of his neck

" Really? " Steve said crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow, a quick smirk flashed across Steve's face, Tony joined them saying

" So? The two heroes of the evening return! Hahahahaheh! "

" Huh? " Deadpool was confused, Tony continued

" Yeah it's been reported that you two saved the day! By the way, what heheh! Happened to Spider-man ***snort*** heheh! " Tony covered his mouth whilst trying to hold back laughing

" That's enough Tony! " Steve said, he then turned to Deadpool and continued

" Okay Dead-pool! Take Spider-man to his room, you should get some rest too, we'll talk more in the morning – when Spider-man is... conscious " Deadpool saluted, picked up Spider-man and headed off towards the sleeping quarters.

Next Day. Morning.

Deadpool stretched as he awoke, a yawn escaped from his mouth, he then rolled out of bed. A few minutes later, when he was dressed, he strolled down the corridor towards the living quarters to see Wolverine and Luke Cage watching TV

" Hey! " Deadpool said cheerily

" Hurrh! " Wolverine growled with contempt before folding his arms, Cage stood up looked back at Wolverine and shook his head, he then walked over to Deadpool and offered his hand

" Hey Deadpool! Nice ta finally meet ya! " They shook hands and Cage continued

" Don't mind Wolverine – he woke up on da wrong side of da bed dis mornin' haha! Aaaaahh who am I kiddin' he's ALWAYS like dat! "

" Me and Logan are old buddies " Deadpool states, Wolverine shoots Deadpool a death stare

" Oh really? " Cage responds smirking as he looks over his shoulder at Wolverine

" SHUT UP WILSON! I ain't no 'buddy' of yors! " Wolverine growls, Deadpool shoots his arms out as if going for a hug

" Aaaaaww Logan - don't be like thaaat? _He's just kidding me and Logan are like this!_ " Deadpool links his two pinkies together implying they are best friends

" Grrhh! DON'T - push me - Wilson! "

" Deadpool! Can we see you for a moment? " Steve shouts from the kitchen, Deadpool waves bye to Cage and Logan and heads into the kitchen where Steve and Tony are waiting. Cage sits back down next to Wolverine

" He seems alrite ta me " Says Cage, Wolverine scowls

" Hmph! "

Deadpool enters the kitchen, Steve is finishing a bowl of cereal and Tony is sipping on a coffee

" Whut's up! " Deadpool asks, Steve and Tony look at each other, Steve addresses Deadpool

" Good job the other day son "

" Uh, thanx Dad! " Deadpool said graciously

" Yes, despite the mishap " Tony chuckled

" You managed to stop a super-villian with-out civillian casualties, minimal property damage and! Minimal damage to the Rhino, all in all, a successful job " Steve said proudly

" Even LOGAN CAN'T COMPLAIN! " Tony said loud enough for Wolverine to hear

" Huh! Whut 'bout knockin' owt Pete? " Logan sneered in reply, Deadpool looked sheepish, not that you could tell with the mask on,

" Yes, well... " Steve started only to be interrupted by Luke Cage

" YO! IT'S ON! " Steve and Tony hurried into the living quarters, Deadpool addresses YOU the reader

" I'm not sure I should follow? Especially if, what I think is gonna happen – is gonna happen? " Deadpool follows to see Cage, Logan, Steve and Tony eagerly watching the TV, Deadpool stood behind the sofa and noticed the news was on TV, he thought to himself

" Hmmmm... why so excited about the news? "

" Welcome to New York sunrise with me Rex Cable, we start today with the news that super powered villian - 'The Rhino', was apprehend last night by New York's finest with help from local hero 'The Spider-man' and Deadpool, although Deadpool's involvement is unclear, it appears he was assisting Spider-man in 'The Rhino's' capture. We have video footage from both our news teams and eye witnesses, we have compiled a VT "

" Eep! " Deadpool suddenly knew what was coming and wished he was anywhere but the Avengers Tower. The video started playing and silence fell as they watched with anticipation, moments later

" BWAAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH! " they all, except Wolverine, roared with laughter as Deadpool jabbed Spider-man with the tranq and he proceeded to sleep, Cage wipes a tear away from his eye

" Bah! Idiot! " Barked Wolverine, Steve notices Deadpool hanging his head in shame and walks over to him, Steve puts a hand on Deadpool's shoulder to comfort him

" I am sorry! We should not laugh "

" Nah! It's okay! It's just – well, I wanted to impress you and knocking out Pete isn't exactly impressive! I also wanted to save Pete embarrassment but, I guess that's not possible now "

" Pete will understand " Tony says reassuringly

" Don't feel bad son, accidents happen, you did well to continue with stopping the Rhino, we have all made mistakes " Deadpool lifts his head

" Yeh! Dat's rite! It's cool " Says Cage, Tony nods in acknowledgement

" Yeh! Next time, it might be a bullet? " Says Wolverine

" Thank - you - Logan! Don't listen to him, I am proud of how you handled yourself; the fact you feel bad and you wanted to protect your fellow Avenger tells me, I made the right decision in fighting to let you join the Avengers " Wolverine grumbled and walked off

" It's over now, they'll probably move on to a different story " Says Tony promisingly

" We go live now to J. Jonah Jameson who is with our on scene reporter Stacy Reilly – Stacy? " Wolverine turned round and sat back down

" Oh great! " Says Tony mockingly

" Hah! This should be good! " Wolverine said sarcastically

" Thank you Rex! I am here with the chief editor of the prestigious Daily Bugle, J. Jonah Jameson – Mr. Jameson what are your thoughts on the apprehension of 'The Rhino' and Deadpool's involvement? " J.J grabs the mic, stares intensely down the camera and starts to go off on one

" We 'all' know that Deadpool did not need help from that web-headed menace! In FACT! Deadpool felt he 'had' to knock-out Spider-man, in order to capture that buffoon 'The Rhino' " Stacy stands with mouth open in disbelief for a moment before wrestling back her mic

" I'm sorry! Are you saying Spider-man was 'interfering' with Deadpool? " J.J smiles

" Exactly! How long are you people gonna be blind to the fact that Spider-man is a menace? A crook! A – A - A costumed freak! Who doesn't know when he is a hindrance to others? " A vein in J.J's head starts to pulsate

" Errh... " Stacy is speechless, J.J calms down a bit

" Deadpool! Now THERE is a hero! I only wish he had handed Spider-man to the NYPD " J.J puts his hands on his hips

" And why do you think Deadpool didn't? " J.J ponders for a moment whilst stroking his moustache before answering

" Maybe to talk some sense into that idiot wall crawler and hopefully we won't see him ever again! "

" Hahah - he's finally lost it! No way a sane man can describe Deadpool as a 'hero' " Wolverine says grinning from ear to ear, Deadpool clenches his fist

" That isn't what happened! "

" We know! Mr. Jameson has a vendetta against Spider-man, he'll twist this to harm Spider-man's reputation " Explains Steve

" That's not right! That asshole! " Deadpool struggles to contain his anger

" Could I ask you please, to refrain from such language in my presence – but, your not wrong " Said Steve

" It's my fault! If I hadn't knocked Spider-man out - - "

" NO! Mr. Jameson would of done this anyway, this is what he does, tells lies in order to besmirch Spider-man's name " Deadpool still feels guilty and desides to do something about it

" Someone should teach him a lesson " Deadpool presses the button on his teleportation device, suddenly, Deadpool disappears

" What the? Where did Deadpool go? " Asks Tony

" He was – he was right here! " Steve replies dumbfounded, Deadpool reappears behind J. Jonah Jameson

" Oh No! " Tony says horrified

" This cannot be good! " Steve states, Cage, Logan, Steve and Tony watch the TV in horror as Deadpool proceeds to tap on J. J's shoulder then punch him in the face, J. J falls to the ground, the Avenger's are frozen in shock Deadpool then stands next to Stacy waving hello into the camera, Stacy is motionless and speechless, Deadpool grabs her mic

" GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOORNIIIIIIING! NEW YORK! Sorry you had to see that, but 'someone' had to shut him up! Am I right? " J. J stands up,

" WHY YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M GONNA MAKE YOUR LIF- " Before J. J could finish Deadpool punched him again

" Citizens of New York, despite what J. J said, what I did was an accident and I want to publicly apologise for knocking Spider-man out! I hope you don't listen to that fool Jameson, because he is wrong! Spider-man IS a hero – I, on the other hand, am not – yet! " Logan looks over at Steve

" So? Steve! Still thinkin' it's a good idea lettin' Wilson be a' Avenger? Hahahahahahaah! A won't say A told ya so – but, ya know? "

" Shut up Logan! " Steve snaps, Deadpool gets close to the camera

" And to the Avengers and especially Cap – I'm sorry for this but, I had to set the record straight " It cuts back to Rex Cable in New York sunrise's studio

" Errh! Viewers, we will come back to that story after this commercial break " Cage, Steve and Tony are a little shell-shocked, Logan gets up and goes to grab a beer

" What now Steve? "

" Do not worry Tony! I'll have a word with Deadpool when he gets back " Pete staggers into the living quarters rubbing his eyes, yawning

" Urrhmmmaah! Morning guys! " He suddenly notices something is not quite right

" What? What is it? Do I have something on my face? "

" Mornin' Pete Hahaheh! " Cage says tensely

" Morning, son " Steve says

" How you feeling? " Tony asks

" Ummmm... Okay I guess! Apart from this headache " Pete clutches his forehead

" Oh! Good! " Tony says with an awkward smile, Pete goes into the kitchen thinking to himself

" Well, that was odd " He notices Logan drinking a beer

" Morning Logan " Logan smirks at Pete

" Hah! Mornin' sleepin' beauty, hahahahahahaah! " Logan walks in to the living quarters laughing

" Huh? Ooooookaaay? " Pete pours himself a water and takes a couple of asprin, he can hear the others whispering, as he walks into the living quarters it stops

" Okay! What the hell is going on guys? " They all look sheepish, just then

" Welcome back viewers! I'm Rex Cable here on New York sunrise and my word, just mere moments ago, known mercenary Deadpool punched the Daily Bugle's editor J. Jonah Jameson twice for claims of falsehood "

" What the? " Pete mumbles as he gets into a better position to see the TV

" For those that missed it, here it is again " The VT plays of Spider-man and Deadpool facing the Rhino, the Avengers keep there eyes on Pete for his reaction, Pete starts to go red and cringe

" AAAAAAAHHHH! I'M GONNA KILL HIM! Urrrgh! How embarrassing! " Pete puts his head in his hands, a second VT plays of J. Jonah Jameson's rant

" Jeez! Ol' J. J never changes huh? " Then the VT shows Deadpool's assault on J. J

" BWAAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH! " Pete clutches his ribs, crying with laughter

"Oh man! I've wanted to do that SO bad, so many times Hahahahaah! " Pete has a massive smile on his face until he realizes what this could possible mean for him and the Avengers

"We join Stacy Reilly back at the scene where, I am being told, she has recovered from her ordeal – Stacy? "

" Thank you Rex! Deadpool joins me - - "

" WHAAAAAAAAT! " Screams Pete

" Oh no! "

**Next Time:** _Deadpool's Date With Steve?_


	6. Deadpool's Date With Steve?

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 6

Deadpool's Date With Steve?

The Avengers are frozen in silence as Stacy Reilly is about to interview Deadpool live on 'New York Sunrise', Deadpool has his back to the camera, waving goodbye to J. Jonah Jameson who, in the background, is being escorted away from the scene by police - all the while thrashing, ranting and shouting obscenities

" Love you too J.J " Deadpool jokes, Stacy taps Deadpool on the shoulder

" Errh! Deadpool can I ask you some questions? " Deadpool turns round to face the camera

" By all means " Stacy smiles

" Okay - first, I'm sure our viewers would like to know; why exactly did you attack Mr J. Jonah Jameson? "

" Because for too long that jackass has been spreading lies and making up stories about how Spider-man is a menace and I thought, why does he get away with this? * Deadpool shrugs * And why is he allowed to do this on TV? SO? Yours truly * Deadpool points to himself * decided to shut him up! " Deadpool finishes clenching his fist next to his face, Stacy looks away, frowns and looks back at Deadpool

" But? It's not a very 'heroic' thing to do? " Deadpool recoils slightly

" Really? And standing around allowing a guy to be mean to others, a hero no less, and stay silent IS 'heroic' – * Deadpool swipes the air with both hands across his chest * come on! The only difference is he's verbally assaulting as opposed to physically harming, the way 'I' see it * Deadpool stands with chest out * he is no different than these 'villains' we put away. If he had some strange powers would you view this differently? He is attempting to brainwash * Deadpool points to his head * the good citizens of New York and I for one won't stand idly by and let him corrupt the minds of the people of New York, especially the kids! " The Avengers and Stacy are equally stunned

" I - guess - he does - have a point " Says Tony, Steve smiles and says

" He reminds me of me! "

" Really? How? " Tony says curiously

" Standing up for what you believe in, even if at first it seems wrong. He wasn't frightened to act in the interest of others – he is not wrong! What Mr Jameson gets away with is not right! " Tony smiles, Logan roles his eyes, Stacy ponders for a moment

" Wow! You make a good point Deadpool! I guess the second question is; what is your link with Spider-man? "

" We're together! "

" Together? " Inquires Stacy

" Yeah! You know? " Deadpool nods, Stacy takes a moment before

" WOW! You maybe the first recognized gay hero couple! What do we call you Spiderpool? Spidead? Deaider-man?" Stacy says excitedly, Pete went red while Cage and Logan laughed hysterically

" Please someone stop him before he makes it worse " Pleaded Pete

" Sorry Pete! Dis is too good " Apologized Cage

" Yeh! Ya wanted 'im on tha team, Hahahahahahaah! I say let 'im keep rollin' " Logan said amused

" What can we do Pete? " Shrugs Tony

" I don't know there must be something – like – you could go in your Iron man suit and remove him and bring him back here! "

" Sorry! Don't think I would make it in time "

Deadpool didn't quite understand what Stacy said – Or did he? _(you decide)_

" Wait! What? What are you talking about? " Deadpool asked shaking his head " I'm also together with Wolverine! " Logan's eyes bulged as he spat out his beer in disbelief, the others laughed

" WHAAAT! WILSON IMMA GONNA KILL YA! "

" 'Now' do you wanna stop him? Hahahahaah! Should I be jealous he is two timing me? Hahahahaah! " Pete joked, Logan threatened Pete with his adamantium claws

" 'Ah' 'ave ah healin' ability - do you? "

" LOGAN! " Steve shouts sternly, Logan grumbles and retracts his claws

" Really? Does Spider-man know? " Stacy says with a sly smile

" Of course! I'm together with all of the Avengers! " Stacy goes blank, slightly confused

" What? Oh! Do you mean you're an Avenger? " Deadpool nods

" Yep! Why? - what did you think I meant? " Deadpool questions

" Oh! ummm... nothing! " Stacy mutters perturbed, The Avengers breath a collective sigh of relief,

" So you are now a member of 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes - The Avengers'; How did that happen? " Stacy asked

" Oh! Basically I went there and asked to be one " Replied Deadpool

" And just like that you were an Avenger? " Pete looks around and asks concernedly

" You don't think he'll mention that Logan tried to kill him do you? "

" Anything is possible at the moment " Replies Tony, Deadpool answers

" Well, there were a couple of tests, I can't discuss them but, a big thanx goes out to Logan who made me welcome in his own 'special' way? " Logan growls

" Okay! So in order to be an Avenger, have you given up being a mercenary? "

" Yes! Which reminds me! Anyone who wants to contact me for a job, now has to consider I'm an Avenger! So I'll only do jobs that are for the good of the Earth – preferably no killing! Oh! And don't forget to follow me on Twitter© my Tweeting name is TheOneTrueDeadpool " Stacy cuts Deadpool off

" Okay! Thank you! Right? Next question how - " Stacy suddenly puts two fingers on her left ear and looks away from Deadpool " _What!... Seriously?... Can't we - - Okay! Okay!_ Sorry viewers it seems we are out of time – so that leaves me to say – Deadpool thank you for talking to New York Sunrise, it was... most informative "

" No problem! " Deadpool waves goodbye into the camera, then presses the button on his belt

" Okay! Tomorrow I'll be back with an interview with music sensation Metallica – Don't miss it! " Deadpool continues to press the button on his belt again and again and a few more times before giving up, Deadpool starts waving his arms like a loon

" TAXI! YO! TAXI!... HEY! DON'T DRIVE PAST!... COME ON! SOMEONE! " Stacy smiles awkwardly

" Back to you Rex "

" Thank you Stacy! What about that Deadpool huh? Wow! Didn't think those hero types did interviews? " Rex says with a smirk

Avengers Tower. Pete and Logan were eager for Deadpool's return

" Ah can't wait ta tear him a new one! " Logan rubbed his adamantium claws together with a menacing grin, Pete pointed to behind himself

" Get in line Logan! When he tranqued me I said I was gonna kill him first! "

" WHUT! I've wanted ta kill 'im since he got 'ere! " Tony was in disbelief at how nonchalantly Logan and Pete were arguing over killing Deadpool, well, maybe Logan not so much, Tony walked over to Steve, who was sitting in thought, whilst keeping his eyes on Logan and Pete

" Steve they are arguing over who gets to kill Deadpool! Maybe we should consider letting Deadpool - go? "

" No! I will speak to him privately, I will explain how things work in the Avengers "

" What do you see in him Steve? " Steve places his hand on his chin

" Not sure? But he showed his heart is in the right place today! It may have not been the way you or I would have done things but, Dead-pool has the potential to be a hero to whom we could ALL look up to " Logan approaches Steve and Tony

" 'ave ya lost ya mind Steve? *points at his head furiously* That idiot says an' does tha first thing that comes ta 'im! It was nuthin' but a damn fluke that he was able ta turn 'is actions inta sumthin' resemblin' heroism! " Steve stood up

" Logan, you may not like Dead-Pool but, what he did today was to protect and apologise to Pete, that, to me, means he cares for others, which means he has the foundation of being a great hero – whether YOU like it or not! " Logan walked off muttering that it's a mistake having Deadpool as an Avenger, Pete goes over to Steve

" I didn't realize before but, I think you're right, he did this for me " Steve smiles

" He wants you to forgive him for his mistake " Pete hangs his head, Tony puts his hand on Pete

" Besides, if you do plan on killing Deadpool, could you do it outside? Cause I don't want any more blood in the tower, it took Jarvis ages to clean it up yesterday " Tony says jestingly, they all laugh, Deadpool bounces in

" DID YOU SEE THAT? POW! Right in the kisser *Deadpool mimes punching* TWICE! Hahahahaahuuuh - uh - hi Pete, you ah, you still mad at me? " Pete shakes his head

" No, we're cool! Just – just try not to knock me out again, or injure me or embarrass me on TV or - "

" Pete! I think he gets it " Tony smiles, motioning to stop

" Thanx Pete! I'll try not to do any of those things you mentioned *Deadpool looks around* wait! Where's Logan and Cage? " Deadpool asks

" Logan's out sulking somewhere, feel sorry for whoever he bumps into and Cage went to see Iron Fist " Pete said, Steve approached Deadpool

" Son, you and I need to have a chat, Tony! Could I borrow one of your jets? " Tony nods, Deadpool is startled

" Huh! Where are we going? " Deadpool asks, Steve looks at Deadpool and smiles

" Out into the city " Steve motioned for Deadpool to follow, they headed towards the Quinnjet hangar

" Can we get ice-cream? " Deadpool asks excitedly

" Urrh! If you want? " Steve says a little flummoxed

" YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Ice-cream! " Deadpool starts to bounce up and down in giddy excitement, Tony leans in close to Steve

" I hope you know what you are doing? " Steve puts on his mask

" We will be fine Tony " They climb aboard the Quinnjet, Tony waves them off as they head into the city.

In The City.

They set down on a nearby rooftop, Deadpool bounds out followed by Captain America

" So? When do I gets the ice-cream? " Deadpool said wishfully

" Uh! Well, I guess we could do that first – come on " Captain America takes Deadpool to get ice-cream, they climb down the fire escape and head towards 'Joe's Frozen Treats'. As they enter the ice-cream store they are greeted with people frozen in awe, mouths open and staring intently, Deadpool throws his hands in the air like he is some sort of sporting hero

" Whut up my peeps? *Deadpool puts his hands on his chest* It's only me Deadpool, some of you might of seen me this morning on TV? Now, I know - " Captain America clears his throat, Deadpool stops and stands to attention

" Citizens please, we mean to cause you no trouble – as you were " Captain America walks over to the vendor

" Excuse us, we would like some ice-cream "

" Uh...Uh yeah... s-sure " Stuttered the vendor, Captain America turned to Deadpool

" Okay Dead-pool! This is on me, what would you like? " Deadpool was relieved because (again!) he had no money

" Really? - Okay! Ummmmm... hmmmmmm... errrhh... triple choc indulgence please " Steve nodded and turned back to face the vendor

" Okay! *points to Deadpool* One of what he said and I would liiike... original vanilla please " The vendor starts to prepare the order

" Come on Cap! Why not have something more... ehh... well you know? *wiggles fingers like a magician* Adventurous! " Captain America turns to Deadpool

" What's wrong with vanilla? " Deadpool face-palms

" Jeez! Hey! Mr. vendor guy! Could you put some sprinkles on that for Captain 'when it comes to food - I take no chances'? " Deadpool finishes with a thumbs up frozen like he was doing an advert, Captain America returns to face vendor and whispers

" _Could you hold the sprinkles?_ " The vendor nods

" H – H - Here you go! Umm... th – th - they're on m - me " The vendor offers, Captain America puts his hand up in a stop position

" Thank you for the gesture citizen, but no! I would like to support my local business by paying - now, how much do I owe you? " Captain America pulls out his wallet, Deadpool turns to You - The Reader, " Where do you suppose he was keeping his wallet? I mean! I don't see any pockets – and why would he carry his wallet around with him anyway? "

" Umm... th - th – that's eight dollars tw-tw-twenty cents* " The vendor stuttered

*note: I am English and have no idea how much ice-cream would cost in America, so it is a guestimation of how much it would cost here in English pounds transferred into American dollars, thank you for your understanding – Cursed Hellion.

" There you are " Captain America gives the vendor the correct money

" Th - Thank you " the vendor said, Captain America gives Deadpool his ice-cream then turns to the vendor, puts two fingers to his head and salutes

" Thank you citizen, Dead-pool, let us take our leave " Captain America and Deadpool leave 'Joe's Frozen Treats', they head back up the fire escape onto the secluded rooftop

" Thanx for the ice-cream Cap, this is AWESOME! " Deadpool tucked into his ice-cream, Captain America smiled

" You're welcome Dead-pool, glad you are enjoying the ice-cream – though I must admit I have an ulterior motive, remember I said we needed a chat? " Asks Captain America

" Ummhum! " Replies Deadpool with a mouthful of ice-cream

" Well, what you did to day is unbefitting of an Avenger, though your intentions were honourable and you made a good point about Mr. Jameson, your methods were... well, a little too extreme " Explains Captain America, Deadpool stops eating and looks at Captain America

" Remember you are part of a team now, things you do have repercussions that effect all of us in the Avengers, so can I ask that you discuss any problems from now on, then we may be able to devise a way of combating it " Deadpool lowers his head slightly

" Okay! " He says like a child being told off, Captain America continues

" Now I know that the Rhino incident was an accident, the fact it was filmed was unfortunate but, what worried me more was the fact you tried to hide what happened * Captain America puts his left hand on Deadpool's shoulder * in the Avengers – it doesn't matter what has happened you need to let us know from now on, do you understand? " Deadpool took a moment before answering

" Yes " Captain America removes his hand from Deadpool's shoulder

" Now - as for punching Mr. Jameson well, we will have to see how that turns out * Captain America shakes his head * I have a feeling it won't be good, although you raised a good point in the fact that Mr. Jameson does try to brainwash the good people of New York, which may help with the repercussions, also, our policy on doing interviews; a) most, if not all, Avengers are to be present b) we only discuss major announcements or events and finally c) 'I' do the talking! Okay! " Captain America said with a sly smile, Deadpool smiles back, Captain America continues

" When a new Avenger joins us officially, we like to do an announcement but, you have already taken care of that "

" I'm sorry! " Apologises Deadpool

" It's okay! * Captain America stares intently at Deadpool * I take it you understand now? "

" Yeah! I gots it " Retorts Deadpool

" Good! Now we have got that out of the way – I just want to say I appreciate the level of loyalty and concern you showed for a fellow Avenger and I don't want you to think I am telling you off for what happened - just to go about things differently in the future, in fact! I am proud of you! " Deadpool beams

" Thanx! " Deadpool starts tucking back into his ice-cream

" I also wanted to ask about you, because from what I was told by Tony it sounded like you have had a hard life, I don't know if you know this but, I too was a soldier – like you, who was tricked by my own countries government * Captain America clenched his fist * but I never gave up belief in my country, I still fight to defend it and stand up for what I believe "

" Of course I know! You're me hero! You're the reason I wanna change, the reason I wanna be an Avenger! " Captain America smiles

" Thank you Dead-pool, I have a feeling you will make a good Avenger - "

" HEY! STOP!... HELP!... HELP THEIF!... SOMEONE HELP! " Both Captain America and Deadpool leapt to their feet, they saw a young man around twenty running down the street with a mature women following, shouting for help, Captain America adopts a heroic pose

" Come Dead-pool! We must help "

" Huh? Isn't this more of a job for the boys in blue? " Captain America throws Deadpool a stern look

" Deadpool! Someone needs our help - now! " Deadpool motioned for Captain America to calm down

" Okay – Okay! I was joking! " Captain America motioned for Deadpool to follow as he leapt to the street, Deadpool scratched his head

" Y-eah! I'm gonna use the fire escape " Deadpool mumbles to himself as he ran down the fire escape and tried to catch up to Captain America who, was just passing the thief, Captain America then stood in front of the thief, blocking the sidewalk, the thief stumbled as he caught sight of Captain America

" Halt! " The thief stood paralysed with surprise, seconds later Deadpool appeared from behind the thief and stood next to Captain America, breathing heavily

" Son, what do you think you are doing? " The thief blinked a couple of times in disbelief and tried to answer

" Urhmm... I – I... "

" What do you think your parents would say if they saw you now? Your actions will have an effect on them! Have you even considered that? And what about the lady who's handbag you stole? You may have made her scared of ever walking out in the city again? " Deadpool motions shooting himself in the head, the thief smiles

" You think this funny? " Snaps Captain America, the thief stops smiling

" Wha... I... ehh... " Captain America shakes his head in dissapointment

" Whatever the problem is? Stealing is NOT the answer, now return the bag – apologise and no more will be said about it "

" A–a-are you s-s-serious? " Stuttered the thief

" Extremely! * Captain America turned his back on the thief * Please understand that I only want to help! " The thief looked around perplexed

" You are young, you do not want to be in prison, or end up on the wrong side of the Avengers - " Deadpool half put his hand up

" Errh? Cap " Captain America frowned at Deadpool and motioned for him to be quiet

" There is still time to fix this just - " Deadpool starts pointing urgently for Captain America to turn around

" No seriously Cap! "

" Dead-pool! Please! "

" But Cap! Your talking to no-one! "

" What? " Captain America turned round to see the thief running down the street

" Unbelievable! The youth of today " Captain America shook his head whilst removing is shield from his back, he crouched low and pulled back his arm

" CITIZENS! PLEASE MOVE! " People moved out of the way leaving a clear path in which Captain America threw his shield towards the thief

BHAAAMM!

The shield took out the thief's legs, the thief hit the ground hard! Captain America and Deadpool ran towards the thief, the people cheered and applauded, Captain America and Deadpool stand over the thief who tries to get up

" Errghh! " Deadpool places a foot on the thief's chest pinning him to the ground, Captain America picks up his shield and the handbag

" Now really, what did you 'think' was gonna happen? Huh? " Questions Deadpool

" Son! Did you really think you would get away? " Echoes Captain America

" Errhh! " Groans the thief

" What's that? You're sorry! Too late for you bub! " Deadpool whips out his guns and aims them at the thief's head

" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Please? Don't do it! " The thief begs

" Why NOT? I didn't get to finish my triple choc indulgence ice-cream because of YOU! "

" DEAD-POOL! " Shouts Captain America

" What? I'm just messing with him * Deadpool leans in close to the thief and whispers * _consider yourself lucky, next time I won't go so easy on ya, besides, it woulda been less painful to just let him finish his speech, I mean, now i'm gonna have to deal with him and when he doesn't get to finish his speeches he -_ "

" DEAD-POOL! " Deadpool jumps with fright

" Could you let him up now please? " Deadpool nods, holsters his guns and removes his foot from the thief's chest

Just then, the woman who's handbag was stolen turns the corner – with a couple of police in tow, everyone stops for a moment before

" OOOOOHH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! " Squealed the woman who ran, with her arms out, towards Captain America, he took a step back, she wrapped her arms around Captain America

" Thank you so much! " Tears of joy rolled down her face

" Errh! Your welcome madam " Said Captain America, Deadpool thought she was over reacting a little, the thief began dusting himself off only to be man handled by the police who handcuffed him

" Hey! No love for the new guy? " Deadpool threw open his arms, the woman gave Deadpool a blank look, Deadpool dropped his arms and head in defeat, the woman addressed Captain America

" Thank you SO much! This handbag means SO much to me, I didn't care about the money, I just didn't want to lose the bag "

" Then I am glad to be of assistance madam " Captain America managed to escape the woman's clutches, Deadpool was intrigued and decided to ask about the handbag

" Why? Why is that handbag so important? "

" Dead-pool! " Snapped Captain America

" No! It's okay! This bag... it – it belonged to my mother... she died a few years ago and – well, it was her favourite bag and I feel close to her when I have it " The woman hugged the bag close to her chest, Captain America put his hand on the woman's shoulder to comfort her

" I truly am sorry! For both your loss and my colleagues intrusiveness " The police pulled the thief to his feet

" Thank you again " Said the woman, the police started putting the thief in the back of the patrol car

" Come on you little - " Muttered one of the officers

" Officers – please... go easy on him " Said Captain America, the officers nodded, Deadpool addressed Captain America

" Really? Even though he ignored you and ran away? "

" He is misguided, he needs help - not punishment " The patrol car pulls away, Deadpool and Captain America say goodbye to the woman, who says thank you one last time, they return to the Quinnjet and head back towards Avengers Tower.

Next Time:

_Deadpool And Spider-man: Birth Of The Motor Mouths?_


	7. Deadpool: Birth of the Motor Mouths?

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 7

Deadpool And Spider-man: Birth Of The Motor Mouths?

_Note: Sorry it's been so long for this chapter, no excuses other than I'm easily distracted – find it hard to just sit and write._

_Enjoy!_

_- Cursed Hellion_

Warning! Contains content which may offend some people, not intentional I assure you.  
>- Cursed Hellion<p>

Avenger Tower.

Steve and Deadpool return to the tower, as they leave the Quinnjet hanger they are greeted by Jarvis

" Afternoon Sir, Master Deadpool – would you like any lunch or something to drink? " Steve nodded

" A coffee would be great thank you Jarvis " Deadpool started counting on his fingers

" Okay! I would like a chocolate shake, a stack of pancakes and a whole lotta chocolate sauce! " Deadpool said facetiously, Steve gave him a 'look'

" Very well! " Replied Jarvis, Deadpool recoiled

" Huh! Wow! You actually gonna do that for me? " Deadpool said surprised

" Of course Master Deadpool " Jarvis said bowing his head

" AWESOME! " Deadpool said punching the air jubilantly, Jarvis headed off to the kitchen, Steve and Deadpool followed – Deadpool leaned in close to Steve

" Hey – Cap, does Jarvis do 'anything' you ask him to? 'cause I kinda thought he was Tony's " Steve smiled

" Heh - within reason, he is proud to serve anyone involved with the Avengers, his words not mine I hasten to add! " Explained Steve

" Oh! " Deadpool shrugged then went and made himself comfortable in front of the TV, Steve followed Jarvis into the kitchen

" Jarvis, is Tony around? I would like a word " Asked Steve

" Master Stark is tinkering in his lab Sir, should I bring the coffee to you there? " Jarvis offered

" Thank you, that would be most appreciated " Steve headed down towards Tony's lab, upon entering he heard gunfire, he crouched low shouting

" TONY?... TONY! " Steve crouched down into cover, Tony stopped shooting, pulled his ear guards down and looked around. Thinking he was imagining things he shrugged and carried on shooting

" TONY!... TONY! " Tony stopped again swearing he heard something, then he noticed a blue and white arm with a red glove poking out from a table

" STEVE? IS THAT YOU? " Tony says whilst putting the gun down

" Yes! It is me Tony; what is going on here? " Steve said whilst rising to his feet

" Just testing a new weapon for Deadpool " Tony replied casually

" A weapon for Dead-pool? " Steve said raising an eyebrow

" Yeah! Pete said something that got me thinking, he said that now Deadpool was an Avenger he really shouldn't be carrying guns – so I thought I'd make some non-lethal guns " Steve nodded

" That's a good idea! " Tony smiled

" Yeah, that's what I thought, I'm hoping to make them multi-functional, kind of like Clint's arrows " Tony picks up the gun to show Steve

" Hopefully that will prove useful - I had to stop Dead-pool from using his guns while we were out, I wasn't sure if he would actually shoot the kid or just use them to intimidate him? But, I would feel better if he didn't have them. That is the reason I came down here, I wanted to talk to you about his guns but, it looks like Peter beat me to it " Steve inspects the gun before handing it back to Tony

" Well, I hope to have a prototype ready in a couple of hours - just working out the kinks " Tony said waving the gun around, Jarvis walks in and nearly gets clocked with the gun

" AAAAAAAHHHHHH! " Jarvis drops the coffee

" Wooowah! Sorry Jarvis! " Tony says, putting the gun down

" I shall get you another coffee Sir " Jarvis bows to Steve

" Thank you Jarvis " Jarvis shakily heads back to the kitchen, Steve looks at Tony

" What? I said sorry " Steve shakes his head and leaves the lab

" So?... I'll clean up the mess then huh? " Tony starts to mop up the coffee with his lab jacket.

Meanwhile. Wolverine was wandering the streets of New York contemplating spending some time back at Xavier's school for gifted youngsters, Deadpool was getting to him, especially after the interview he did, Wolverine was now receiving stares, chuckles and comments about his 'relationship' with Deadpool, he needed a break or Deadpool dead!

Just then, he spied something in the corner of his eye, it was a gang running into an alleyway.

Wolverine followed and counted five of them counting money and boasting about how they finally did it, finally robbed a store, unfortunately for them Wolverine was having a bad day, he leapt out

" Ahlrite bubs, time ta giv' back tha money! " They froze for a second before laughing

" Whut tha? HEY! DON'T LAFF AT ME! " Shouted Wolverine, they started to compose themselves

" Hey D! Hahaha tis fool thinks us scared of 'im haha "

" Yeah hahahah ah know G, dats whuts so funny " Wolverine unseathed his adamatium claws

" Ya think 'this' *motioning his claws* funny? " The gang pulled out their pistols, one of them addressed Wolverine

" 'Ah' think it's time ya left! "

" Yeah, wouldn't wanna get you in trouble with your 'boyfriend' Deadpool hahahaah " They all broke out laughing, Wolverine started shaking with rage,

" GRRRRRRAAAAAHHH! " One of them stopped laughing as he noticed Wolverine shaking with rage

" 'Oh no' I think he's getting ready to strike! " He said pointing urgently towards Wolverine

" Chill, he ain't gunna do anythin' - but tell us our shoes don't match our shirts or summin' faggoty like dat, hahahah " Suddenly he was the only one laughing

" Bub, ya reeeelee shouldna said that! " All the other members of the gang slowly took a couple of steps away from the guy that made the comment, Wolverine proceeded to leap onto the guy and thrust deeply inside him over and over again before realizing he maybe killing him, the others started firing their guns, Wolverine was unaffected and started to strike down the rest of the gang, careful not to kill them.

With the rest of the gang down he returned to the guy who had made the comment and placed his right claws near the guys crotch, the guy's eyes widened

" Nnnnoo... pppuhleese... Imma - Imma sorry man " A sinister smile crept upon Wolverine's face

" Sorry ain't gonna cut it bub " Wolverine stood up

" What? Come on man? Ah was jus' talkin' big " Wolverine lifted up his foot

" NOOOOOO! " He proceed to drive his heel extremely hard into the guys groin

" ! " The guy screamed a scream that sent a shiver down even Wolverine's spine, he thought, for just a second, that he 'may' of gone a little too far. The guy was quivering and twitching, Wolverine crouched down and said to the guy

" Ah buhlieve tha accepted term is 'gay', not that ah am! " The guy passed out, Wolverine looked around and realized they needed medical attention, he called for an ambulance and the police, he then collected up the money and left it ready for the police to retrieve.

Wolverine watched from the shadows as the ambulance and police arrived and made sure things were okay before leaving. Wolverine thought it best to avoid going back to Avengers Tower for awhile so, decided to hide out at a bar.

Back at the Avengers Tower. A couple of hours have passed since Wolverine's ordeal. Deadpool is taking a not so well deserved nap in the living room with the TV playing in the background, Steve is sitting in his favourite chair contemplating and Tony is still tinkering in his lab.

" News just in! A group of young men were viciously attacked today. Information is limited at the moment, no news on who or what attacked them but, injuries sustained by the young men are confirmed to be claw marks. Over to Rob Flynn for more " Steve stopped his contemplating and took an interest in the news

" Thank you Lauren, I'm here at New York's, City Hospital, where, a couple of hours ago, five young men were rushed in, one of them needing major surgery for a *he winces* ruptured testicle " Steve also winces upon hearing the news

" The other young men suffered claw scratches and puncture wounds, they need to stay in over night for observation and with all being well, should be able to return home tomorrow. The police are looking for any information on the matter as the young men, have so far, refused to make any statement. The police are also appealing to whom ever made the phone call to the Emergency services, they urge you to come forward to help with their enquiries " Steve was bemused at what he heard, he thought to himself

" What would scare them enough not to say anything? Do we have a new adversary to worry about? " Before he could finish his thought the news caught his attention again

" Oh! Bare with me, there seems to be some sort of, commotion... the police they... it – it seems the police have found out something... " Just then Tony walked in

" STEVE! I've done it! I've fina- " Steve motioned for him to be quiet

" Watch this! *points at T.V* I'll fill you in later " Tony squeezes himself onto the couch next to the sleeping Deadpool

" Wow, it appears the young men are, are part of a gang... _what's that_ …. the police have had a call from a store owner who says he was robbed earlier by these men, apparently he recognized them from some of the images we've shown... _really?_... _okay!_ The police have stated that a large sum of money was found at the scene of the attack that had them confused, now it is believed the young men robbed a store and then may have been attacked by some so called hero... if that is the case... the police would like the attacker to come forward as the injuries these men have sustained are - extreme " Tony looks at Steve, who, is intently watching the T.V, Deadpool stirs

" _Hmmmrrh... no MJ, Pete won't mind... hhhhrrrhhmmmm_ " Tony shakes his head in bemusement and continues to watch the news

" ... _what's that_... I have just been informed that the guy with a *he winces* ruptured testicle has said something as he woke from his operation, I quote; " the accepted term is gay ", not sure what that means? More on this later, I'm Rob Flynn, back to you Lauren "

" Thank you Rob, the numbers to call if you have any information are on screen now " Tony turns to Steve

" So what exactly have I missed? " Steve places a hand on his chin and looks out a nearby window

" Five young men were administered to hospital with grave wounds resembling claw marks, one suffered a ruptured testicle *Tony and Steve winced* they have no leads on who or what did it, then you saw the rest " Tony checks on Deadpool who was stirring, then continued

" So? A gang, rob a store, get caught by a wannabe hero and are badly injured? "

" It would seem so " Steve stood up to look out of the window with hands behind his back

" What is it Steve? " Asked Tony, Steve sighed

" I'm not sure? I have a nagging feeling, the claw marks and a vicious assault... I... I know only a handful of people capable of such violence, and only a couple of them have claws and only one of them is considered a hero "

" You don't mean? " Steve looks over his shoulder at Tony

" Where is Logan? "

" He went out after the morning news "

" And no-one has seen him since? We must find him – now " Steve headed towards the Quinnjet hanger

" I'll catch up! " Said Tony, Steve nodded and carried on, Tony shook Deadpool lightly

" _Hhhhhhhhrrrrrmmmmm... hey Pete join us... hhhrrrmmm_ " Tony shook Deadpool again, this time a little harder

" _Hhhhhhhrrrrrrrmmmmm... Pete it was MJ's idea honest... uuurrrrmmmmhhh_ " Tony decides to violently shake Deadpool

" WOOWAH! What the hell dude? " Deadpool repositioned himself in a sitting position

" Sorry, but, I need to talk to you "

" O-kay? "

" It's about your guns "

" My Guns? "

" Yes, you are an Avenger now, so having guns is a little too... villainous " Deadpool leapt to his feet

" WHAT? But you have laser beams *motions Iron man's palm disruptor beams* and Wolverine has adamantium claws *swipes the air like Wolverine* "

" I know, I know but, I can't exactly get rid of Logan's weapons, you can keep your katanas but, I've modified your guns and I think you'll like what I've done " Tony shows Deadpool the guns

" See! You press this for tranqs, this for nerve pulse which paralyses a person for around 20 seconds, this is for rubber bullets, you also have laser guided sight and scope " Deadpool inspects the guns

" AWESOME! " Tony smiles

" I knew you'd like them "

" You're the best Tony " Deadpool hugs Tony

" Okay? Thanks is good enough " Deadpool releases Tony

" So? When do I get a cool suit like Pete's? "

" Errh? See how you fare with the guns first, then we'll talk about a suit " Deadpool nods and proceeds to pose and play act fighting with his guns, for some reason, Deadpool's excitement over getting the guns resembled a kid on Christmas, which gave Tony a funny feeling that felt like a Dad on Christmas, happy because his son is happy, Tony shuddered and quickly went to his lab to suit up and join Steve in his hunt for Logan.

Evening. Spider-man was scanning the city whilst enjoying the cool evening air.

(internal monologue) " Man! It sure is a nice night, I would love to be enjoying it with MJ right now, buuuut? Knowing the way my life goes - something is bound to happen, sometimes, I wish I wasn't Spider-man - or at least have a day off... Hahahahahaah who am I kidding? I LOVE being Spider-man " Spider-man spins a web line and swings through the city resting on a water tower (internal monologue) " Being Spider-man is cool, I mean not many people can swing from building to building through New York, I can go anywhere, anytime I want. Although now, thanks to Deadpool, I'm getting laughed at more than usual, I needed to do something Amazing! Astounding! Spectacular! to help people forget. Come on! One of you super-powered freaks must be up to something?... where's a super-powered villain when you need one? Maybe I could call Taskmaster and organise a 'job'... Naaahh, then ol' JJ would be right about me and if he found out that would make things worse... hmmmmmm " Spider-man spun a web and swung through the city some more doing acrobatic jumps, dives and spins before settling on a rooftop (internal monologue) " Maybe nothing is gonna happen tonight? Maybe I can chill with MJ?... Yeah right! Nope! Pete, you're doomed to a lifetime of pain, suffering, long hours, low pay, madness and lots of guilt! Well, unless I die in some battle with an arch nemesis!... I really need to see someone about this whole talking to myself business "

" I agree! "

" Huh! " Spider-man turns round to see Deadpool waving at him

" Only lil' ol' me! " Spider-man freezes for a moment contemplating how Deadpool had heard his thoughts and how he found him?

" HOW? WHY? *looks up at sky* You're punishing me aren't you? " Deadpool looks up at the sky following Spider-man's eyeline trying to find what he is looking at

" Who are you talking to? " Spider-man looks at floor

" … No-one - I guess "

" And people think 'I'M' crazy, jeez! " Spider-man looks at Deadpool

" What do you want huh? To knock me out again? To embarrass me? " Deadpool puts his hands out to motion Spider-man to back off

" Woah! Pete I thought we were good now? "

" Yeah, we are - sorta " Spider-man turns away from Deadpool

" What does that mean? " Spider-man gazes over the city

" Well, when people stop teasing me about being your 'boyfriend' and laughing at the Rhino incident THEN! We'll be good! "

" GREAT! That's why I'm here! " Spider-man looks over his shoulder slightly

" 'Really' and how are 'you' gonna fix this? "

" I've organized a little gathering of actors to play bad guys so we can make you look AWESOME again "

" NO! "

" Huh? But I - " Spider-man turns to face Deadpool

" No! If J.J found out I took part in an 'organized' bust that would be it for me! Thanks for the thought but, I have to do something legit "

" Oh!... Excuse me a moment " Deadpool pulls a cellphone from his utility belt, turns his back to Spider-man and makes a call

" _Errh, the plans off... yeah... no!... it's a no go, repeat, it's a no go... Spider-man doesn't want to... I know, I know... come on don't be like that... PAY YOU! I never said I'd pay you! _" Deadpool quickly hangs up and turns to face Spider-man

" Heh! *Deadpool rubs the back of his neck* Sorry 'bout that, so? How do we unembarrass you? "

" You know that's not a word right? And, I'm not sure what to do? "

" So? We gonna wait around for something to happen again? " Deadpool says throwing a nonchalant shrug

" Well with 'you' here! Something is 'bound' to happen " Deadpool recoils

" WHAT? Are you implying *points to himself* I'm a magnet for trouble or something? " Spider-man folds his arms

" More than implying, trouble seems to follow you around "

" We catch you girls at a bad time? " Two guys wearing balaclavas were standing by the fire escape

" Huh? " Both Deadpool and Spider-man looked at the masked guys then at each other

" You know these dudes? " Asked Deadpool, Spider-man puts a hand on his chin

" Errrmmm... can't say I do " Spider-man said shaking his head

" Sorry to intrude on your lovers tiff but, we have some business with Deadpool " Deadpool points at himself

" Me? "

" Yeah! Mr. Jameson's put a bounty on your head and we're here to collect " Said one of the masked guys

" Yeah! " Said the other guy

" Jameson? Why would he put a bounty on 'my' head? " Deadpool said bemused

" 'Oh I don't know?' Maybe because you punched him in the face... TWICE! SEE THIS! *Spider-man points downwards in front of himself* THIS! Is what I'm talking about! If you hadn't of showed up here, I wouldn't have to deal with this *he motions towards the masked guys* but now, you've got me *points at himself with both hands* involved in 'your' *points at Deadpool with one hand* problems "

" Cap said we were a team now "

" So why don't you call Cap and Iron Man to help you? "

" Errrh! Hello? Are we invisible or something? " Said one of the masked men

" But I wanted to help you! How was 'I' to know a bounty would be put on my head " Pleads Deadpool

" That's the problem, you don't 'think' *points to head* - you just 'do' "

" Well, fine! You stay out of this and let 'me' deal with these chumps " The masked men were getting aggravated at being ignored

" LOOK! STOP IGNORING US! " Shouted the same masked guy who spoke last time, Deadpool and Spider-man look at the masked guys

" Woowah! Wait your turn, I promise I'll kick your butts in a minute " Deadpool stated

" Okay! You take care of them on your own " Said Spider-man

" I will and – and don't you dare try to help " Challenged Deadpool, the bad guys decided enough was enough and charged towards Spider-man and Deadpool. Deadpool and Spider-man easily move out the way, the two guys fall over the side of the building. Deadpool and Spider-man stand at the buildings edge to see the two guys holding on to a ledge slightly lower down, Deadpool turns to Spider-man

" So? Wanna go grab a drink or something? "

" Sounds good " Spider-man replies

" W-W-WHAT? Y-you can't leave us here like this " Said the lead masked guy

" Yeah! " Replied the other masked guy

" Sure we can! Can't we? " Asks Deadpool

" No we can't! We're heroes remember? We have to help idiots like this "

" Awww man! But – but they want to hand me over to JJ " Deadpool says trying to convince Spider-man, Spider-man places a hand on Deadpool's shoulder

" I know, I know but, it's our heroic duty to save those that need saving - believe me! I've had to save people I'd rather not have. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility "

" Wow, that's cheesy, even for you " Spider-man playfully shoves Deadpool

" Come on already! Help us up! " Pleads the lead masked man

" You're in no position to tell us what to do! " Deadpool says wagging his finger

" But my arms are aching "

" Oh! " Deadpool and Spider-man help the two guys up

" FOOLS! " The two guys try a surprise attack, Deadpool and Spider-man again dodge the incoming attack, Spider-man lands in a crouched position

" Allow me to introduce myself; I'm the Amazing Spider-man, I have a well documented 'spider-sense' that allows me to know when you're about to attack! So? Think about how this is gonna end " Deadpool seeing Spider-man's cool pose decides to strikes a pose of his own

" Hi! I'm Deadpool, ummm I have a not so documented 'assassin's-sense' that's helped me survive a lot of fights " Spider-man looks over at Deadpool

" 'assassin's-sense'? Really? "

" What? " Shrugs Deadpool

" Riiiiiiight? So surviving this long has 'nothing' to do with your healing ability then? "

" Oh! And that " The masked men are readying for attack

" So boys? How do you plan to take out a guy who knows when your attacks are coming and a guy who can survive any attack you throw at him? " Questions Spider-man, the lead mask man replies

" Well, we weren't expecting you here but, after what Deadpool said this morning I guess we shoulda huh? We only really want Deadpool " Explains the lead masked man

" Okay! Fine! I'll just watch, if you remember I said I wouldn't get involved, but, that was before you attacked me so, as long as you don't attack me, I'll stay out of this fight " Offers Spider-man

" Really? " The lead masked guy said in disbelief

" Yep! " Replied Spider-man

" You're joking! Right? " Inquires Deadpool

" Nope! You told me not to get involved " Replies Spider-man

" Awww come on! I thought that was just talk " Pleads Deadpool

" Nope! Besides, I wanna see this 'assassin's sense' in action " Deadpool mumbled before readying himself, Spider-man gets himself comfortable before asking

" Oh! Out of interest, how 'do' you plan on combating Deadpool's accelerated healing ability? "

" What? "

" You did know he has an accelerated healing ability right? "

" ... " Both of the masked men stay silent

" Oh brother! " Spider-man facepalms, the other masked man turns to the lead masked man

" Maybe we should reconsider, you said he was some sorta mercenary that we could take out with the right moves, but, what if he's a... a - mutant? " The lead masked man pinches the top of his nose

" Ahh, to hell with it, we 'need' that money " He charged towards Deadpool calling out numbers, although Deadpool wasn't all that familiar with American football, he was pretty sure the guy was shouting audibles, not that he could decode them anyway. The guy came in low Deadpool proceeded to stamp on the guy's head and launch himself high in the air

" Oh yeah! Eat roof! " Said Deadpool

" Eat roof? " Spider-man shakes his head, Deadpool noticed the other guy and aimed towards him legs outstretched

" SUPER ASSASSIN'S HEAVEN KICK! " Deadpool lands the kick in the guy's chest sending him flying, Deadpool landed on his hands and knees but, quickly got to his feet, the guy who had faceplanted the roof was spitting out dirt and caught sight of Deadpool, the other guy also got up clutching his chest.

BANG!

Gunfire!

They looked towards the sound to see a shadow of a person, the person walked into the light and said

" I've seen enough! " The lead masked man's eyes widened with fear

" Errh – th-th-that's... let's get outta here! " The two masked men legged it down the fire escape, Deadpool looked over to the person

" FRANK! Buddy! " Deadpool threw his arms open for a hug as he approached

" ... " Deadpool stops walking and puts his arms down

" Frank?... what's wrong? " Frank Castle aka The Punisher pointed his guns at Deadpool, Deadpool put his hands up

" ... Frank? " Spider-man lands next to Deadpool and demands

" Frank! What's going on? " Punisher glares at him

" ... I'm here for the bounty " He replies coldly

" WHAT? " Squeals Deadpool

" You're not serious? " Spider-man says already knowing the answer but, hopeful he's wrong

" I'm always serious " Replied Punisher, Spider-man shakes his head in disbelief

" Deadpool, you 'seriously' need to re-evaluate who you consider a friend, so far, your 'buddy' Logan has tried to kill you and your 'buddy' Frank here, well, he wants to claim the bounty on your head " Deadpool doesn't know what to say or do, Punisher speaks

" Spider-man I know you and I haven't seen eye to eye, heh, in fact you pretty much dislike me but, this does not concern you so, please, leave us – I don't care what you tell the Avengers but, don't bring them after me " Spider-man scratches his head

" Let's think about that for a sec... So A, I leave here and tell the Avengers a story to cover this as long as I don't name you and effectively leave Deadpool to the sharks OR, B, stand and fight for a guy who has caused me nothing but grief – hmmmmm choices, choices, choices "

" And if you choose to fight, I won't go easy on ya " Deadpool speaks up after being unusually quiet, he addresses Spider-man

" It's okay, you can go if you want – after all this isn't your problem right? I'm just trouble, I don't want to burden you with this, tell the Avengers that you haven't seen me and if I beat Frank, I'll quit being an Avenger, that way you won't have anymore trouble " Spider-man felt a bit odd upon hearing his own words used, Deadpool continued

" Pete-urh Spider-man you've been good to me "

" No I haven't! In fact, I've been a bit of jerk "

" We've shared a few laughs and a few arguments but you always looked out for me, you're like – like the older brother I never had and – and to repay your kindness and the fact you've put up with me, I am not gonna drag you into this fight " Spider-man was speechless, he didn't know if Deadpool was serious or not, but, Deadpool sounded like he was sincere

" Sure, Cap' is my hero an all but, you, you're my idol dude! You and Cap' are the reason I wanna be an Avenger, I mean, I've read your comics and seen your trilogy of movies, I've even seen the various cartoon shows – in a word... you're AWESOME! " Spider-man was a little overwhelmed and confused about the comics, movies and cartoons stuff, he felt like a big guilty jerk

" Deadpool I – I had no idea you felt like that "

" Really? Why do think I always wanna hang around with you? "

" I – I don't know, I thought it was strange you appearing around me regularly but... " The Punisher sighed

" Oh for FUCK sake! Would you two pussies cut it out already – it's crap like that! That has people believing your gay, huuu Jesus " Spider-man wrestled against his conscience and his better judgement, Deadpool readied himself for combat

" Alright Frankie boy time for me to 'punish' you! "

" Heh lame - besides, you can't beat me on your own " Punisher taunts

" Oh yeah! I've spent a lot of my life alone, had many fights alone – I've survived this long alone, this time will be no different - " Deadpool felt a hand on his shoulder

" You're not alone – not this time " Deadpool looked round

" Really? You mean it? " He said in delight, Spidey* nodded

_* Okay! I'm going to start using 'Spidey' instead of Spider-man from now on._

_- Cursed Hellion_

" Against my better judgement, yeah! " The Punisher shook his head

" Big mistake Spider-boy "

" Spider-boy? Oh, it's on now! " Punisher threw a smoke bomb at Deadpool and Spidey

" Ha! Not gonna work Frank! Tony installed air filters in this suits mask " Mocked Spidey

" _cough cough choke cough_ wish 'I' had _cough_ air filters " Spluttered Deadpool, Spidey's spider-sense went off, but, not as effectively as usual, suddenly an object flew towards him, Spidey managed to dodge it in the knick of time. Spidey looked at where the object landed and noticed it was a knife

" HEY! Deadpool's the one with the healing ability! " Spidey then remembered that his suit was blade and bullet proof

(internal monologue) " Man, this is surreal! Why? I mean, what is it about Deadpool that makes people he considers friends betray him? He considers 'me' a friend and I've been a jerk to him since he joined. How do end I up in these situations? "

Spidey was broken out of his monologue by Deadpool shouting

" ASSASSIN'S STEALTH STRIKE! "

" Hey Deadpool! If you're gonna announce the fact your attacking it's not very 'stealth' is it? " The smoke was still making it difficult to see clearly Spidey kept low relying on his spider-sense, then he caught a glimpse of a shadow and shot both webs at it and pulled hard

" WOOOAAAAAAAAHH! " Deadpool came flying out of the smoke

" Dude! What the hell? "

" Sorry, I thought you were Frank " Spidey's spider-sense went off again, Punisher fired his machine pistols at random

" STAY DOWN! " Spidey covered Deadpool and took a couple of hits in the back, but, due to his suits bulletproof abilities he was unaffected

" Dude! You know I can survive bullets! But the sentiment is appreciated, thanx " The smoke was clearing, Punisher spotted the silhouettes of Spidey and Deadpool and took the chances to throw two stun grenades at them. Spidey's spider-sense went off again, he saw the grenades coming and web-lined them spun them round and released them in Punishers direction

" Aaah shit! " Punisher dived for cover missing the grenades explosion by mere millimetres, Deadpool rushed him, Punisher got to his feet just in time for

" SUPER ASSASSIN'S BARRAGE STRIKE! " Deadpool threw punches and kicks with lightning speed, Punisher was overwhelmed but managed to shoot Deadpool's leg with his shotgun

" AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH! " Deadpool dropped to one knee, Punisher pointed the gun at Deadpool's head

" Survive this! " Spidey leapt towards Punisher shooting his webs, Punisher became wrapped in webs, much to his annoyance

" Okay! Frank the bounty hunter, time for us to go – you okay Deadpool "

" Yeah! It's healing nicely " Deadpool got to his feet and pulled out his katana and placed it to Punisher's neck

" DEADPOOL! What are you doing? " Panicked Spidey

" Give me a reason not to kill you " Punisher sneered at Deadpool

" ... You're an Avenger "

" Crap! "

" Deadpool, come on, let's get out of here " Spidey motioned for Deadpool to follow, Punisher used the opportunity of Deadpool's lapse in concentration to position himself in a way that he could use Deadpool's katana to cut the webbing slightly enabling him to use his strength to break free, he punched Deadpool sending him reeling, Spidey leapt onto Frank

" Looks like Frankie boy needs a spanking " Puisher tried to shoot Spidey, Deadpool composed himself

" Okay! Let's see what the twins can do? " Deadpool pulled out his, modified by Tony, guns nicknamed the twins

" Now, what button did he say produced the nerve pulse? " Spidey took a shotgun blast into the chest, the blast sent him flying, Deadpool meanwhile was pressing all the buttons on his guns unaware Punisher was eyeing him up for a shot

BLAAAM!

Punisher sent a shot at Deadpool, who had decided he was happy with the option on his guns and proceed to strike a pose not realizing he was shot at, Punisher couldn't believe it, if Deadpool hadn't of struck a pose it would of hit him and now Punisher was frantically trying to reload

" ASSASSIN'S BULLETS OF JUSTICE " Deadpool fired doing cartwheels and flips, Spidey froze in horror not realizing Deadpools guns were modified to fire rubber bullets

" Bang! Bang Bang! Bang! Bang Bang Bang! Bang! Take that ya Deadpool wannabe " Punisher flinched and put his hands up to cover his face, Spidey then realized that the bullets weren't deadly after being caught by a few himself

" Rubber bullets? " Spidey thought to himself

" Hey! No use in protecting ya face, ya should done that years ago hahahahahhaah! " Mocked Deadpool

" Shut up! " Snapped Punisher, Spidey webbed Punisher by the ankles and yanked, Punisher fell to the floor, Deadpool started fiddling with his guns again

" When did you start using rubber bullets? " Asked Spidey

" Oh! Tony gave them to me this afternoon *Deadpool waves guns* they can do other stuff too "

" Hmpf! You think rubber bullets are gonna stop me? Jesus, Deadpool, you're an assassin not a hero, you need proper guns " Deadpool aims his guns at Punisher

" Consider this my 'punishment' to you! Beaten by a man with rubber bullets " Punisher threw a grenade at Deadpool

FLAAASH!

" Damn it! I can't see " Punisher tried to get to his feet but Spidey jumped and kicked him in the back

" Oh no you don't! " Spidey landed with his back to Punisher, Punisher tried to sweep Spidey, Spidey flipped over him, Punisher then swung a punch at Spidey

" Ya know! It amazes me how many people forget I have a spider-sense! But, being the intelligent man you are, using smoke bombs and the such to interfere with it, throwing a punch at me makes even Rhino look like a genius! Hahahahhahaa! " Deadpool started recovering from his temporary blindness

" Hahahahahahaa! Yeah! You tell him Spidey "

" ... " Punisher threw a few more punches and kicks, Spidey dodges all of them successfully, he lands on the roofs billboard

" Wow! Mr. Talkalot sorry to interupt you, but you may wanna grab a weapon " Punisher turned round to see Deadpool coming at him

" My turn! ASSASSIN'S FIST OF RESTITUTION! " Deadpool punches Punisher in the chest with a modified straight fist, Punisher was sent flying

" Seriously Deadpool, what's the deal with the ludicrous naming of moves and shouting them out? " Asks Spidey

" Huh? Oh! I've been watching a lot of anime " Deadpool replies casually

" Anime? " Spidey says quizzically

" Don't tell me you don't know what anime is? " Questions Deadpool

" Japanese animation, but, I've never really seen any " Shrugs Spidey

" WHAT? DUDE! *Deadpool recoils shaking his head* You're missing out on so much! "

" 'Really?' " Spidey says crossing his arms unconvinced

" Yeah! It's cool they like have cool names for special martial arts moves *Deadpool throws some punches and kicks* and stuff. They have special abilities, super powers, crazy strong enemies *Deadpool strikes a muscle pose* that they have to overcome – you really need to see it! "

" Sounds stupid!... And unrealistic! " Deadpool addresses you the reader

" Stupid? Unrealistic? Did he not realize I just described his life? Jeez, I swear I'm the only sane one in a mad world! Of course, I look crazy to everyone else, if only they knew the truth, if only ...? "

" Errh, Deadpool "

" Yeah! "

" Who are you talking too? "

" The truth! " Deadpool says pointing to you the reader

" Riiiiiiiight? Say, where's Frank? " Meanwhile Punisher had retreated to the fire escape, a few floors down, where he had left a back-up bag of tricks, including a rocket launcher! Punisher equipped himself with two shotguns strapped to his back, two machine gun pistols, grenades, bullet chain and a pair of tonfa.

" Here Frankie, Frankie, Frankie... I know I left him here somewhere? " Jokes Deadpool looking around the rooftop  
>" Well, keep an eye out, he may be planning an ambush " Spidey says concernedly<p>

" Maybe he gave up? " Shrugged Deadpool

" Unlikely. Does that sound like something Frank would do? "

" No, not really " When Frank was ready he picked up his rocket launcher and made his way to the roof

" Okay boys... It's time to end this! "

" A ROCKET LAUNCHER? Is that really necessary? "

" Heh, you seem to be knife and bulletproof so, let's see you survive this! "

" FRANK! You don't wanna kill me, do you? " Punisher pauses

" ... No, but if you continue to stand in my way I'll have no choice " Deadpool alternates between pointing at the rocket launcher and Punisher's groin

" Say Frank, are you tryin' to compensate for something? Hahahahahaa! " Mocks Deadpool

" ... laugh it up! You two seem to take this as a joke and try to make a fool out of me *points to self with thumb* " Punisher says disgruntled

" I'd say we succeeded in that! Hahahahahaah! " Retorts Deadpool clutching his ribs

" Hmpf - no more! Spider-man last chance to leave, you and I both know Deadpool is a rabid dog that needs to be put down, let me take him out! " Spidey looks at Deadpool

" No! Deadpool's a... a - can't believe I'm saying this, a friend! Besides what about the bounty? How will killing him help? And what about his accelerated healing factor! " Questions Spidey

" Hah! There is a way to beat that... *waves rocket launcher* Incineration! As for the bounty, well, It's dead or alive! " Spider-man recoiled in horror (internal monologue) " Damn! He really intends to kill Deadpool, can't let that happen! Gotta work with Deadpool to take him out, so we can escape hmmmmmm..."

Spidey jumps down near Deadpool and looks at him, nods and starts to move away, Deadpool acknowledges and copies so that they are at either side of Punisher's field of vision (internal monologue) " Wow! Deadpool actually understood – wait! What am I saying? Just 'cause he's a little crazy, doesn't mean he's an idiot! "

Punisher had trouble watching both of them, a few moments of staring pass before Deadpool made a quick dash towards Punisher in turn, giving Spider-man a chance to web the rocket launcher and pull it from Punisher's hand, Deadpool stopped dashing, another stalemate. Punisher whipped out his shotguns and aimed them at Spidey and Deadpool, Deadpool went low while Spidey leapt high in the air, Punisher fired each gun but both shots missed, Spidey came in hard and fast from above kicking him in the head, Deadpool started fiddling with his guns again

" Seriously Deadpool, again? Did you not 'read' the manual? "

" Manual? " Spidey ducks Punisher's attempt at hitting him with a shotgun like a baseball bat

" Jeez... You came out here without knowing how your guns work? " Spidey kicks Punisher in the chest knocking him to the floor

" I only got them today! And like I'd read a manual "

" True, but your assistance would be most welcome " Punisher is growing increasingly angry, he makes his way to the rocket launcher, Deadpool gives the guns a once over

" Okay! Think I got the right setting " Spidey intercepts Punisher and stamps on rocket launcher crushing it

" THINK? You're not filling me with confidence, Oh! And make sure you hit Frank and not – repeat – NOT me! "

" Wouldya let that go already? I have apologised for that, I even punched J.J for you – so if ya think about it, this bounty is kinda your fault "

" WHAAAAAAAT? " Spidey faces Deadpool, Punisher tries to tackle him, Spidey backflips, Punisher ends up hitting the floor, Spidey continues

" How the hell did you come to that conclusion? I didn't say Deadpool old chum, to make up for tranq'ing me, go punch jolly ol' J.J in the face! "

" Not in so many words - "

" Not in ANY words! " States Spidey, Punisher got to his feet and wiped the blood from his mouth

" Don't you two ever SHUT UP? " Spidey and Deadpool looked at each other and answered

" Nope! " Punisher grumbles

" Besides how boring would it be if we were silent? " Asks Spidey

" I'd be fine with that! " Sneers Punisher

" Think about the reader's Frank " Says Deadpool, Punisher frowns

" What? " He says baffled

" He thinks this is some sorta illusion – that we don't exist, merely a figment of someone's imagination " Explains Spidey

" Riiiiiight? " Punisher pulls out his machine pistols

" Okay motor mouths! Prepare for your funerals! "

" Oh! And me without my tux " Spidey jests

" Wait! 'Motor Mouths' we should total call ourselves that! " Says Deadpool thinking about future endevours

" What? No, no way are 'we' having a name " Spidey says folding his arms

" Aww come on! You know you love it! " Pleads Deadpool

" ... What are you guys on? Seriously? I want some! 'cause you seem to take everything as a joke and are quite happy to have an argument with each other in the middle of a fight! It's like you have no care in the world. How do the villains deal with this? AARRRGGHH! I AM THE PUNISHER DAMN IT! " Both Spidey and Deadpool fall silent, stunned at Punisher's uncharacteristic outburst

" You know Deadpool I think that is the most he has said all night? "

" Maybe it's past his bed time? "

" SEE! AAARRRRRGGGGHHH! " Enraged Punisher starts to fire his machine pistols, Spidey takes cover on the billboard, Deadpool takes a few hits while lining up his shot at Punisher's head

" Okay cranky Frankie! Time for a nap! " Deadpool fired his guns, he hit Punisher in the head

" OH YEAH! RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES! DID YOU SEE THAT? " Deadpool asks excitedly

" You know, for an assassin you seem awfully surprised you hit him? " Suddenly Punisher went into spasms

" Huh! That's not what I wanted! That total screws up my line, I wanted tranqs " pouts Deadpool

" Errh! Deadpool? What have you done to Frank? He's like a fish out of water " Spidey jumps down for a closer look

" Hahhahaa! Oh! Well, this must be the nerve pulse something or other " Slowly Punisher stopped spasming, Spidey questioned Deadpool

" What has happened now? "

" Tony said it would paralyse someone for 20secs, never mentioned the spasms "

" And what happens after the 20 seconds? " Deadpool tapped one of the guns on his chin, pretending he was thinking

" ... I don't know?... But it's non-lethal! "

" Good!... That's - That's good... Okay, let's get out of here " (internal monologue) " Just like that it's over and boy! Am I glad that's over! Tony's done a great job with making Deadpool's guns effective and non-lethal. No casualties, no embarrassing mistakes, all in all - a success! Maybe Deadpool isn't so bad after all? I did say I'd give him a chance so – what the hell is he doing now? "

Deadpool walks over to Punisher and looks him in the eyes

" Remember what happened here today! You mess with me, you mess with the Avengers! Bitch! " Spidey shook his head

" Deadpool come on! Before the paralyses wears off " Deadpool looks over at Spidey

" Right! " Deadpool walks over to where Spidey was, Spidey grabs him and spins a web. As Spidey swings through the city he feels a twinge down his right side increasing in pain with each swing. Luckily, Spidey made it back to Avenger's Tower before the pain go too much. Spidey and Deadpool enter the living quarters in high spirits

" Hahahaaah! We sure showed him " Spidey says joyously

" Yeah! I loved it when I hit him with my 'Assassin's fist of Restitution' aaahahahahhahahahah! " Boasts Deadpool

" Arrrhhhuuh man! Think I might of broken a rib "

" From laughing too hard? "

" Hahahaha-arrrgguurrh! Nah, Maybe from that shotgun blast " Spidey and Deadpool head in to the sleeping quarters, Tony and Steve were in the living room

" Errh Steve? Should we be concerned that; A, they are getting on and B, do I want to know what an 'assassin's fist of restitution' is? "

" Relax Tony! I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, in fact be glad that Dead-pool and Spider-man are getting on "

" Hmmm... I guess you're right " Tony said sitting back down, Steve smiled slyly

" Tony, I'm always right hahaha! " They both chuckled before returning to there previous activities.

Next Time: Deadpool in love?

_Note: Me again! Okay! To those of you who follow this and get bored waiting for me to do my chapters, which currently come every month, would you prefer me to cut the chapters down in size so you have something to read every week or two? Feedback on this would be appreciated.  
>Thanx to anyone who reads this story and again sorry it takes me so long!<br>- Cursed Hellion_


	8. Deadpool in love?

**AVENGERS®  
>Deadpool©<strong>

Chapter 8  
>Deadpool in Love?<p>

Morning. Deadpool awoke and headed into his favourite room – the TV room. He sat down and put the TV on, yawned - stretched and felt like he was being watched. He slowly looked to his left to see Tony and Spider-woman staring at him

" ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! " Deadpool leapt up out of the sofa and frantically pointed at Spider-woman, Pete rushed in from the kitchen

" S-S-SUPER SKRULL! " Pete and Tony glanced at Spider-woman then at Deadpool flummoxed

" What are you talking about? " Tony asked panicked, Spider-woman looked sheepish and kept looking around for an exit

" S-s-she's... she's a super skrull " Exclaimed Deadpool, Steve walks in massaging his forehead

" What's goin- oh!... I see you've met Deadpool Ms Drew "

" Cap! Cap! She's a super skrull " Deadpool tries convincing Steve, Steve puts out his hands motioning for Deadpool to stop

" Calm Down! What is this nonsense about a super skrull? " Everyone was bemused, Pete saw that Spider-woman was looking uncomfortable, Steve and Tony were getting ready to defend Spider-woman from attack and thinking quickly speaks up

" Haahahahahaa! Deadpool you joker, hahaha *_points at Spider-__woman _* he got you didn't he? " Everyone relaxes a little, Deadpool is now the one who is confused

" ...? Wha-t?... " Deadpool mutters, Pete addresses Spider-woman and continues

" Sorry about Deadpool, he is a little *_motions crazy with a rotating finger to the side of the head_* please forgive his sense of humour " Steve and Tony look at each other, Steve shakes his head

" Dead-pool I don't think I will ever understand your humour " Everyone is now relaxing, except Deadpool who is standing there completely bewildered

" What's going on? Don't you... wait! Have you signed the hero registration act thingy? " They all look at Deadpool, Tony replies

" No not yet, there are talks, it hasn't been decided yet – wait! How do you know of it? "

" Errrh! Not important!... _So it hasn't happened yet... man... well that's just great!... gotta stop reading ahead... _Oh! Forget everything I said from the last few minutes, okay? But, remember when it happens, Deadpool did tell ya first " Deadpool sat back down and carried on watching TV

" O-kay? Anyone else worried? " Said Pete

" Well that was... strange, even for Deadpool " Added Tony

" Yeah! Although...? " Pete pondered

" Although what? " Inquired Tony

" Ahh it's nothing " Responded Pete

" If you say so, anyway, Steve, I was asking Jess here if she could use her shield contacts to help in the search for Logan " Stated Tony

" Good idea Tony " Praised Steve

" Wait! Logan's missing? " Inquired Pete

" Not sure, we are concerned for him " Replied Tony

" Hahahaha... concerned... hahaha... for Logan... hahahah... I think he is more than capable of looking after himself " Pete mocked

" That maybe, but, we would like you and Dead-pool to team up and look for him " Said Steve

" What? " Pete said worried

" Not a problem is it? After all you two seemed like you were getting on pretty well last night " Tony said with a wry smile

" Oh that! We just survived a run-in with Punisher " Pete said casually

" The Punisher? " Tony and Steve said simultaneously shocked

" Yeah, we survived thanks to your *_motions at Tony_* guns, also, it seems ol' J.J has put a bounty on Deadpool's head, soooo, I thought it best for him to lie low for awhile " Pete said with a hopeful smile, Steve and Tony looked at each other

" Look! We will deal with this bounty nonsense, you take Deadpool out to look for Logan " Ordered Steve

" But - " Pete tried to persuade Steve, Steve threw him is infamous stern look

" Understood? " Steve said with authority

" Yes sir " Pete said defeated, Steve turned his attention to Spider-woman

" Ms Drew accept my apology for Deadpool's behaviour, hopefully he hasn't caused you too much distress? " Spider-woman shook her head

" No, it's okay, I'll go see what shield can do for you "

" Thank you " Said Steve, Spider-woman leaves, Pete sits next to Deadpool

" Arrruuahh " Pete grabs his ribs

" Your rib still broken? " Deadpool asks casually

" Actually it seems to be only bruised not broken – thanks for asking, anyway, look, we have to team-up to look for Logan, I know! I tried to tell Steve but, he wouldn't listen, but, if we do find Logan I'm not exactly sure you are the right person, you know, the fact he tried to kill you and all "

" He likes me really, we were just playing " Pete shakes his head in disbelief

" Playing? Riiiight? Think you maybe a little delusional, anyway, I'm gonna suit up, kiss my lovely wife and be back to go look for Logan " Pete gets up

" Gimme 15mins would ya, my show isn't quite finished yet " Said Deadpool, Pete shakes his head and walks off.

Pete returns awhile later to see the living room empty

" ... Huh? DEADPOOL! DEADPOOL! Where the hell is he? " Pete looks in the kitchen and finds Jarvis

" Yo Jarvis, you seen Deadpool? "

" Master Deadpool? Not since yesterday, sorry "

" No worries, where is that idiot? " Suddenly Deadpool appeared in the living room with a bag of shopping

" What the hell? " Deadpool holds up his bag of shopping

" Supplies! If we gotta look for Logan it could take awhile so I'm gonna need supplies "

" ...?... Okay! Whatever, let's go! "

" Right behind you buddy! " Deadpool and Spidey leave Avengers Tower, Spidey motions for Deadpool to climb on his back

" Dude, you sure your ribs can take my weight? "

" Yeah, I'll be alright thanks " Deadpool shrugged and climb onto Spidey's back, Spidey spun a web and headed off in their search for Logan.

Spidey decides that he and Deadpool should visit the X Mansion, thinking Logan maybe hiding out there or, at least, someone had seen him. Spidey piggybacked Deadpool as he swung through New York. They arrive at X Mansion, Spidey walks towards the front door down the designated path, Deadpool however, decided to duck, dive, roll, somersault and generally pretend he was infiltrating a fortified enemy camp or something. Spidey walked with one hand at the side of his face trying not to look, as he was embarrassed

" Deadpool! Seriously! Do you really need to do that? The X-men are friends "

" Man, you're no fun " Spidey knocks on the door, Deadpool puts his back against the wall ready to sneak attack

" Deadpool please don't do anything stupid " Spidey says with hands in prayer

" Whaaa?... " Responds Deadpool, the door opens, Cyclops greets them

" Hello Spider-man. How may I help you " Deadpool jumps out with guns pointed at Cyclops, Spidey shakes his head whilst lowering it into his right hand in embarrassment, Cyclops readies his optic blaster

" What's the meaning of this? " Pete motions for Deadpool to lower his guns, he does so, Cyclops also lowers his hand away from his optic blaster

" Errrh! Please forgive double 0 *_looks over his shoulder at Deadpool _* 'I left my brains in my other pants' here *_looks back at Cyclops _* but... ummm... Captain America and Iron Man are... 'concerned' over Logan and... I was wondering if you've seen him? "

" Yeah they were over here yesterday, I'll tell you what I told them; If he comes here I'll let you know but, I want a word with him too " Spidey was taken aback

" Really? What about? If you don't mind my asking " Cyclops folds his arms

" You 'are' joking right? " Spidey looks over his shoulder at Deadpool who shrugs

" Sorry! Have I missed something? " Storm approaches Cyclops

" Scott, I – Oh, hello " Spidey puts his hand up at Storm

" Hey Storm "

" Heeeelllooo gorgeous " Says Deadpool, Storm smiles, Spidey nudges Deadpool

" Are you looking for Logan? " Storm asked

" Yeah " Replies Spidey, Deadpool shoves Spidey out the way

" But we got time to chill with a beautiful lady like you " Storm smiles, Spidey shakes his head

" _ahem!_ Storm what is it you wanted? " Asked Cyclops sternly

" Oh, it can wait, you are busy " Storm turned to leave

" No 'I' think we are finished here " Cyclops started to close the door, Spidey stopped him

" Wait! Why are 'you' looking for Logan "

" Because of what happened yesterday "

" Yesterday? " Spidey said curiously

" The vicious - attack - on a - gang " Cyclops said as if Spidey were a little slow

" Okay! Help out the confused Spider, what is going on? "

" Didn't Captain America tell you? "

" Not really, all he said is that he was concerned for Logan and we needed to find him " Cyclops stared at Spidey trying to ascertain whether Spidey was being serious

" ... okay, yesterday a gang robbed a store, moments later they were viciously attacked, they were left with lacerations and punctures resembling claws – one of them has a ruptured testicle! Ring any bells? " Spidey and Deadpool looked at each other grabbing their groins and their bodies tensed as they winced

" And... what... you believe this to be Logan's doing? " Questioned Spidey

" Maybe – that's why he must be found – so he can clear his name, or admit it as the case maybe " Spidey is a little stunned by the revelation

" Th-Thanks Cyclops, we better be going " Spidey said a little shell-shocked

" Hope you find him " Cyclops said closing the door, (internal monologue) " I don't! Especially if he is in a pissed off mood, man, Deadpool will be the LAST person Logan will want to see! " Spidey and Deadpool leave.

Spidey and Deadpool are resting on a rooftop reflecting on what they have just learned, well, Spidey was, Deadpool was too busy reliving this mornings cartoons (internal monologue) " Man, this is intense, did Logan really rupture a guy's testicle over robbing a store? Seems like a slight over-reaction, must be more to it than that hmmmmm... I hope Tony or Steve find him because if me and Deadpool find him things could get messy "

" Hello Spider " (internal monologue) " Oh No! Felica! Not now! "

" Cat! What the hell are you doing here? " Black Cat recoils

" Wow! That's a cold welcome " Spidey apologises

" Sorry I – was... ah... " Deadpool stopped acting out this morning's cartoons and looked over at Spidey, he saw a voluptuous, white haired, blue eyed woman dressed in tight black leather, his heart skipped a beat and he got a tingling sensation

" Heeelloooooo be-autiful " Deadpool approched Black Cat

" Now THAT's the kinda welcome I like " Black Cat gave Spidey a seductive smile, Deadpool was staring intently towards Black Cat, Spidey noticed Deadpool

" Deadpool roll your tongue back into your head "

" Oh Spider, I don't mind " Black Cat stroked Deadpool's cheek

" Well I do! Besides you still haven't answered my question " Spidey snapped

" I just happened to spot you and thought I'd say hello, now I wish I hadn't " Black Cat explain with a hint of resentment

" Really? " Spidey said unconvinced

" Wow, you really ragging on her dude! " Said Deadpool

" Look, you don't know Cat like I know Cat, wherever she is trouble follows "

" Like me? "

" Sorta, although Cat's trouble usually has me breaking the law or something "

" So a girl can't just say hello to her ex without an ulterior motive? " Shrugged Black Cat

" Ex? Dude! Tell me you totally hit that? " Deadpool raised his arm ready for a high five, Spidey reluctantly reciprocated, Deadpool leaned in close keeping his eyes on Black Cat

" ... _pssst_... does MJ know? "

" Yes, aaaand that's another reason not to get involved with her *_turns to Felica_ * it's nice to see you Felica, but, me and Deadpool are on important Avenger business so? "

" Maybe I can help? " Offers Black Cat

" NO! "

" Awww, come on! A gorgeous babe is offering her help and you're turning her 'down?' Duuuude! "

" Look! MJ doesn't like me hanging out with Cat unless absolutely necessary, besides, eventually Cat's help will cost me, she will come to me and say *_does a voice mimic of Black Cat_ * **remember when I helped you out? Well, now I need your help** *_stops mimic_ * I don't want to owe Cat! "

" Hmmpf! " Black Cat said folding her arms and turning her head away

" I accept your help Cat " Said Deadpool

" Huh? " Black Cat was surprised

" What the hell Deadpool? "

" If I accept the help then she can help us and you can be guilt free and I'll owe her not you – it's a win win! "

" ... I'm still not convinced " Spidey said crossing his arms

" Come on Spider, Pleeeeease " Begged Black Cat

" Come on dude! MJ doesn't have to know " Spidey thought about it while Deadpool and Black Cat waited with anticipation

" ... Fine! But, Cat, Deadpool is the one who owes you, NOT me, got it! " Deadpool did a little celebratory jig

" Okay Spider, whatever you say... I love it when you're authoritative " Black Cat said with a sly, flirtatious smile, Spidey points at her

" Stop that Cat!... No – I mean it " Spidey bows his head (internal monologue) " MJ is not gonna like this... Maybe it won't be so bad?... Yeah right! Why does this stuff always happen to me? Guess I'd better do what I can to minimize the forth coming trouble we'll no doubt end up in – _sighs _the responsibility of being Spider-man "

" YO! SPIDEY! DUDE! YOU COMING? " Yelled Deadpool

" YEAH! DON'T WANNA MISS THE FUN DO YOU SPIDER? " Yelled Black Cat, Spidey joined them swinging through the city, a little while later Deadpool drops from Spidey's back to a rooftop below, Black Cat and Spidey join him

" What are you doing? " Questions Spidey

" Taking a break " Responds Deadpool nonchalantly as he sits down

" A break! Are you serious? " Spidey says in disbelief, Deadpool pulls a chocolate bar out of his utility belt

" Come on Spider, everyone needs to take a break now and then " Agreed Black Cat as she joined Deadpool

" What? Oh I see! Is this how it's gonna be? You and Deadpool against ME! " Spidey says touching his chest with both hands

" Dude! Chill! Have something to eat " Spidey didn't want to admit it but, he could do with the rest after lugging Deadpool around, his ribs were starting to hurt and his back did ache a little too, Spidey reluctantly sits down with Deadpool and Black Cat he clutches his ribs

" You know I'm always on 'your' side Spider... are you okay? " Says Black Cat

" heh, thanks Cat – yeah just some bruised ribs, the new suit may stop bullets - but, still leaves a bruise " Black Cat smirked

" You know, you still haven't told me what I so 'generously' offered to help you with " Inquired Black Cat

" Heh, well, we have been charged with finding and bringing back to Avengers Tower a seemingly enraged Wolverine!... So? - Still wanna help? "

" ... this cat can look after herself " Deadpool was stuffing his face with sweets and chocolate

" Errrh – you got anything a little healthier with you? " Spidey asked, Deadpool froze staring at Spidey

" ... BWAAAHAHAHAHHAHAAH! Oh man, you crack me up Pete - Oh! - Errh - I mean - Spidey "

" It's cool Deadpool, Cat knows who I am, we dated remember? "

" Oh yeah! *_turns to Black Cat _* Hey BC you want anything? Or are you on one of those new fad diets? " Black Cat leapt to her feet in a fit of rage

" WHAT? Are saying I'm FAT? "

" … Oh boy... " Muttered Spidey, trying not to be seen, Deadpool put out his arms in front of him for Black Cat to back off whilst still sitting

" Woo-ah! What?... Who said anything about being fat? "

" Why else would you suggest I'd be on a diet? " Black Cat said shaking with rage, towering over Deadpool who, was scrambling backwards trying to get away, Spidey had slowly back away from Deadpool and Black Cat

" It was a joke! You gotta believe me... I mean, most woman would 'kill' to have a figure like yours, the way the leather catsuit hugs your body – my God, and that ass – man, those beautiful blue eyes – they sparkle like sapphires " Black Cat started to calm down

" Really? You think so? " Said Black Cat turning her back on Deadpool whilst blushing

" Come on! Don't front, you know how gorgeous you are, you don't need 'me' to tell you " (internal monologue) " I don't believe it? Felica was ready to tear him a new one and some how – Deadpool was smart enough to get out of the hole he was digging, hehaha, atta boy Deadpool "

" Maybe, but it is always nice to hear "

" Are we cool now? " Asked Deadpool getting to his feet

" ... am I really that beautiful? "

" Absolutely!... I don't know how Pete does it? "

" Does what? " Black Cat looks over her shoulder at Deadpool

" Bag babes! I mean have you 'seen' Mary Jane his wife? Jeez, waaaay outta his league, but, somehow? He managed to persuade her to 'marry' him! I mean I understand 'why' he likes Mary Jane, 'cause tell ya the truth I would love to hit that, she is like the most beautiful woman on the planet! "

" Excuuuse me! " Said Black Cat turning to face Deadpool, Black Cat's eyes burned with rage

" What? " Shrugged Deadpool (internal monologue) " Looks like I spoke too soon, he had to go and spoil it by saying something stupid like – well – that! "

" I thought 'I' was gorgeous? " Black Cat said pointing to herself

" You are! – I mean - you could be a model, but, Mary Jane... wow she is like a 'super' model! Tell ya the truth, I have a thing for red heads " Black Cat shook with rage, she slapped Deadpool across the face tearing lumps of flesh from him with her clawed glove, Deadpool squealed grabbing his face and falling to one knee, Black Cat stormed over to the other side of the roof, Spidey tentatively went to see if Deadpool was okay

" Good job I don't scar hahahah! " Joked Deadpool

" What? " Spidey said a little puzzeled

" It's a joke – 'cause I have a scared face... aww nevermind... crap! Now my mask is ruined "

" Don't worry! We'll go back to Avenger Tower – get you a new one "

" Thanx buddy! " Spidey shouted cautiously over at Back Cat

" Errr... Cat! Me and Deadpool are heading back to Avengers Tower ummm... are you gonna come or?... "

" I'll come " Black Cat snapped

" Okay! And – uhh sorry about Deadpool "

" Hmfh! "

" Oh man she is totally pissed at you "

" Why? "

" Why? Did you hear yourself when you were talking to her? "

" I drifted in and out " Spidey shakes his head

" You basically said that she was worse looking than Mary Jane! Not a good idea – there is a bit of jealousy between them "

" oh! "

" *_sighs _* Come on lets go " Deadpool and Spidey head to Avengers Tower followed by Cat

" So – errh... how 'do' I entice the loverly BC? " Asked Deadpool

" What? "

" You know? How do I woo her? "

" I'm NOT gonna give you tips on how to get together with my ex, besides, she is trouble, nice, but trouble " Warned Spidey

" I like trouble "

" Really – man, you need to get over this mistaken lust over Cat "

" But I'm in looooove! "

" Oh brother! "

Avengers Tower. Spidey, Deadpool and Black Cat sneek in

" Okay, Deadpool, be quick I don't want to be – wait where is everyone? It's a little quiet " Spidey said looking around

" Yeah... a little too quiet " Deadpool retorted, Spidey shook his head

" Aren't they also looking for Wolverine? " Suggested Black Cat

" Oh right! The thing 'we should' be doing *_Spidey realizes Deadpool is still standing next to him _* Deadpool why are you still here? Go get your replacement mask! " Ordered Spidey pointing down towards the sleeping quarters

" Alright Alright! " Deadpool said motioning Spidey to calm down, he then heads off, Spidey and Black Cat head into the TV room gingerly – it's empty. A few minutes of awkward silence pass

" Seriously how long does it take? " Spidey asks rhetorically

" Maybe he bumped into 'the most beautiful woman in the world' and he's sweet talking her " Shrugged Black Cat

" Not funny Cat! " Spidey warned

" Wasn't supposed to be! " Black Cat replied coldly

" What's wrong with you? So what if Deadpool said he preferred MJ? Why do you care what he thinks? " Black Cat folds her arms

" I don't! It's just... you Spider! I say hello and you pretty much snub me, then you want me gone and you think of me as a burden – some sorta problem! " Black Cat turns her back on Spidey

" Cat, I – I didn't mean it like that! " Spidey puts his hand on her shoulder

" Save it Spider! *_She shakes off Spidey's hand _* You know? – I agreed to Deadpool because I wanted to spend time with YOU! How pathetic huh? " Black Cat hangs her head, Spidey goes to comfort her but stops, just then MJ walked into the room, she froze glaring at Black Cat, who, returned the glare (internal monologue) " Aww crap! Come on Deadpool hurry up! How long does it take to change a mask? "

" What's 'she' doing here? " Snapped MJ folding her arms

" 'She' has a name you know! " Retorted Black Cat

" Ladies! Pleeease don't do this! " Spidey said standing between both of them

" I told you Pete! I don't want you working with 'her!' " Stated MJ aggressively

" MJ! Please! This is Deadpool's idea not mine! " Spidey whimpered

" 'Really?' " MJ says unconvinced

" Yeah! He suggested that - "

" Where is then? " MJ interrupted looking around

" Ummmm... getting a replacement mask " Replied Spidey

" ...? " MJ narrowed her eyes at Spidey

" No seriously, he is! " (internal monologue) " Where are you Deadpool? Things are about to kick off! "

" What's the matter MJ? What are you frightened of? Spider chose you! Me helping him isn't going to amount to anything, so, chill! " Said Black Cat

" Chill! Did 'SHE' just tell me to chill? PETER! " (internal monologue) " Peter? Oh now she's really mad! " Spidey stands in front of MJ who is fuming

" MJ Please? " MJ looked ready for a fight

" I'm not the one you should be worried about – haven't you seen the news? Deadpool's the one you should be concerned with – what with being in a 'relationship' with Spider an all " Black Cat said mockingly referring to Deadpool's interview on the morning news, MJ was itching to attack Black Cat

" NOT helping Cat! " Said Spidey (internal monologue) " Oh man! Could this 'get' any worse? " Suddenly Deadpool jumped into the room doing Spider-man poses and singing

" Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a Spider can, spins a - _web any_... _size_...? " Deadpool stops, everyone is looking at him – speechless, Black Cat's and MJ's mouths are wide open in disbelief

" What? " Shrugs Deadpool, MJ looks at Spidey

" Pete, why is Deadpool * _MJ_ _points at Deadpool_ * wearing one of 'your' costumes? " Deadpool adjusted the costume, Spidey shugged

" I don't know? 'cause he's an idiot! What the hell? Deadpool! You're wearing one of 'MY' costumes! "

" I know! Looks good doesn't it? *_Deadpool spreads his arms and twirls _* I wasn't sure red and blue would suit me but, it looks awesome – right? I mean it is kinda itchy and rides a little in the crotch *_tugs at crotch _* but, still, sacrifice for looking good! "

" You'd better - be wearing underwear! " Demanded Spidey

" Under-wear what's that? " Questioned Deadpool, (internal monologue) " I just 'had' to ask didn't I? *_mocks his own voice_ * **could it get any worse?** *_stops voice mock_ * Well, at least it's stopped MJ and Cat fighting "

" Okay! Come on! Lets finish looking for Logan " Spidey said, taking advantage of the situation

" Peter! You don't 'still' plan on working with 'her'? " MJ said sternly with hands on hips

" Oh come on MJ, nothings gonna happen! We are 'just' looking for Logan " Deadpool walks over to Black Cat who is standing with arms folded and her back to MJ and Spidey

" Have I missed something? " Deadpool asks with his arm lifted a little and finger pointing in the air

" Just Spider's wife getting worked up about working with me! "

" Why? "

" Jealous of me " Black Cat smirked looking over her shoulder at Deadpool

" Really? " Replied Deadpool

" What's 'that' supposed to mean? " Black Cat snapped, her eyes started to burn with rage again

" Just that she is as gorgeous as you are – so she has no need to be jealous " Black Cat's tongue poked the side of her cheek

" ... I think it's the fact I'm his ex and I can do things with him when he's being a hero, something she can't "

" Oh – she's jealous 'cause she isn't a super powered hero – got it! " Deadpool marches over to Spidey and MJ

" MJ! Why don't you join us in our search for Logan? " Offered Deadpool

" What? " MJ said a little bemused

" What the hell are you talking about? " Spidey said as if Deadpool was an idiot

" If MJ joined us, then you can hang with me and BC no problems – right? " Spidey pondered for a sec

" ... eeerrh... not quite – besides I don't - "

" Okay! " MJ chirped, cutting Spidey off, Spidey double taked at MJ

" Huh? Wh-What? MJ! You can't be serious? " MJ put her hands on her hips and frowned

" Why not? "

" Why not? What if we come across some super powered nut job who wants to kill us? What are you gonna do then? "

" I can take care of myself ya know " Deadpool slowly backs away and returns to Black Cat

" I think MJ might be joining us "

" What? Why? " Black Cat says through gritted teeth

" Someone? 'may' have suggested it? " Deadpool says twiddeling his fingers, Black Cat was about to hit Deadpool when

" DEADPOOL! Can I have a word? NOW! " Shouted Spidey, Deadpool quickly went over to Spidey which, left MJ and Black Cat to continue to stare daggers at each other

" So? Why? Why would you suggest that my wife come along? And why are you wearing one of my costumes? " Inquired Spidey genuinely intrigued

" Ummmm... I don't have a spare costume! So I borrowed one of yours and as for MJ – BC told me MJ was jealous 'cause she doesn't get to hang with you as Spider-man so, I thought it'd be nice if she joined us, also, you won't get as much flack for hanging with BC – right? " Spidey was somewhat surprised, he didn't know if it was 'cause he had spent so much time with Deadpool, but, that made sense

" ...?... I really don't know what to make of you Deadpool? Sometimes you come across as an idiot or crazy or with child-like naïvety and sometimes like a well meaning genius! I'm not sure if you are acting sometimes or not – but, what you just said, it's a nice idea in theory - and you're right, if MJ tags along I won't get as much flack, but MJ would be at risk because she has no powers, she isn't like us "

" We can protect her! "

" She would be at risk! I can't do that to her! Understand! " Spidey says, Deadpool nods

" Pete! I'm coming! " MJ says, Spidey spins round surprised

" Woowah! MJ? But? - " Stuttered Spidey

" That's final! " MJ stated, her eyes burned holes through Spidey

" Yes MJ *_Spidey looks at Deadpool and shakes his fist_* You are soooo dead! " Deadpool strokes the back of his neck nervously

And so the team of Spidey, MJ, Deadpool and Black Cat head off in the search for Logan.

**Next Time**: Deadpool: The hunt for Logan!


	9. Deadpool: The Hunt For Logan

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 9

Deadpool: The Hunt For Logan

_Note: I may of taken longer than usual to write this chapter, I'm not sure? I was busy writing another story 'MORTAL KOMBAT®: Scorpion vs Sub-Zero' – okay, enough plugging._

_Enjoy!_

Deadpool scratches his head

" So? Ah – how's this gonna work? " MJ, Black Cat and Spidey look at Deadpool, he continues

" You know? MJ's gonna ride with you, right? _*points to Spidey*_ on the account of me not having web-stringy things shooting from my wrists and not having a grappling claw, _note to self; gotta get me one of those_, how am 'I' gonna travel? " Black Cat, MJ and Spidey look amongst each other

" You can ride on my back " Says Black Cat, Deadpool so wanted to jump for joy but, remained composed

" Really? Are you sure you can carry me? " Questions Deadpool, Black Cat puts her hands on her hips

" I 'do' have above average strength, you know "

" Nope, I didn't know " Replies Deadpool shaking his head

" That's not all you have " MJ taunts

" MJ! " Spidey says in a scolding tone

" You know, you should really put a gag on her " Retorts Black Cat

" Ladies pleeease don't start again " Spidey begs, Black Cat and MJ look away from each other

" Come on Deadpool, let's go " Commanded Black Cat

" Okay " Deadpool climbs onto Black Cat's back

" Follow me Cat, I know a few of Logan's favourite bars " Spidey motions for MJ to climb upon his back, he then spins a web and sets off with Black Cat and Deadpool in tow. After a few minutes Spidey realizes Deadpool and Black Cat were missing, he stops on a nearby rooftop

" Where the hell are Deadpool and Cat? "

" How should 'I' know " Shrugged MJ, Spidey shakes his head

" Do you even care? "

" Not really! " MJ said apathetically (internal monologue) " Oh boy, this is gonna be a long day, what the hell is going on? Instead of looking for Logan, we have to now look for Deadpool and Cat! Why can't anything go smoothly?... Oh yeah – I'm Spider-Man, my life is 'filled' with complications "

Meanwhile.

" Ah – where we going? " Asks Deadpool, Black Cat looks over her shoulder slightly

" It's a secret " She replies

" A secret? O-h... got it... you want some alone time with me " Teases Deadpool

" WHAT? " Black Cat squeals in disbelief

" No, it's okay, I wanted some alone time with you myself " Reveals Deadpool

" You idiot! I don't want some alone time with YOU! " Affirms Black Cat

" Heheheh – no need to be embarrassed " Deadpool taunts

" I'M NOT! I - "

" Sshhhh, it's okay "

" GAWD! You're impossible! " Black Cat lands on top of the Daily Bugle

" Huh? - The Daily Bugle? Why are we here? " Questions Deadpool

" Shhu-ush! " Black Cat leads Deadpool into a vent used by Spider-man to enter the Daily Bugle incognito

" You know - I'm not good with tight spaces " Whines Deadpool, Black Cat ignores him and drops into the room below, Deadpool follows and finds himself in a closet, then, Black Cat grabs his arm

" WOW! You are a little impatient aren't you? " Jests Deadpool, Black Cat marches him into J Jonah Jameson's office, Deadpool looks around confused

" WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS? " Yells Jameson

" Mr. Jameson, I'm here to collect the bounty " Announced Black Cat

" Whaaa? - - " Deadpool sounds in disbelief

" WEB-HEAD! WHAT DO YOU WANT? " Jameson glares at Deadpool

" Spidey's here? Where? " Deadpool says looking around

" Huh? _*Black Cat looks at Deadpool and remembers he is dressed as Spider-man*_ NO! Wait this is Deadpool "

" Really? YA DON'T FOOL ME! NOW SCRAM! " Jameson motions for them to leave

" Does he have to shout everything? " Deadpool asks rhetorically

" No, really this 'is' Deadpool – look! He has guns and katana strapped to his back " Pleads Black Cat, Jameson pulls a face of contempt, she continues

" Please, I'm here for the bounty! "

" BOUNTY? Sorry Miss, but, there is no bounty " Says Jameson dismissing Black Cat, she frowns in confusion

" But, you announced that if anyone bought Deadpool to you, you would give a reward " Jameson furrowed his brow

" What are ya - DEAF? I said there is NO BOUNTY! Besides, you brought SPIDER-MAN! " Says Jameson

" Grrrrh... that, that can't be? " Black Cat clenched her fists and started to shake with anger

" SECURITY! COME ESCORT THESE TWO VAGRANTS! " Black Cat motioned for Jameson to stop

" No no, it's okay, we're going – come on Deadpool! " Black Cat said through gritted teeth and angry eyes, Jameson sneered, just then, something flew by the window

" Wait – wasn't that Iron-Man? " Said Deadpool pointing to the window, Black Cat shrugs, Deadpool peers out the window, everyone starts to get a little intrigued and join Deadpool in looking out the windows, just then something flew by the window again, this time in the opposite direction

" See! There he is again " Proclaimed Deadpool

" That didn't look good " Said Black Cat

Building shakes. All the Daily Bugle staff head for cover under desks

" WOOWAH! What the hell? " Deadpool opens a window and looks out

" … hmmmm... Looks like a fight a few blocks down, oh and Iron-Man seems to be stuck in a building " Reports Deadpool nonchalantly

" YOU TWO! YOU'RE HEROES, supposedly, SO STOP STANDING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING! " Yelled Jameson from under his desk

" Right! " Deadpool heads towards the office door

" HEY! WALL CRAWLER! AREN'T YOU GONNA JUMP OUT THE WINDOW? "

" Errrh hell no! I'm not Spidey – I'm Deadpool, do I have to hit you again? " Jameson cowers under the desk bewildered, a reluctant and bereft Black Cat decided to approach the window

" Hey BC give us a ride down there... Hey BC... HEY!... What the hell?... " Black Cat ignored Deadpool and lept out of the window, Deadpool ran upto the window and looked out, he saw Black Cat heading away from the commotion

" O-kay? " Deadpool waves goodbye to the Daily Bugle staff and heads to the elevators

" Man, I wish I could fly or something " Deadpool pondered as he headed to the ground floor, Deadpool exited the Daily Bugle and started to run towards the disruption

" I'm 'sooooo' gonna get Tony to make me some sorta mode of transport – like – like a jet-powered cycle or – or rocket boots or... waita minute _*slaps forehead* _he can fix this piece of crap transporter – yeah! " Deadpool arrives on scene gasping for air – a few seconds later

" aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh "

_**KHEEEEERSCH!**_

" ... eeeruuuuh... " Spider-Man was struck by an unknown assailant into a nearby building, he got up and shook of the debris

" Dude! You okay? " Asks Deadpool

" DEADPOOL! Where the HELL have you been? " Demands Spidey

" Okay – you sound pissed, what have I done now? "

" What have you – you disappeared! "

" Oh! That! Well, BC wanted some alone time with yours truly – incoming " Deadpool motions for Spidey to duck, Spidey ducks the incoming debris

" WHAT? 'Really?' " Spidey questions

" Yeah! She took me to the Daily Bugle, it's different I know "

" WHAT? Dressed like THAT? … What the hell was she thinking? "

" She wanted to claim the bounty "

" THE BOUNTY? "

" Yes, but, only there is no bounty "

" NO BOUNTY?... Wait - no bounty? " Spidey said confused

" … as I was saying, Mr. Jameson said there was no bounty - which is strange, 'cause I was attacked twice last nite for it? "

" I can't believe her! Now do you see? I told you there was always an agenda with her – I knew she couldn't be trusted – speaking of which, where 'is' Cat? "

" Urrrrh... she took off, she was upset about the bounty "

" Yeah I bet she was "

" She musta really 'needed' that money "

" Don't be fooled Deadpool, she probably needed it to pay off some gang boss, loan shark or something non-legit "

" I don't know, I get the feeling it's more than that "

" 'Re-ally?' Is that the 'not so famous Assassin's Sense' talking? "

" Hey! Don't dis th- uerh! " Deadpool was struck by some debris from the fight, he massages his head

" aow-ah, that hurt! Thanx for the heads-up by the way "

" Sorry " Shrugged Spidey, a shadow looms above them

" _**Spider-Man and – Spider-Man? **_"

" Nah – that's Deadpool " Says Spidey pointing to Deadpool

" _**That would explain the swords and guns. Do I want to know why he's wearing one of 'your' costumes? **_"

" Errh... No "

" _**Okay! So, you two! Are you going to help or stand around chatting?**_ " Asks Iron-Man

" Actually, I wouldn't mind finishing our chat " Replies Deadpool

" Deadpool! " Spidey says in a way for Deadpool to shut-up and show some respect

" _**Haha – It was more of a polite order as opposed to an **__**actual question**_ " Iron-Man states rejoining the fight, Spidey and Deadpool jog towards the fight

" So? Who are we giving a butt whooping to? " Asked Deadpool

" Not sure? Someone/thing new! "

" AWESOME! "

" Awesome? You think 'this' is awesome? "

" Yep! Why? Don't you? "

" HELL NO! "

They rejoin the fight to see Captain America, Iron-Man and Luke Cage combating an unknown adversary, Cap looks over his shoulder to see Spidey and Deadpool arrive, he frowns – confused

" Two Spider-Men? " Cap enquires

" No – that's Deadpool! " Says Spidey pointing to Deadpool who, was waving

" Okay! Ummm... Spider-Man! Get high – take it from above with Iron-Man " Orders Captain America

" Okay! " Spidey heads high and teams with Iron-Man

" Deadpool! You're with me " Commands Cap

" Yes! Double awesome! " Deadpool says saluting

" _**Ion repulsers ready! **_" Iron-Man blasts the Unknown with little effect, Spidey swings by double kicking the Unknown to the head, Captain America throws his shield at it while Luke Cage is pounding away, Deadpool is configuring his guns

" Okay... now – I press this – no, that and... oh, that's it! Ready! " Deadpool set his guns to stun and readied them

" EVERYONE! GET TO COVER! DEADPOOL HAS HIS GUNS OUT! " Shouts Spidey in jest, Deadpool fires his guns, the Unknown starts to spasm

" Well done Deadpool! " Praises Cap, Deadpool smiles ear to ear, _under his mask of course_, the Unknown collapses, they gather round it

" Okay, that was a little 'too' easy don'tcha think? " Says Spidey

" Yeah! Spidey's right man, I wasa poundin' dat thin' wiv li'l effect, den, Deadpool shows up an' puts it down – man, dat's not right! " States Cage

" _**Agreed! **_" Cap puts his hand on his chin

" I must admit it is a little strange, maybe it is a testament to your ingenuity Tony "

" _**Thank you Cap **_" Deadpool positions himself so everyone can see him and announces

" So, let me get this straight, no-one here believes that I could put down that – that – well, _* looks over his shoulder and points to the Unknown * _whatever that is? "

" Yep! " Spidey chirps, Deadpool folds is arms in a huff

" Man, you are all just jealous! I took out the Rhino AND my buddie Frank – Punisher to you " Cap, Cage, Iron-Man and Spidey start to look through Deadpool – Deadpool carries on

" So I think I can take down whatever 'that' is – don't you? " Spidey, Iron-Man, Cage and Cap's mouths drop, _only Cap's and Cage's are visible_, Deadpool starts waving his hands trying to be noticed

" Hellooooo?... What?... What are you looking at? " Deadpool turns round to see the Unknown rise to it's feet

" Oh crap! " The Unknown struck Deadpool sending him into a parked car – breaking many bones in his body, Deadpool didn't move, Cap, Cage, Iron-Man and Spidey readied themselves concerned at the power of the Unknown

" That musta hurt! " Remarked Spidey, Iron-Man turns to Cap

" _**Cap! What's the plan?... Cap!**_ " Cap ponders for a moment before answering

" Iron-Man try your chest beam canon "

" _**WHAT? That might kill it?**__ "_ States Iron-Man

" It has been unaffected by our previous efforts, what else do you propose? " Reaffirms Cap

" _**Maybe it has a weakness to something? Water, fire – we should try that first**_ "

" Too risky! We must protect the citizens of New York, we cannot afford to let this Unknown live – he is unaffected by any of our attacks, we have to consider putting it to rest " Iron-Man knew Cap was right but, he didn't feel right killing something, but, he wasn't sure his chest proton canon would kill it

" _**I need time to build up the charge**_ "

" We will get you the time. Spider-Man get high – Cage distract it's attention " They nod and do as they are told, Iron-Man seeks a safe place to charge up his beam

" What about me? " Cap spins round in surprise

" DEADPOOL? Are you okay? " Deadpool pats himself all over

" I'm good!... I think? "

" Okay, do what you do best " Deadpool salutes and skips towards the Unknown, Cage is going toe-to-toe with it while Spidey uses his webbing to disrupt the Unknowns attacks. Deadpool stands in a strong stance with both guns tilted like a Yakuza member

" Okay punk! Get ready for some ASSASSIN'S TWIN FANG PARALYSING STRIKE! " Deadpool fires his guns – nothing, Deadpool inspects his guns

" Hey! What gives? " Iron-Man notices Deadpool having trouble with the guns

" _**DEADPOOL! ARE YOU TRYING TO USE THE STUN PULSE AGAIN? **_" Deadpool nods

" YEAH WHY? "

" _**BECAUSE YOU CANNOT CONTINUALLY USE IT! BETWEEN EVERY SHOT THERE IS A COOLDOWN PERIOD, TRY ONE OF THE OTHER SETTINGS FOR NOW **_"

" OKAY! " Deadpool starts to reconfigure the guns, Spidey and Cage are taken out by the Unknown, in the distance a flying object approached – it was the Fantasticar, the Thing leapt to the ground

" Okay! Who needsa clobberin'? " The Thing jokes

" I'd say the big dude trashing New York " Retorts Johnny

" Naw ya don't say? " The Thing counters sarcastically

" FLAME ON! " Johnny becomes a human torch and soars into the sky, Reed Richards lands the Fantasticar and approaches Captain America

" Captain Rogers, we offer our assistance " Says Reed Richards

" Much appreciated Richards, thank you " Accepts Cap shaking Richards hand, Deadpool fires his rubber bullets at the Unknown, with little effect

" This is embarrassing " Mumbles Deadpool, Johnny spots Deadpool

" Hey Spidey! How ya doing? Oh, and why are you using guns " Deadpool looks up

" That's Deadpool, I'm Spidey " Johnny spins round to see a different Spidey waving at him from the side of a building

" Wait! _* looks back and fourth between Spidey and Deadpool * _how do I know which is the 'real' Spidey? _" _Spidey points at Deadpool

" Errrh because he's using guns and 'I'm' stuck on the side of a building "

" Oh – right, well, it's good to see ya buddie "

" Yeah, good to see you to Johnny " Johnny nods and heads into battle, he circles the Unknown throwing fireballs

" Urrrh! HE SEEMS TO BE IMMUNE TO FIRE – NOT GOOD! " the Thing sniggers

" Stand aside flame-brain, I gots this " the Thing charges the Unknown but is swatted away like a fly, he smashes into a nearby building

" BWAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAH! _* wipes a tear from eye *_ BEN! Hahahah YOU OKAY! " Shouts Johnny, with little concern, the Thing rubbed his head as he sat amongst the debris

" Errrrgh... peachy " Murmured the Thing, Johnny smiled

" REED WHAT DO WE DO NOW? " Richards ponders and turn to Sue Richards

" Sue! Can you encase it in one of your force fields? "

" I'll try Reed " Sue Richards tries to encase the Unknown, Cap motions for the Avengers to gather round and back off

" Errruh... Reed! This thing - errrh... it's strong... I can't - errrh... hold it! " The Unknown broke the force field

" Thank you for trying Sue " Richards stretches himself around the Unknown in an attempt to incapacitate it

" _**OKAY! MY PROTON BEAM CANON IS CHARGED! **_" Shouted Iron-Man

" RICHARDS! LET GO OF THE UNKNOWN! " Ordered Cap, Richards did so but, in all the commotion they failed to see that SHIELD agents had surrounded them, a SHIELD helicarrier descended from the clouds

" THIS IS AKTING COMMANDAR BLACK WIDOW ON BEHALF OF COLONEL NICK FURY. DESIST YOWR ATTAKZ IMMEDIATELY! " Black Widow ordered through a speaker phone, the heroes look around in confusion

" Wait! Is she talking to us? " Questioned Spidey puzzled, more SHIELD agents flood out of the SHIELD helicarrier, so too does Black Widow, the SHIELD agents surrounded the Unknown and were seemingly subduing it with special guns, Black Widow approaches Captain America

" We shall take et frum heur. Thank you and yowr team fur yowr assistance Captaen Amerika " Says Black Widow, Cap was taken aback

" What? You expect us to just... leave? " Says Cap

" Exactley, now, pleese go " Reaffirmed Black Widow dismissing him

" Eh-uh, NO WAY! I ain't gonna let SHIELD tell ME whut ta do " Protested Cage, Black Widow sighs

" Meester Cage, Pleese do noht make us restraen you yes " Threatened Black Widow

" I wanna see ya try " Cage said provokingly, Cap stood in front of Cage

" Easy Cage. Let me handle this " Said Cap, Black Widow starts to march around making sure everyone can here her as she yells

" ALL HEROWS! STOP! SHIELD ORDARS YOU TO STOP! " SHIELD agents start pointing weapons at the heroes

" DO NOT POINT GUNS AT US! " Demands Cap

" Then leeve " Says Black Widow, all the heroes gather round Black Widow, the SHIELD agents continue to suppress the Unknown

" You heard the woman right? We can all go home, 'cause SHIELD is here to save the day! Yay! " Spidey mocks

" I feel 'sooooo' much better, I'll be able to sleep well knowing SHIELD is here to protect us " Johnny adds sarcastically, Black Widow mutters something in Russian with contempt

" _**So? SHIELD has 'got' this. Excuse me if I'm not exactly, 'filled' with confidence**_ " Says Iron-Man dubiously

" Does this mean that this is SHIELD's mess? " Asks Richards

" Not at leeberty to say " Everyone groans, Black Widow continues

" Yowr services are no longar required, now leeve! "

" Not until the citizens of New York are safe " States Cap

" Do not test me Captaen! SHIELD will contaen et, this es not up fur debate "

" What the hell is it? " Asks Deadpool, Black Widow scowls at Deadpool

" SHIELD dows not answar to you, you answar to SHIELD! "

" Come on Reed, It's obvious SHIELD is being unco-operative, let's go " Says Sue

" But Sue, I would like to know what that 'thing' is, no offence Ben " Sue puts her hands on her hips and furrows her brow

" REED! " Reed smiles nervously

" Okay Sue... Ben, Johnny, come on! "

" WHAT? And miss all the fun! Awww man " Moaned Johnny

" Yeah! I wanted ta see matchstick here get 'is butt whooped " Mocked the Thing

" Errh Ben, if memory serves me correct that 'thing' sent 'you' into a building like you were nothing hahahahahaah! " Joked Johnny

" I wasa warmin' up " Self-justified the Thing

" Yeah right hahahahahahaah! " They get into the Fantasticar and flew away

" And what abowt you? " Asks Black Widow, Cap pondered and shook his head

" This isn't right, we risked our lives – the least you can do is tell us what that thing is and why you do not want our help? "

" I do not hav to tell you anything " Cap was seething but, being a righteous man he composed himself and gave in to SHIELD's command

" Fine! AVENGERS! LET'S FALLBACK! " Commanded Cap, he leans in close to Black Widow

" I hope for the sake of New York you can contain this 'thing' " Black Widow acknowledged Cap

" Thank you fur leeving " The Avengers head back to Avengers Tower.

Avengers Tower. Deadpool and Spidey were chilling in front of the TV, Steve and Tony were in the Lab and Luke was in his room

" By the way Pete, what did you do with MJ? " Asks Deadpool, referencing the fact that MJ was teaming with Spidey in the search for Logan but, wasn't involved in the fight, Pete frowns

" MJ? Oh she... she... _*Pete's eyes bulge in horror, he goes a little pale*_ MJ! " Pete leaps from the sofa

" Pete? " Pete ignores Deadpool as he dashes to his room muttering

" Crap crap crap crap... oh man, she's gonna kill me! "

MJ is sitting on a rooftop seething about being left there for so long. Black Cat swings by

" MJ? " Black Cat lands on the roof, MJ glares at her

" Cat " She says in contempt, Black Cat looks around

" Why are you sitting here? "

" 'cause my idiot husband has forgot about me! " MJ states in disdain

" Yeah Pete is a bit of a flake ha ha hah, don't you have a phone? " Inquires Black Cat

" I forgot to bring it " Black Cat waits a moment before offering

" Well, I errr if you want I could – drop you off at Avengers mansion "

" NO! " Black Cat looks out across the city skyline, the sun is starting to set

" Well, you can't stay up here all night can you? " MJ looks away from Black Cat

" I don't want your help! " Black Cat sighs

" Come on – you can go back to hating me tomorrow, okay? " Black Cat offers her hand with a sincere smile, MJ contemplates for a moment before reluctantly accepting her hand. Black Cat, with MJ on her back, sets off for Avengers Tower.

**Next Time**: Deadpool: The Motor Mouths vs Logan?


	10. Deadpool: The Motor Mouths vs Logan!

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 10

Deadpool: The Motor Mouths vs Logan!

Pete wrestled with his left boot whilst hopping toward the elevator* with his right foot.

*_Note: Those wondering why Spidey is using the elevator instead of a window, well, Stark's Tower's windows are sealed for security*_

Suddenly PING the elevator doors opened to reveal a pissed off Mary Jane Watson-Parker. She was red-faced, wild-eyed and had jaw and fists clenched – Pete stood there with mouth wide open in wide eyed shock, he managed to stutter

" Ummh... heurrrhh... ah... h-h-how? " MJ barged past not even looking at him or muttering a single word. She hurried to their room and slammed the door shut. Pete dropped his boot and followed in a daze, he cautiously knocked on the door

" MJ?... MJ please, I'm so sorry... " he put his ear to the door listening out for a response – he wasn't granted one, Pete decided to continued

" C'mon MJ – I said I was sorry, please just let me explain " he was cut-off by MJ

" EXPLAIN WHAT? " she yelled " EXPLAIN WHY YOU LEFT ME ON A ROOF! EXPLAIN WHY I HAD TO SUFFER THE HUMILIATION OF BEING RESCUED BY – BY BLACK CAT! ARRRRGGH! " _Black Cat? _Thought Pete, but not wanting to press the issue he carried on his apology

" Okay – so you're pissed, I get that – I do but, it was an honest mistake. I really am so very sorry MJ... MJ? "

" SORRY? NOT YET YOU'RE NOT! " Pete recoiled from the door and swallowed hard, something about the way MJ said that sent a shiver down his spine and a feeling of nausea washed over him.

Pete slowly, still in a daze, headed back into the T.V room and slumped down in the sofa next to Deadpool, he sighed a heavily and started to contemplate on how to make it upto MJ and why Black Cat had helped? What was in it for her? His thoughts were interrupted

" Potato chip? " Deadpool said casually as if he was oblivious to what just happened, Pete shook his head no, closed his eyes and put his head in his hands

" _sigh_ Man, I am soooo dead! " Pete mumbled, Deadpool glanced at Pete and said

" Huh? Fuhgedda'boutet! She'll come round " Pete looked up from his hands at Deadpool in disbelief

" I don't think so " he said dubiously " I 'LEFT HER' - on a 'ROOF' - and 'FORGOT' about her "

" So? " Deadpool shrugged " We aaaaall leave our wives on a roof and forget about them at some point " he joked, Pete frowned

" What? If you're trying to cheer me up it's not working. MJ is right to be angry with me. She's been angry with me before but, this time it feels – different " Pete said with a hint of unease. Deadpool decided to continue watching T.V and munch on potato chips, Pete put his head back in his hands and resumed his agonizing thoughts. Steve entered the room, he headed towards the kitchen, glancing to his left as he did so, Steve noticed Pete had his head in his hands and was dressed in his Spidey gear, except for his mask and left boot

" Is everything alright? " Steve inquired as he came to a stop

" Pete left MJ on a roof and forgot about her, now she's locked herself in her room " Deadpool answered nonchalantly with a mouthful of potato chips, Pete looked at Deadpool astounded

" Pete. Can I have a word in the kitchen please? " Steve motioned for Pete to join him, Pete hesitantly rose to his feet and sheepishly made his way to the kitchen. As Pete entered the kitchen Steve was already seated and was motioning for him to sit, Pete did so

" Do you wish to explain a little more on what Deadpool said, son? " Steve asked with a friendly smile

" Not really " replied Pete looking down at the table too ashamed to make eye contact, Steve folded his arms and leant back in the chair and changed his tone to an authoritative one

" Okay. I need to know. Will this affect your duties as an Avenger? Would you and MJ like some time away? " Pete didn't really know what to say, MJ wasn't speaking to him, he wasn't sure if she needed time away or whether this would indeed, affect his duties as an Avenger. Steve was staring at Pete intently, measuring his reactions, waiting for a reply. Pete carefully considered his answer

" ... I think - I just need to clear my head, have a swing through the city whilst letting MJ cool off " Steve nodded in acknowledgement, he unfolded his arms and returned to his friendly tone

" Okay. But remember son, we are a team. We are friends, you do not have to go through this alone " Pete nodded and smiled

" ... thank you "

" HEY GUYS? YOU MIGHT WANNA SEE THIS? " yelled Deadpool, Pete and Steve looked at each other and made their way to the T.V room. Deadpool was pointing at the T.V, scenes of SHIELD containing the 'Unknown being' the Avengers had fought earlier were being shown, Pete and Steve stood in the middle of the room

" ... attacked earlier today, luckily for the citizens, SHIELD subdued and arrested this – Unknown, makes you wonder where the costumed vigilantes were? A spokesperson of SHIELD had this to say - " a clean-shaven, generic looking man with dark brown hair styled in a military crew cut appeared, no-one that Pete, Steve or Deadpool recognized

" We plan on being a more pronounced force in dealing with such occurrences. Citizens can rest assure that SHIELD is out there patrolling the city, ready to stop 'any' threat to New York " it switched back to the news reader who moved on to another story, Deadpool noticed Pete and Steve standing in shock, fixated on the T.V, he swiped his hand in a dismissive manner at the T.V and whined

" What the? They totally forgot to credit us. That's soooo not cool " Deadpool finished by folding his arms in a exaggerated huff

" Something's not right? " Steve remarked concernedly whilst stroking his chin

" What part? " shrugged Pete " The interview? The fact they want to go public? Or the fact that they negated to show or mention 'our' involvement? "

" The whole thing " Steve said assuredly " I was suspicious when they refused our help, but now - this doesn't make sense? " he stated shaking his head in bemusement, Pete pondered on Steve's words for a second

" Maybe SHIELD have been 'forced' into the spotlight? " he finally chirped

" For what reason? And by whom? " retorted Steve, Pete scratched his head

" ... I got nothing " he conceded

" Whatever the reason, it cannot be good " Steve stated in a vigilant manner

" Agreed " Pete said, he then motioned a thumb over his shoulder at the window and said " Imma head out, clear my head " Steve nodded, Pete turned to Deadpool " Deadpool you wanna come? " Deadpool choked on his potato chips, Steve looked at Pete in disbelief

" What? " Deadpool cried spitting potato chips everywhere " You're inviting ME? " he asked stunned, Pete nodded " Sure do! Don't need to ask me twice " Deadpool said excitedly leaping up from the sofa and punching up in the air, Steve smiled and headed off to the lab to talk with Tony.

Deadpool and Spidey set off into the cool, refreshing feel of the evening night, Deadpool clung to Spidey's back as they swung through the city. They soon noticed SHIELD patrol units all over New York

" Wow, they weren't joking when they said they were gonna be patrolling New York huh? " Spidey remarked casually

" So? What happens if some super-powered freak appears causing trouble? Do we leave it for SHIELD now or what? " asked Deadpool in earnest

" Not sure – but, I cannot in good conscience just sit by and watch " Spidey said with resolve

" Hmmmm... what's gonna happen to The Avengers now? " Deadpool bespoke

" Wouldn't like to say " retorted Spidey

" Okay, so what's the plan? " Deadpool asked eagerly

" We are heading to my fave spot for contemplation "

" Oh – cool... can we stop off at Macky Dees* first? "

" Uh – sure, why not? "

_*Note: Macky Dees is slang for McDonalds®. Other fast food branches are available*_

Meanwhile. In the laboratories of Avengers Tower. Stark is working on a new costume for Deadpool

" TONY? " Yelled Steve

" IN HERE STEVE! " Tony yelled in reply, Steve headed to the room he heard Tony's voice. He knocked and entered with a heavy look on his face

" Tony, I have some troubling news regarding SHIELD "

" Great " Tony stated wryly before asking mockingly " So – what are 'they' upto now? " Steve furrowed his brow and folded his arms

" It would seem they wish to become a public world police force "

" WHAT? " Tony exclaimed in shock " But isn't that against what they were created for? "

" I know. It doesn't make sense. I need to speak with Natasha immediately! "

" Hah, good luck with that Steve " Tony jested " She sure didn't seem interested in talking with us earlier, not even MY charms will work on her ha ha ha " Steve smiled

" Still. I need to know what is going on Tony "

In the city. Spidey is on a rooftop overlooking Deadpool who is entering McDonalds® to a chorus of stares, then a kid shouts

" Hey Spidey! What happened to your cool new costume? "

" Uh sorry little dude, I ain't Spidey, I'm Deadpool " he said pointing to the katana strapped to his back " Spidey's loaning me this costume – besides, I'm cooler than Spidey, right? "

" Huh? " the kid looked bemused,

" DEADPOOL SUCKS! " a kid shouted, Deadpool looked around wildly

" WHO SAID THAT? " he demanded, clenching his left fist and motioned rolling up his sleeve, a moment of silence passed then a couple of kids started chanting

" We want Spider-Man, we want Spider-Man " then the rest of the kids joined in the chanting

" WE WANT SPIDER-MAN! WE WANT SPIDER-MAN! WE WANT SPIDER-MAN! " defeated, Deadpool made his way to the counter, a nervous looking blond haired girl greeted him

" G-G-Good evenin' m-may I take ya order? " Deadpool leant on the counter

" Goooooood evening beautiful, now – let's see... hmmmm... I'll haaaaave... " Deadpool looked at the menu boards tapping his chin with his left index finger

" HEY! Spidar-freak! Ya wanna hurry it up? I wanna eats bafore Christmas! " a burly New York native said aggressively, Deadpool looks at the girl behind the counter

" Excuse me a mo', YO! BUDDY! " he spun round and punched the guy in the face. Before the guy fell, Deadpool grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him close " Ya wanna eat ya food through a tube for the rest of ya life? 'cause I can make that happen! " Spidey notices the commotion (internal monologue)mimics Deadpools voice _" Can we stop off at Macky Dees first? " _mimics self _" Uh - sure, why not? Because Deadpool might kill someone THAT'S WHY NOT! Man, I knew I shoulda gone in with him "_ Spidey drops down and enters McDonalds®

" DEADPOOL! " Spidey yells, both the guy and Deadpool look over at Spidey who, is standing with hands on hips " Unhand that man – NOW! " commanded Spidey, " You're scaring the children! " Deadpool looked around, the kids and parents were wearing worried expressions upon their faces. Deadpool unhands the man, then proceeds to dusts the guy off and readjusts his shirt, then looks at the floor ashamed and fidgets with discomfort, the kids start to chant for Spidey. Spidey motions for them to settle down, Deadpool turns back to the girl behind the counter

" I'll have a McChicken Sandwich® please "

Moments later. Deadpool and Spidey head out of McDonalds®, Deadpool lifts up his mask to expose his mouth and takes a bite of his McChicken Sandwich®, Spidey turns to Deadpool

" What is 'wrong' with you Deadpool? You're an Avenger now, you need to set an example for kids "

" I was " Deadpool mumbled with a mouthful of food

" How? " Spidey challenged him sharply

" By showing them to stick up for themselves " Spidey pondered for a moment

" Okay. You got me there – I'm not sure what happened or what was said? " But before Spidey could continue, a kid came running round the corner, he bumps into Deadpool knocking his McChicken Sandwich® to the floor

" GOD DAMMIT! " exclaimed Deadpool, the kid fell to the ground

" I am TOTALLY gonna rip you a new - " Deadpool pulled down his mask and looked the kid over " Hey! Didn't me and Cap kick your butt the other day? " he inquired stroking his chin, the kid trembled and murmured in bemusement but, couldn't actually say anything

" Not much of a talker is he? " Spidey remarks in jest

" That's definitely him. He was just as talkative when me and Cap stopped his sorry ass the other day hahahaha! " retorted Deadpool placing a foot on the chest of the kid pinning him to the ground, the kid didn't quite understand as his eyes kept darting between Deadpool and Spidey

" Aaaand, if memory serves me correct " Deadpool says tapping his finger against his head " I said next time I wasn't gonna go easy on ya! " Deadpool joked pulling out his right gun. He adjusted the settings and twirled it a couple of times before aiming it at the kid who, closed his eyes and squirmed trying to free himself. Spidey allowed Deadpool his fun but, was ready to step in if it went too far

" Wait, am I missing something here? " Spidey asked nonchalantly, Deadpool lowered himself and looked the kid in the eyes

" This 'kid' cost me a chocolate indulgence ice-cream AND a chicken burger! Not to mention, an earache on the ride back from Cap about the disrespect this kid showed, running away when he was delivering one of his speeches " he explained, not taking his eyes off the kid for a second, the kid finally twigged, despite his appearance, that it was Deadpool NOT another Spider-Man he was dealing with

" Ha ha sooo THIS is that kid! Ha ha ha " Spidey continued to jest

" Puh – puh – puhlease, don't " The kid whimpered, holding his hand up to shield himself from attack

" Oh, so he 'does' speak ha ha " Spidey mocked

" I – I – I'm sorry man " the kid shakily apologised

" Sorry? " Deadpool questioned rhetorically " Sorry doesn't get me my ice-cream and burger back DOES IT? " he protested waving his gun around. A shadow loomed above them

" Leave the boy alone! " Deadpool and Spidey look up, it was the Vulture! He wore a puzzled expression as he looked over Deadpool, who was dressed as Spidey, and Spider-Man noting that one of the Spider-Men had a gun. (Spidey internal monologue) _" Oh great! Just what I need, why does this keep happening to me? " _Spidey's thoughts were cut short

" _**pssst... Spidey? " **_Deadpool whispered, removing his foot from the kid and leaning in close to Spidey _" __**There's an old man pretending he's a bird. What do we do? Freeze and hope he doesn't notice us "**_

" Ha ha, that's old man Toomes – he's more dangerous than he appears " Spidey chuckled

" I AM THE VULTURE! You are right Spider-Man when you say I'm dangerous, more dangerous than ever! " The Vulture announced whilst hovering above them

" Riiiiight? The ONLY dangerous thing about YOU - is that NOSE! Seriously, you could peck someone's eye out with that thing! " Deadpool mocked, both Spidey and Deadpool burst out laughing

" YOU SIMPLETONS! " Vulture spat

" Awww whutsa matter, Polly wanna cracker? Ha ha ha ha " Spidey ridiculed

" THAT'S AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BIRD! " Vulture snapped, he dry coughed and composed himself turning his attention to Deadpool " I trust you're that buffoon 'Deadpool' posing as Spider-Man? Do you 'even' know who 'I' am and about the terror of The Vulture? " he questioned through clenched teeth

" Errh – aren't they cowardly birds that prey on the weak or dead! " Deadpool replied with a hint of sarcasm

" Hmpfh! I can assure you, I'll have no trouble taking on a fool like you! " Vulture pointed at Deadpool angrily " For my upgrades have made me more formidable than ever before! " Deadpool patted his mouth, signifying boredom, inciting Vulture's ire, Vultures eyes bulged in disbelief quickly replaced with a deathstare

" DO NOT! INSULT ME! Lest you wish to feel my wra- " BANG Vulture started to spasm, he dropped from the sky and hit the ground with a crunch, Spidey looked at Deadpool

" What? " Deadpool shrugged " He was boring me " Deadpool replaced his gun into it's holder, for once, Spidey was glad that he had brought Deadpool along and that Deadpool had used that paralysing shot – it ended this before a fight! Although, the kid had used the distraction to escape and Spidey wanted to know what his connection with Vulture was. Spidey webbed Vulture to a nearby lamppost for the police to deal with, but, if he awoke before the boys in blue could deal with him, Spidey would extract the info he needed from Vulture himself.

(Spidey internal monologue) _" I don't believe it? Deadpool took down Toomes without breaking a sweat! No blood! No collateral damage! No casualties! I __know I should be happier, but, to do it so easily. Can't help but feel like a loser! Hmmmm... Maybe I should get Tony to make ME one of those guns? Would sure make 'my' life a heck of a lot easier! "_

" What IS it with your villains taking on animal identities? " asked Deadpool with a slight touch of humour " First a rhino, now a vulture – there's a gorgeous black cat, then there's an octopus, a scorpion, a lizard, a chameleon, a vampire bat, a – a ... does a goblin count? " Spidey turned to face Deadpool

" No, a goblin is a fictional being - not classed as an animal " he informed him " Maybe it's 'cause I'm an animal persona myself? " he offered

" AARRHHH! YA IDIOTS! " Deadpool and Spidey spun round, a shadowy figure stood on a rooftop across the street from them, something about the figure and voice seemed familiar

" Ya think he's talking to US? " Deadpool jested, the figure jumped down, Spidey's eyes bulged in disbelief, the figure stood across the street from them

" Logan? " Spidey inquired bemused

" LOGAN! BUDDY! Deadpool said joyously throwing open his arms and walking towards Wolverine "We've been looking all over New York for ya!... Logan? " Deadpool stopped, Logan was staring at him with murderous intent whilst shaking with rage

" Errrh, Deadpool " Spidey started nervously

" Yeah " Deadpool replied casually over his shoulder

" You might wanna run " suggested Spidey with a hint of urgency

" Ahlright bub, time ta finish whut ah started back at Avengers Tower " Wolverine said menacingly with his eyes fixed on Deadpool and unsheathing his claws

" Logan! You remembered to call me bub " Deadpool said with patronizing delight

" Logan no! " Spidey began to protest

" Stay outta this slim! " barked Wolverine motioning with his left hand for Spidey to stop. Deadpool pulled out his katana and twirled them about

" ASSASSIN DRAGON FANG STANCE! " Deadpool announced striking a pose, which consisted of him balancing on one leg with one arm outstretched in front and the other behind, the other leg was bent at the knee and raised to his chest, Spidey facepalms

" Whutevah? " Logan remarked unperturbed and readied himself crouching. Deadpool and Wolverine began to circle each other. A few tense moments passed as they eyed each other up – waiting for an opening. Spidey watched in horror as Wolverine and Deadpool charged at one another, Deadpool blocked Wolverine's attack, spun to the right and slashed across Wolverine's back causing a massive cut from the top of his left shoulder diagonally to his lower back. Wolverine turned round and they circled each other again. Spidey wasn't sure what to do? (Spidey internal monologue) _" Okay sooo, we've achieved our objective of locating Logan. Only problem is – he's pissed off and wants to fight! Great... guess I should call in The Avengers as back-up? But I can't stand here and wait from them while these guys fight! I 'could' join the fight and hope to make them both see sense?... Make them see sense! Ha ha hah yeah right! Ones blinded by rage and the other isn't playing with a full deck! No way either of them are gonna see sense... aww man, why? Why did WE have to find Logan? " _Spidey heard a shout and saw Wolverine flying backwards towards him! He jumped out the way in the nick of time thanks to his 'Spider-Sense'. Spidey crouched down to the fallen Wolverine

" Look Logan – you don't have to do this! " Spidey pleaded

" Heh heh – ya a good kid, and I know I don't 'have' to – I 'want' to! " Wolverine replied with a smirk, Spidey shook his head and webbed Wolverine to the street

" Grrraaahh! Ya gonna regret that kid! " Wolverine threatened through clenched teeth

" Alright Spidey! " shouted Deadpool appreciatively " The Motor Mouths are back in action! " he said with pride

" I thought I told you NOT to call us that! " scolded Spidey

" Why? It sounds cool " Deadpool justified. With Spidey distracted arguing with Deadpool, Wolverine was able to cut the webbing and free himself unnoticed, he then lunged at Spidey, who, back-flipped over him, leaving Deadpool open to Wolverine impaling his claws into his chest knocking him to the ground. Wolverine stood on Deadpool's stomach and pulled his claws from Deadpool's chest and jumped to the side, as Deadpool checked the damage Wolverine motioned for him to get up

" Whut's tha matter Wilson? Lost ya killer instinct " Wolverine goaded, Deadpool sprang to his feet fully healed, although the same could not be said about Spidey's costume

" Alright, no more Mr. nice guy " declared Deadpool twirling his katana, he then returned them to their attachments on his back, Wolverine cocked an eyebrow – Deadpool then pulled out his guns, Wolverinesmirked. Deadpool, by way of fight with 'Unknown', knew the paralysing shot couldn't be continuously used so he needed to line-up his shot carefully. But Wolverine was too fast and he lunged at Deadpool and swiped at his right hand, severing it at the wrist, his hand splatted on the street

" Oh maaan " Deadpool whined " HEY SPIDEY! I NEED A HAND*! Ha ha ha ha ha " Spidey was amazed – even with a limb missing he was still joking, like it didn't matter.

_*Note: Obvious, over used joke I know – my apologies*_

Spidey quickly webbed Wolverine, again, much to Wolverine's dismay. Deadpool picked up his severed hand and placed it on his stub, a few moments later he started to get feeling back in it

" No need to worry Spidey, it's healing nicely " Deadpool said, Spidey nodded in acknowledgement wishing that he had an accelerated healing ability so he too could recklessly throw himself into battle. Deadpool picked up his gun and re-holstered them

" So ya takin' his side? " Wolverine sneered

" Of course he is! " Deadpool chirped "We are The Motor Mouths!" he declared

" Oh brother " Spidey sighed lowering his head in embarrassment

" Look Deadpool, we are Avengers – not Motor Mouths" explained Spidey, turning to face Deadpool inadvertently turning his back on Wolverine

" Ah don't know, seems ta sum ya up " mocked Wolverine, Spidey glanced over his shoulder to see Wolverine grinning ear to ear and grinding his claws together with glee " Now where was we Wilson? " Spidey couldn't believe it, once again, Deadpool's distraction enabled Wolverine to use his claws to break free from Spidey's webbing, Spidey started to think Deadpool was doing this on purpose, that he too wanted to fight. Spidey decided to let them get it out of their system and would try to stop any innocent casualties or unnecessary collateral damage.

Deadpool and Wolverine again circled each other, Deadpool pulled out his katana and tapped them together inviting Wolverine to attack. Wolverine rushed Deadpool, Deadpool cartwheeled to safety laughing while he did so, Wolverine swiped, he caught Deadpool across the face, Deadpool retaliated with a katana across Woverine's face. Wolverine blinded swiped wildly in Deadpool's direction. Deadpool rolled to the left managing to cut Logan's left leg, Logan spun round enraged and stabbed at Deadpool who was down on one knee and instinctively shoved both katana into Wolverine's chest. An evil smile crept across Wolverine's face, he forced himself down the blades until his chest was touching the hilt guards of Deadpool's katana

" Surprise bub! " Wolverine slashed away at Deadpool cutting him as fast as he healed! Deadpool held onto the katana and kicked Wolverine hard sending him flying of the blades and into the ground, Deadpool put away his katana and whipped out his gun instead, aiming them at Wolverine

" Heh, guns again huh Wilson? " Wolverine stated rhetorically " Ya know they ain't gonna stop me right? "

" We'll see " Deadpool said with a hint of smugness

" STANDA DOWN AGENT WOLVAREENE! " shouted Black Widow, she was accompanied by a dozen SHIELD agents. Spidey and Deadpool froze, Woverine reluctantly retracted his claws, as Spidey looked around all he could think was _Agent Wolverine?_

**Next Time:** Deadpool: Revelations!

Where has Wolverine been hiding?

What is the 'Unknown' being and what is SHIELD's involvement?

Why do SHIELD want to be a public global police force?

Find out all this and more revealed in the next chapter!


	11. Deadpool: Revelations!

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 11

Deadpool: Revelations!

Black Widow motioned with her fingers to the SHIELD agents who, promptly went over to The Vulture, cut him down and handcuffed him. One of the agents put two fingers to his left ear and called for pick-up. Vulture started to mumble and groan as the paralysis began to wear off. Spidey motioned for Deadpool to put away his guns, which he did and made his way over to Spidey. Black Widow waved Wolverine over to her, Wolverine begrudgingly walked over stood beside her and folded his arms in a huff and grumbled under his breath. Spidey approached Black Widow and Wolverine with Deadpool in tow

"Okay – just what the hell is going on here?" he asked perplexed, looks were exchanged, but silence is all he received. _Figures_ he thought, Wolverine stared threateningly at Deadpool who, just couldn't resist taunting him

"You are sooooo lucky Logan, I was totally kicking your ass!" he stated with conviction, Wolverine frowned  
>"Huh? Whut fight were 'you' in?" he asked as if he had a conflicting opinion<p>

"The one in which I was serving your ass to you" Deadpool restated in a mocking tone "That was until your girlfriend here stopped it" he said pointing to Black Widow,

"GRAAAAH! SHUT ET WILSON!" Wolverine shouted in frustration

"Ha ha ha haah, you soooo 'like' her don'tcha Logan" Deadpool teased "Kissy, kissy, kissy" he teasingly continued, clasping his hands together and doing kissing sound effects, Wolverine's eyes went wild, his face red with embarrassment, Spidey shook his head whilst rubbing his temples

"AH'LL KILL YA!" Wolverine shouted unsheathing his right claw and lunging at Deadpool, who, calmly ducked and scampered behind Spidey, using him as a human shield

"ENUFF! Bowv ov you stop!" commanded Black Widow, Wolverine glanced over his shoulder at Black Widow, growled and retracted his claw and returned to his folded arms position beside Black Widow

"Anything for a pretty lady" Deadpool said in an overly obliging, sickly sweet, creepy 'chat-up guy' tone

"Ehhk!" Black Widow sneered in disdain, scowling at Spidey she said coldly "I would appreciate yowr 'friend' noht ta provok my agent thank you" Spidey nodded

"Errh, o-kay" turns to Deadpool "Okay, pleeese try not to piss off the big, bad, SHIELD lady or she will make our lives unbearable" he said in a patronizingly pleading tone with hands in prayer, Deadpool nodded, Spidey placed both of his hands on Deadpool's shoulders in an effort to convey seriousness "Please I do NOT need anymore aggro"

"Ah told ya it was a mistake takin' 'him' in as an Avenger" Wolverine remarked like a broken record

"Reeeally?" Spidey said turning to face Wolverine "I don't recall 'Deadpool' rupturing a 'non-super powered' human's testicle?" he challenged

"Grrrh!" was all Wolverine could respond, turning his head away sharply. Spidey took it as confirmation that, it was indeed, Wolverine who committed that atrocity

"In FACT" Spidey continued "Deadpool, for all of his antics, has 'actually' proved to be a useful addition to the Avengers!" Spidey said defending Deadpool, he turned his attention to Black Widow "And Black Widow 'I' would appreciate it if YOU kept YOUR agent under control and not allow him to provoke Deadpool" he said with authority, Black Widow smirked in contempt poking the side of her cheek with her tongue as her words were used against her

"Very whell Spidar-Man" she said calmly

"Thanks" whispered Deadpool in Spidey's ear, suddenly, Vulture started shouting

"YOU FOOL SPIDER-MAN! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE? SHIELD HAVE FOOLED YOU ALL!" his words seemed sincere and the fear in his eyes genuine. Spidey and Deadpool looked at each other, then at Wolverine and Black Widow for answers

"SHUT 'IM UP! NOW!" Black Widow ordered "AN' WHERE IS THAT DAMN PICK UP?" the agents smacked Vulture in the back of the head and knocked him out cold, just then the pick-up arrived and the agents - hauling Vulture - boarded

"What did Vulture mean?" Spidey asked, Black Widow and Wolverine ignored him and headed to the pick-up

"HEY! I asked you a question!" Spidey demanded

"Yeah!" Deadpool chimed

"Go away Spidar-Man. An' take 'im wiv you" Black Widow said dismissively pointing at Deadpool, who, looked around searching for the person she was pointing at "Be thankful I don't arrest you, yes" she warned

"Arrest us?" Spidey exclaimed in disbelief "For what?"

"Yeah! For what?" Deadpool echoed

"Impeeding a SHIELD oparation and attaking an agent ov SHIELD" answered Black Widow

"What?" Spidey shook his head "That's a loada crap!"

"Yeah! A loada crap!" echoed Deadpool, again, Black Widow sighed

"Agent Wolvareene was tasked wiv traking down Vulture's base ov oparation, Joey Bozarski was tha leed as he was meeting Vulture" she said

"Joey, who?" Spidey questioned a little bemused

"Yeah! Who?" echoed Deadpool, once again

"Bozarski" Wolverine barked "tha kid ya bumped inta" he spat looking at Deadpool, Spidey motioned that he understood

"Aaaactually, he bump-" Deadpool started to correct only for Spidey to motioned for him to stop as now is not the time for this, Deadpool motioned zipping up his lips

"He was ta geeve Vulture some infarmation an' then Wolvareene was ta follow 'im ta 'is B.O.O.* However, yowr 'friend' incapacitated The Vulture, impeeding tha oparation" Black Widow stated with contempt.

_***Base Of Operation**_

"Oh come oooon" Spidey whined swiping the air with his hands "How were WE supposed to know that?" he challenged

"Yeah!" Deadpool chimed yet again, Spidey looked over his shoulder at Deadpool

"Okay – that's getting a 'little' annoying"

"Okay. Sorry" apologised Deadpool

"It does noht change tha fakts" Black Widow stated coldly

"Okay. What exactly did you want with Vulture?" inquired Spidey. Black Widow looked away refusing to answer "... And what about Logan? You keep calling him 'agent' Wolverine" Wolverine smirked, Black Widow sighed

"I fought that was ovious at dis point. He is an agent ov SHIELD" Black Widow turned on her heels and quick marched, with Wolverine stomping behind her, to and into the pick-up. Spidey and Deadpool watched as the pick-up took off, Spidey couldn't help but run over Vulture's words _SHIELD has fooled you all_ what did it mean? Spidey motioned for Deadpool to climb on his back, which Deadpool did, he spun a web and swung off – heading for Avenger's Tower. Sensing the severity of what just happened Deadpool managed to, out of respect, keep quiet the whole trip.

Back at Avenger's Tower, Spidey rushed to find Captain America and/or Iron Man only to run-into MJ!

"Hey MJ" he said casually "Have you seen Cap' or Tony?" MJ glared at him poking the side of her cheek with her tongue "MJ?... What's the matter?" he continued in earnest

"Are. You. Serious?" MJ declared, Spidey nodded. Enraged she slapped him hard across the face "Bastard!" with that she stormed off down the living quarters, Spidey called after her

"MJ! MJ!... MJ?" she slammed their bedroom door causing both Spidey and Deadpool to tense up at the sound

"Duuude, did you forget that you left her on a roof and forgot about her? Ha ha ha ha" Spidey suddenly felt sick with the sudden realization of his own ignorance, and to be reminded by Deadpool of all people! _Crap!_ He thought, _as if leaving her on a roof weren't bad enough, I then forget I did it! _Deadpool put his hand on Spidey's shoulder and joked

"Maybe you should consider getting a lawyer for the upcoming divorce ha ha ha ha ha hah!"

"Sooo not the time for this Deadpool" Spidey replied seriously

"Okay, perhaps a gift and heart-felt apology is in order?" Deadpool suggested

"Later. Right now I've got to tell Cap' and Tony about Wolverine" Spidey dismissed

"Now, I don't know much about love, women and stuff but, from where 'I'm' standing, choosing to make things right with MJ over your duties as an Avenger will prove you love her, surely she will appreciate the sentiment – right?" Spidey was speechless, stunned by Deadpool's insight. He mulled it over and Deadpool was right, in theory, but, _with great power comes great responsibility, _he cannot neglect his duties as an Avenger and risk the lives of many. Not even for his wife. Sensing Spidey's hesitation Deadpool offered "Look, I will tell Cap' and Iron Man about Logan, okay? You go make things up with MJ. If 'I' had a woman like MJ, I'd do ANYTHING in my power to make things right with her" Spidey took a deep breath and slow released it

"Okay, I'm counting on you Deadpool" Deadpool saluted, Spidey headed down the sleeping quarters stopped, removed his mask and looked over his shoulder "Thank you Deadpool" Deadpool nodded and Pete walked off to his room.

Deadpool heads towards the lab, he stopped short of the door hearing voices, he presses his back against the wall and listens

"... operator told me. That means SHIELD are refusing my calls Tony"

"Hmmmm... maybe we should wait and see what happens next?"

"Wait and see? Before you know it, they will have made us obsolete"

"... Maybe that's not such a bad thing"

"What?"

"Steve. You seriously can't be saying that if SHIELD were legit and able to cope with all the super-powered villains, that you'd be unhappy at not having to risk your life day in and day out?"

"I don't know about YOU Tony, but I am honoured to serve my country in anyway I can. I take pride at putting my life on the line in order to defend it from people who would do others harm"

"Okay. I understand Steve, I was just... look. SHIELD are gonna be around whether we like it or not. Give them some time before you start a campaign against them, yeah"

"... fine. But I still don't like this"

"Neither do I"

Deadpool jumps in

"Hey guys!" Steve and Tony jump in surprise and turn to face him "Soooo... me and Pete were chilling when, a birdman talked at us – so I tranq'd him – then my old friend Logan shows up only, he is working for SHIELD now, not quite sure why? His girlfriend Black Widow was pretty untalkative - I don't think she likes me – then birdman warned us that SHIELD had fooled us. Not sure myself but, Pete seems to believe birdman and... yeah! That pretty much sums up what happened..." announced Deadpool in a rush, he looks at Steve "Oh! The kid we apprehended the other day was involved with birdman and Logan was tracking him... now that's all... yeah" Steve and Tony are speechless. Moments pass and Deadpool grows a little uncomfortable at the prolonged silence

"Should I go and come back later or...?" Deadpool asks

"No. It's okay son. You gave us a lot to process" Steve said whilst in his thoughts of what Deadpool had just revealed

"Yeah... not sure what to make of what you said, especially Logan hiding out at SHIELD right?" Tony thought aloud

"Yep" Deadpool confirmed

"Why would he do that? And what did this... 'birdman' mean by SHIELD has fooled us?" Steve ask Deadpool with a puzzled look upon his face

"You may wanna speak to Pete about that" Deadpool informed "But!... I'd leave it awhile. He's apologising to MJ, again" he warned

"Okay. Noted" Steve nodded. Steve nods to Tony and heads out of the lab and to the living quarters.

"Well, while you're here and seeing as the Spidey costume you're wearing is" Tony points at Deadpool who, looks himself over at the ripped and bloodied classic Spidey costume "Well - a little worse for wear, it seems I've got your new Iron Deadpool costume ready just in time"

"Huh? Awesome!" Deadpool exlaimed delighted that he FINALLY, after 10 chapters of this nonsense of a story, got a new costume like Spidey's

"Ha ha hah, you haven't seen it yet" Tony self-consciously excused

"If it's anything like Pete's – then it'll be awesome" Deadpool reassured. Tony led Deadpool to his new costume. Deadpool gazed upon it, he was unusually speechless. The costume was designed very similar to his normal red and black one only, the red was replaced with the dark crimson red of the Iron-Man and Spidey costumes. The black detail was replaced with gold detail and black trimming and finally the white eye lenses now glow a neon blue. As Deadpool stared in wonder and amazement, Tony began to tell him about the new suit

"Okay. Deadpool, your new suit is designed in the same way as Pete's, meaning – it is bullet and knife proof, not that you need it to be" Tony informed with some humour, Deadpool chuckled, Tony continued "Although I think Logan's claws can still penetrate it, but being of the same material as Pete's, it does mean you have freedom of movement. It also has a HUD computer installed in the eye lenses which, can help with targeting, co-ordinates and enemy assessment, I've preloaded it with data from this Towers databanks with all known enemies. Also has some wrist blades, though not as long as your katana, they will help in close quarters or when unarmed all you need do is bang your wrists together like this" Tony forms an X with his arms and bangs his forearms together in the X shape

"Cool!" Deadpool exclaims with excitement, Tony picks up costume and hands it to Deadpool

"Here you go – try it out" he said smiling

"Don't miiiind iffa do" Deadpool replied joyously, quickly grabbing the costume from Tony's hand. Tony was startled and amused at Deadpool's enthusiasm and wished that some of the others reacted the same when presented with gifts from him, Pete is the only one that came close when he received his Iron-Spidey suit. However, Tony's smiled faded when Deadpool started stripping right in front of him

"Erh, Deadpool – didn't you want to go in another room or something?" Tony pleaded whilst turning his back to the horror that was unfolding in front of him

"Nah! Besides, we're both adults right? I've got nothing you ain't seen before" Deadpool said standing completely nude with hands on hips. Tony made the mistake of looking in front of him for, there was a pane of glass which reflected into Tony's eyes the image of Deadpool, whom is horrifically scarred from head to toe, naked with hands on hips. Tony recoiled at the image, then, an unknown force compelled him to cast his eyes down the reflection towards Deadpool's groin. He couldn't explain it, but, with a body that scarred he just HAD to take a peek at his crotch. However, nothing could prepare him from what he saw, I Darth Hel'eon will spare you the image as I do not wish to give you sleepless nights, but rest assured it was so horrific Tony was struck dumb and could/would never ever mention it. Tony slowly and shakily in a trance, left the Lab, headed to his private quarters and crawled into his bed gripping the sheets tightly, afraid to close his eyes for fear of seeing it again. Deadpool slipped on the Iron-Deadpool suit, the material felt nice and soothing against his skin, he adjusted the suit, threw a few punches and kicks to get a feel of it and realized Tony was gone

"Tony?... TOOOONEEEEEY?... Huh? Musta gone to bed early" Deadpool concluded to himself, he shrugged and continued to get use to his awesome new suit. He tried banging his forearms together WHUSHKIIING two blades sprung from his wrists

"Nice" Deadpool murmured approvingly, he then fought off invisible adversaries in some sorta play acting.

Meanwhile. Spidey was trying to apologises to MJ. He was outside the door of their room begging MJ to forgive him in a one way conversation with himself

"... MJ, please talk to me" Pete waited for a response. Nothing. He persevered "C'mon MJ, please. I know I've messed up big time, but, if you don't talk to me then- "

"Weren't you looking for Steve and Tony?" she finally snapped

"Yeah – but, you're more important... look, I know there is nothing I can do to make-up for what I did but..."

"You don't get it do you?" MJ interrupted

"Get what?" Pete asked

"It's more than just leaving me on a rooftop" MJ replied "It's about how being an Avenger was supposed to mean you could spend more time with me, the fact you wouldn't end up teaming with 'her' and – and *sigh* you STILL go out EVERY night and you STILL teamed up with 'HER'. What about ME Pete? I'm your WIFE!" Pete was a little taken back

"MJ, I... I didn't realize. It's hard adjusting to team life after being on my own for so long. Going out every night on patrol is a routine that I cannot stop. If I take a night off, that's the day something bad will happen and I will feel it's my fault" he tried to justify, pressing his back on the door and cupping his forehead with his left hand

"You put too much pressure on yourself" stated MJ empathetically

"I know. But..." Pete slides down against the door to a seated position, tilting his head back, resting against the door

"Pete, it's alright to take a night off once and a while. After all, you're not the only hero around. There is a whole team of heroes in this tower alone, any one of them able to save the city from a crazy super-powered nut-job" Pete contemplated MJ's words (Spidey internal monologue) _"I so wanna take time __off with MJ. But, the way my life goes, I take a day off and someone dies... although, I now have a team of friends to fall back on. Maybe MJ's right. With SHIELD now policing New York and The Avengers, Daredevil and Fantastic Four all operating here – maybe, just maybe yours truly can take a day-off"_ Pete takes in a deep breath and slow releases

"... okay MJ. How about tonight?" he offers

"What?" MJ says startled

"Tonight. You and me go out, I'll treat you to dinner or something. You name it and we'll do it" Pete says slowly coming round to the idea

"Really?" MJ says a little flabbergasted, her head spinning as Pete was actually agreeing to this

"Sure. You're right MJ. One night off isn't gonna hurt" Pete continued with resolve and conviction, MJ looked at the bedside clock

"It's a little too late to go now Pete" she said disappointed

"Uh – okay. How about tomorrow, we spend the day together" Pete rectified emphatically "You and me, no Spider-Man. Wadda ya say?" MJ's heart skipped a beat as she became excited by the thought, but, she did not allow herself to get too carried away

"I would love to but, I know Spider-Man will make an appearance" she countered, with a little doubt

"MJ, if something happens, The Avengers can deal with it. I promise" Pete said reassuringly

"Is that a 'Parker' promise?" MJ teased

"Ouch MJ" Pete mocked, she giggled

"I'm only teasing. Okay -" the door opens, Pete falls backward, he lays on his back staring upward at MJ "Tomorrow. We spend the whole day together right?" she confirmed looking down at him

"Absolutely!" Pete jumped to his feet "We'll do anything you want" he reaffirms, MJ looks him in the eyes and his sincerity shines through and she smiles

"Come 'ere Tiger!" she says throwing her arms around Pete and pulling him towards her

"Woah! MJ!" Pete said in surprise. She locks her lips onto his and passionately kisses him, Pete rests his arms around MJ's lower back for support and thinks that maybe, just maybe his luck is changing and tomorrow will be awesome.

Next day. Steve is in the kitchen having his early morning routine coffee when, Pete bounds in energetically with a massive grin on his face

"I see you and Mary Jane have settled your differences " Steve remarked with a knowing smirk

"Not quite" Pete replied "To seal the deal I'm taking MJ out for the day" Pete declared excitedly "If it's okay by you?" he quickly added apologetically

"Son, you don't have to ask permission to take your wife out" Steve stated "But thank you for letting me know, that's all I ask"

"Okay. Thanks" Steve watched as Pete made two sets of breakfasts whilst whistling to himself, Steve smiled as he took another sip of his coffee

"Hungry?" Steve said jokingly, knowing full well Pete wasn't planning on eating both breakfasts

"Hah! Funny" Pete remarked "Actually, I thought I'd treat MJ to breakfast in bed"

"Lucky woman. Be sure to enjoy today and have fun, son – that's an order" Steve jested

"Ha ha, yeah sure will" Pete smiled putting all the food on a tray. He picked it up and was about to head out the kitchen when he stopped and turned to Steve "I've been meaning to ask" Pete started which caused Steve to stopping drinking his coffee and cock an eyebrow "Deadpool mentioned that there was no longer a bounty on his head. Did you have anything to do with it?" Steve smiled

"Tony and I had a word, yes"

"A word? And just like that ol' J.J withdraws the bounty?" Pete challenged

"Something like that" Steve said slyly

"C'mon Cap, how did you convince him" Pete pleaded

"Well, we said that we were willing to let Deadpool go from The Avengers and that without us to control him, who do you think he is going to blame for his dismissal? And who has no qualms about killing people?"

"Ha ha, so, you blackmailed Jameson"

"Blackmail is such a nasty word. I prefer to think of it as strategic negotiating, son" Steve corrected with a wry smile "Anyway, haven't you got a lovely lady to entertain"

"Heh, yeah okay... thanks for saving Deadpool's butt" Pete said appreciatively, Steve nodded and Pete headed to his room to surprise his wife with breakfast in bed. Moments later Tony staggers in to the kitchen like a zombie murmuring to himself. Steve watches as Tony tries to pour some water in a glass only to overfill the glass

"Tony!" Steve got up switched off the tap and shook Tony "What's the matter with you?" Tony wide-eyed stared through Steve mumbling incoherently, Steve threw the glass of water in Tony's face, suddenly Tony came to

"What the?" he spluttered grabbing a cloth to dry his face

"You were in a trance of some sort, had to snap you out of it somehow"

"Really? Wait..." Tony looked around and realized he was in the kitchen "... last thing I remember is -" Tony's eyes glazed over as he recalled last nights events

"What is it Tony?" Steve asked concernedly

"Nothing" he croaked in reply and hurried off back to his private quarters. Steve was a little bemused, he was starting to think he had woke up in the twilight zone, with Pete up early and overly happy to Tony very unlike himself He wondered what the rest of the day had in store for him.

Later. Steve is watching the morning news, Luke Cage walks in raised a hand in greeting Steve nods. Cage grabs himself a drink and joins Steve

"Much happen?" Cage asks pointing to the T.V

"Nothing out of the ordinary. How are you this morning?" Steve asks

"Me? I'm cool. Why ya ask?" Cage replied a little warily

"Just been a bit of a strange morning" Steve said

"Oh?" Cage raised an eyebrow in intrigue

"Yeah. Pete was up early and over excited and Tony well, he was stumbling around in some sorta trance" Steve said informatively.

Meanwhile. Deadpool was getting dressed in his brand spanking new Iron-Deadpool suit. He was heading out of his room when he bumped into Pete and MJ

"Hey Pete. MJ" Deadpool greeted them

"Hey Deadpool, sorry can't stop. Taking my lovely wife out into the city for the day" Pete said

"Erh, okay. Have fun!" Deadpool replied somewhat disheartened at the fact Pete wasn't going to be around

"Thanks. Please don't get into any trouble while I'm gone" Pete half-joked

"ME? Trouble? Pssht don't worry Pete. You have my word – I will not be the cause of any trouble. Me be a good boy" Deadpool self-mocked

"Ha ha hah, yeah right. I'll believe THAT when I see it" Pete jokes. Pete then leads MJ into the T.V room, Deadpool follows "Okay everyone. I'm taking the gorgeous Mrs Watson-Parker out for the day. I promised her NO Spider-Man for the whole day so, please, look after New York for me" everyone laughs, they say there goodbye's and best wishes and Pete and MJ leave. Deadpool jumps over the back of the sofa into a seated position, he looks at the T.V

"Aww maaaan. The news again" he complained lowering his head defeatedly

"Yes. The news again" Steve affirmed with a smile

"C'mon Deadpool, ya needs ta know whuts goin' on in tha world, man" Cage

"But IIIIIII wanna watch cartoooooons" Deadpool whined. Steve and Cage chuckled, Tony entered

"Tony. Feeling better?" Steve asked, Tony stood behind the sofa

"Lots, thank you Steve. Jarvis gave me something which seems to have settled me" he replied

"That's good. Was worried we'd have to sit you out today. We are already two men down. What with Logan at SHIELD and Pete having a day-off" Steve stated

"Day-off?" Tony inquired raising an eyebrow

"Yes. I think it has something to do with making it up with his wife for that little incident" Steve said

"I'd hardly call leaving your wife on a roof and forgetting her 'a little incident' " Deadpool jested

"Ha ha guess not" Tony remarked

A little after 12 noon. Deadpool is chilling watching cartoons and thinking about what to have for lunch when, he notices something outside the window. He slowly rises to his feet to take a closer look

"Erh guys. GUYS!" he yells, a few moments later Steve, Tony and Cage rush in

"What's the matter soldier?" Steve asks, Deadpool points out the window

"A SHIELD carrier?" Steve states in question

"Not just 'any' SHIELD carrier. The Command Center SHIELD carrier" Tony clarifies "Well, looks like you'll get that 'chat' you wanted now huh Steve" he adds facetiously. Steve folds his arms and sighs, he has a baaaad feeling about this.

Moments later. Spider-Woman enters the Avengers Tower in an effort to pacify The Avengers for Black Widow's arrival. She entered the T.V room, The Avengers were standing, talking amongst themselves, they met her with guarded stares, well, everyone except Deadpool, he was more concerned with laying on the sofa watching T.V

"Jess. What's the meaning of this?" Steve demanded

"There was an incident at SHIELD. SHIELD requires our help – Natasha will explain more" Spider-Woman replies meekly, a little overwhelmed with all the stares

"Incident? What kind of 'incident' exactly" Steve said suspiciously

"I – can't say. You'll have to wait for Natasha" Spider-Woman replied rubbing her left arm with her right in an effort to placate her discomfort

"Why can't 'you' tell us Jess?" Tony asked

"Because I don't know all the details" said Spider-Woman

"HA HA HAH HA HA HA – oh man... heh heh" Deadpool expressed amused, everyone looks at him

"What?" Deadpool shrugged and carried on watching T.V

"So where 'is' Natasha?" Steve asked folding his arms

"She's waiting for my word that you'll allow her entry into Avengers Tower. When you are ready" Spider-Woman revealed

"When since da SHIELD need permission ta enter? Don't they jus' do whut eva tha hell they want" challenged Cage in disdain

"SHIELD need you to be co-operative. Barging in here would only strengthen your reluctance to work with them" Spider-Woman explained

"So you're here to mediate then, help 'prepare' us for her majesty's arrival" Tony said with a hint of sarcasm

"Yes. Shall I radio in and say you're ready for Natasha?" Spider-Woman asked. Steve and Tony nod "SHIELD. This is agent Jessica Drew. Codename. Spider-Woman. Permission for admittance for agent Natasha Romanov. Codename. Black Widow to enter Avengers Tower given. Over"

"... acknowledged" an undisclosed agent of SHIELD responded

10 minutes of awkward silence later. Natasha marches in alone. She stands to attention with legs shoulder width apart and hands behind back

"You may sit if you wish" Steve offered rising from his seat and motioning to his chair

"I prefur ta stand, thank you" Natasha said sternly. Steve sat back down

"So what's this all about?" he asked

"Since Col. Nick Fury went inta hiding after owa 'Secret War' in Latveria, he 'as 'ad contingency plans put inta aktion – what I am abowt ta tell you is abov top sekret so, pleese akt akordingly" Black Widow began

"Why are you telling us then?" Tony interjected

"Pleese. No questions 'till I hav finished, yes. As I was saying – when certain events happen, kriteria met an' triggars pulled, Nick Fury 'ad plans fur what ta do. Something 'as happened an' in akordance wiv Fury's will, I am ta tell you everything in ordar ta gain yowr assistance in a delicate matter. Fury knew you wouldn't help if you didn't know tha fakts. So, I'll start wiv SHIELD bekoming public guardians, wiv tha impending 'Hero Registration Act' – which IS going ahead – Fury 'ad a special unit set-up konsisting ov super-powered herows, bekause tha president didn't like us working wiv 'you' vigilantes. So, tha sub-division 'ad young kids/mutants an' herows who wanted ta go legeet. Fury said that 'any' hero was welcome ta join – they just 'ad ta adhere ta SHIELD's authority. A benefit is, even when tha 'Hero Registration Act' passes – which requires you ta expose yowr civilian identity – herows wiv SHIELD retain their anonymity. Only SHIELD will know yowr identity.

For it ta work effectively, SHIELD needs ta gain public favar by being authorized herows an' not vigilantes. That way, herows will be more willing ta join an' tha public akcepting ov said herows.

Which leads me ta tha unpleasant business tha othar day. Now pleese do noht get upset but, tha kreature you fowt was kreated by SHIELD" revealed Black Widow, Steve was dismayed and was shaking his head, everyone else was giving Black Widow dirty looks, she carried on "Tha kreature or 'Unknown' as it has been reported, was kreated an' released by SHIELD in an orkestrated attempt ta -"

"WHAT?" Steve exclaimed rising from his seat

"Hmpfh. Knew it!" remarked Cage, Black Widow continued

"Pleese. Kalm down. It was a kalkulated reesk. Tha 'Unknown' was specially designed ta be vulnerable ta a certain sownd frequency – one ta which 'we' 'ad special guns calibrated to. So, you see, 'we' 'ad a way ov stopping it. The only problem was 'you' herows. 'We' needed SHIELD ta stop an' kontain this threat wivout hero assistance ta establish SHIELD as a superior force. One ta which you can join" answered Black Widow

"For God's sake! Just when I think SHIELD can't get any more devious, you pull this. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY LIVES YOU PUT AT RISK WITH THAT STUNT? DO YOU?" Steve challenged enraged. Everone was now standing. Natasha remained calm

"Zero Deaths, Twenty-Six casualties an' Two-Hundred an' Eleven-Thousand dollars in kollateral. It 'ad tha desired owtkome, namely New York are bekoming trusting ov SHIELD" she replied analytically

"This is NOT the way to gain the public's trust – trust by deception is counter intuitive to what you aim to achieve" Steve states, Black Widow remained unemotional "Jess! Did you know about this?" Steve asked

"No.! Of course not!" defended Spider-Woman with sincerity

"It is true. SHIELD did noht trust 'er enuff ta keep it from you" Black Widow verified. Tony, sensing the tension between them, decided to interject

"Why not show us failing and you saving the day on the news report?" Black Widow shook her head

"_*sigh* _This is why Fury didn't offar you a place in SHIELD's 'Hero Task Force' – because you kannot even obey a polite, simple request ov noht interrupting wiv questions... Ta show you failing would ultimately damage tha image ov tha 'Hero Task Force'. We want strong successful herows, we want tha public ta 'ave konfidence in us an' you. Showing you fail would hurt people's konfidence in you an' if you joined us – us too. Now, may I continue?" Black Widow said with a hint of condescension

"You 'maaay' continue – if you 'have' to" Deadpool mocked nonchalantly, Black Widow clenched her teeth and scowled but didn't retaliate, Steve, Tony and Cage sniggered

"... as I mentioned earlier, tha 'Unknown' was kreated by us. It was kreated in ordar ta kreate a super-powered being, one loyal ta an' kontrolled by SHIELD. It would leed tha 'Hero Task Force' against 'any' threat because it would 'ave multiple powers, bowv offensive an' defensive. It was kreated by DNA specimens kollected frum various battlegrounds, inkluding; blud, skin an' hair samples frum various herows and villains" Everyone was speechless, Black Widow decided to capitalize on this and continued "Owa scientists tried ta kombine different powers wiv mixed results. Tha most sukcessful were beings wiv a couple ov powers – any more an' they seem ta go mad or their powers killed them. We kurrently 'ave two sukcessful 'Unknown's' tha one you met tha othar day an' owa 'Super-Unknown'.  
>Which brings me ta why I am here. Tha 'Super-Unknown' 'as eskaped! We need yowr assistance in it's kapchore. That is why Fury wanted you ta know all thees – in tha hope you'll help an' maybe support or even join owa 'Hero Task Force'. So, kan SHIELD kount on yowr assistance?" Black Widow finished revealing. Steve, Tony, Luke, Spider-Woman look at each other speechless<p>

"May we ask some questions?" Tony asked hesitantly, Black Widow sighed

"If it will help ensure yowr ko-oparation" she replied. But, before anybody could ask a questioned

"Where's your boyfriend Logan?" Deadpool shouted. Black Widow glared at him

"Seeing as meetings between you an' agent Wolvareene end in fights an' due ta tha importance ov what I 'ad ta say – I saw it in everyone's interest in keeping you two apart until absolutely necessary" she informed through gritted teeth

"You 'mean' you and Logan had an argument and he's in the doghouse ha ha ha hah!" Deadpool joked in reply. Black Widow was ready to explode but, through her training she was able to keep her cool, she took a breath and addressed Steve

"Captaen Amerika, when we work ta capture tha 'Super-Unknown' 'I' expect you ta keep 'im" points to Deadpool "In line!"

"Sorry Natasha, my soldiers are allowed to speak freely" Steve retorts, Deadpool lifts his mask and sticks his tongue out at Black Widow "But, in this instance" turns to Deadpool who quickly pulls down his mask "I will ask that you, Deadpool, refrain from joking at this time, please" Deadpool nods in compliance and Steve nods in reply

"So, as Deadpool brought it up, why 'is' Logan working for SHIELD?" Tony gingerly asked

"Bekawse we promised 'im that incident, in which he hospitalized a non super-powered human, would disappear" Black Widow said

"That's it?" Steve queried

"Also he liked tha idea ov being able ta do what he does best, besides, he didn't really think you or tha X-men would welcome him back" Black Widow added. Satisfied, The Avengers moved on

"What kind of powers does this 'Super-Unknown' have exactly?" Steve asked

"'is DNA is komprised ov Tha Hulk, Wolvareene, Elektro, Rogue and' tha Venom Symbiote" Black Widow disclosed casually

"WHAT? VENOM'S SYMBIOTE? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" Tony exclaimed panicked

"We found a small sample frum a battle Venom 'ad wiv Spidar-Man. We kept it – just in kase. Tha 'Super-Unknown' seemed ta go mad wiv hatred towards SHIELD, tha symbiote felt this somehow an' persuaded tha 'Super-Unknown' ta break it out an' then it attached itself on tha 'Super-Unknown' an' left, which shocked us, as we fought it would continue ta attack SHIELD?" Black Widow replied, Tony went pale and spun round

"DEADPOOL!" Deadpool jumped "Where did Pete say he was going?" Tony asked knowing him and Pete talk together alot

"Hmmmm...oh, no-where specific, said he was just taking MJ out into the city" Deadpool answered

"Shit! We need to find him Steve – NOW!" Tony said urgently

"Why? We can deal with this without Pete – we promised him a day-off" Steve reminded Tony

"I know – but, his life and MJ's is in danger!" Tony countered

"Why?" Steve inquired, somewhat perplexed at Tony's anxiety

"Because, the Venom symbiote wants to do one thing; KILL! SPIDER-MAN!" Tony exclaimed, everyone looked tense

"Really?" Steve said

"Yes. That's why when the symbiote attached itself to the 'Super-Unknown' it broke off it's attack on SHIELD. The symbiote is 'using' the 'Super-Unknown' to kill Spider-Man!" Tony explained

"MJ is gonna be soooo piiiiiissed" Deadpool jested. Steve threw him a scolding look "Sorry" he apologised. Black Widow radioed in to SHIELD command for the 'Super-Unknown' search teams to find it quickly and look out for Pete. The rest suit-up and head off to the Quinnjet hanger. Deadpool addresses YOU the reader "_Poor Pete. That dude never seems to be able to catch a break. The only day-off he takes and a homicidal symbiote that has it in for him, has attached itself to an invincible Hulk with regenerative, excellent tracking, electric and power stealing abilities. Not to mention the symbiote gives it Spidey's powers. Maaaan, if I was Pete, I think I woulda gone insane from the constant madness that surrounds him. His parents dying as a kid, failing to act killed his Uncle Ben, accidentally killing his first love Gwen Stacy whilst, ironically, trying to save her, his best friend Harry dying. The Green Goblin always lurking in the shadows waiting to strike with his maniacal games, symbiote hell in Venom and Carnage, that whole turning into a Man-Spider thing, Jolly ol' J. Jonah Jameson trying to convince everyone he's a menace, MJ's miscarriage, oh yeah! That whole clone mess – jeez, it never ends. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I mean you couldn't write this stuff! *sigh* how does he manage to cope with it all?... Well, I guess it isn't all bad. He has a babe like MJ for a wife and a friend like ME!"_ Deadpool returns to the story.

Meanwhile. In a mid-town diner. Peter Parker was treating his gorgeous wife Mary Jane Watson-Parker to a spot of lunch, blissfully unaware of the bombshells Black Widow has dropped on The Avengers. Pete sits down, MJ smiles at him

"I cannot believe it -we've been out for three and a half hours and you've resisted the urge to follow the couple of police sirens we've heard and you haven't mentioned Spider-Man or hero work once. I'm impressed Mr. Parker" Pete chuckled

"Why thank you Mrs Watson-Parker" he retorted with a smile, MJ giggled

"See 'this'. This is what I want to happen more often. I know how much being Spider-Man means to you, but, I just want time together like this once in a while" she stated

"Me too" Pete replied joyously

"Good. Although, I can't shake the feeling that something's not right" MJ said looking out of the window

"M Jaaaay" Pete protested

"... Like this won't last" MJ continued "... Like any minute you're gonna rush off and be Spider-Man-" Pete grabbed MJ's hands and looked her in the eyes in an effort to appease her anxieties

"Look, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. This day is ours, MJ – stop worrying, nothing's gonna happen, okay?"

**Next Time:** Deadpool: End Game

- Who will find Spidey first? The Avengers and SHIELD or the Super-Unknown?

- Will The Avengers be able to capture the Super-Unknown?

- Are SHIELD being totally honest?

- Will Spidey EVER catch a break?

- Find out all this and more in the final chapter!

_- Sorry there is no action in this chapter but, really wanted to get the revelations revealed in one chapter._

_To make up for this chapter, the next chapter is going to be an all-out action finale._

_- Darth Hel'eon_


	12. Deadpool: Endgame

**AVENGERS®**

**Deadpool©**

Chapter 12

Deadpool: End Game

_Okay true believers. This is it! The final chapter._

_Enjoy._

_- Darth Hel'eon_

The Avengers were suited-up and prepared to leave. Iron-Man stomped in – his metal boots echoing of the concrete hangar. He lifted his face plate and said

"Okay – I've just remembered that Pete's suit has a tracker linked to my suit – in order that I could find him in an emergency" the rest of the Avengers look a little wary

"Does Pete know?" asks Steve

"I don't think so" Tony said unsure

"Isn't that a little underhanded?" Steve remarked

"I only use it in emergencies, besides, I think Pete will thank me once we alert him to the Super-Unknown and get MJ to safety" Tony justified

"Don't count on dat" Cage remarked

"Excuse me" said Tony

"Well, ya 'bout ta ruin his date wiv MJ – don't expect him ta say - thank ya Iron-Man for destroying mah date wiv ma wife" Cage pointed out facetiously. Tony smiled, then opened his left arm's control panel, pressed a few buttons and linked his Iron-Suit to the Iron-Spidey suit. He furrowed his brow

"What is it Tony?" Steve inquired

"This cannot be right" Tony stated puzzled "It's telling me the suit is here, in the tower"

"Seems Pete was serious 'bout no Spider-Man t'day" Cage remarked

"I'll go get it!" Deadpool offered

"Okay. I have a feeling he's going to need it" Tony said with a hint of humour. Deadpool rushed off to Pete and MJ's room. He slowly opened the door and tip-toed in careful not to disturb anything. He spotted the suit hanging on the back of a chair and headed to it resisting the urge to grab a pair of MJ's underwear as he went by. He picked up the suit and hurried back to the hangar. Everyone except Iron-Man got into the Quinjet, Iron-Man pulled down his faceplate and linked to the Quinjet communication channels

"_**Checking Comms" **_Iron-Man said

"We read you Tony, over" said Steve

"_**Okay. Good. We will find Pete or the Super-Unknown quicker if we split up" **_Iron-Man suggested. And so, The Avengers set off in search of the Super-Unknown and Pete.

Meanwhile. In a mid-town New York diner Pete sits back in his chair patting his stomach

"Hoo boy, I'm stuffed" Pete declared

"Hope you left room for your dessert, Tiger" MJ said with a seductive smile on her face

"Always MJ" Pete replied with a smile, suddenly, his face went blank, much to the horror of MJ

"What is it?" she asked concernedly

"I – I don't know. It felt like -" Pete began, but screams from outside the diner made him stop and look out the window – a massive black symbiotic monster was charging toward him – instinctively, he leapt over the table and grabbed MJ – cradling her in his arms, shielding her from the glass as the symbiote smashed through the window. Pete twisted his body so that he hit the diner floor and cushioned the fall for MJ before rolling her over "MJ, stay down" he said before springing to his feet to face the symbiote. He looked it over as it knocked civilians out of it's way in disgust. The symbiote was 9ft tall, a mass of muscle and was black in colour with white markings, though they were not in a spider emblem. It had a hideous smile that dominated it's face, in contrast, it's eyes held sadness not malice. It looked like a larger, muscular Venom

"Venom?" Pete asked feeling a little foolish, the symbiote snarled in contempt at him

"**NOoo! WEee aaarre AnguiiiiSH**" it replied in that creepy double voice

"Oh great! ANOTHER crazy symbiote. Just what I need" Pete said sarcastically (Spidey Internal Monologue) _"Great! The one day – __ONE__DAY__ - I take off and a new freakin' symbiote appears. Someone up there hates me. Am I to be continually punished until I die? I mean what have I done to deserve __this? Whatever it is I'm sorry. Truly I am"_

"SEE! I knew this would happen!" MJ proclaimed in contempt, Pete looked down over his shoulder at MJ and threw her a stern look

"Not now MJ!" he pleaded assertively

"**WEee wiiill ****KIIIILL**** yOoou ParkEeer**" spat Anguish menacingly, Pete returned his focus to Anguish

"Yeah. Well, Venom and Carnage have already tried" Pete looks himself over and throws open his arms "Oh look – I'm still here" he mocked

"**Theeey weeerre ****WEAK****" **Anguish sneered "**Ouuur ****HATE**** iSss ssStrooongeeer, due to yeeearsss of imprisssonment paaain, tortuuure and ****ssSufferiiing at the haandsss of ssSHIELD**"

"Then shouldn't you be trying to kill THEM?" Pete suggested

"**Aaall in good tiiime ParkEeer. Firssst thingsss fiiirssst**" Anguish readied itself, Pete had noted people trying to escape and tried stalling for time

"What makes you think you can beat me" Pete challenged

"**Becaussse ssSHIELD gave USss poweeersss; WEee are ssStrongeeer than Hulk, heeeal betteeer than Wolveeerine, have electric capabiiilitiesss and WEee can ssSyphon poweeersss like that X-Maaan Rooogue – not to mentiooon, doooo anything a spideeer caaan HAha HAha HAaah!**" Anguish revealed, Pete was gob-smacked, he looked over his shoulder at MJ

"MJ! Get outta here and call The Avengers" he said, MJ nodded and scrambled to her feet and ran out of the diner, Anguish watched her leave but didn't try to stop her. Pete looked around, noting that fighting in the diner would cause civilian casualties "Okay 'Anguish' waddya say we take this outside?"

"**WEee will Allooow you to choooossse your graaave, ParkEeer**" Anguish replied. Pete leapt outside and up onto the wall of an opposing building.

Meanwhile. Iron-Man is flying through the skies of Manhattan searching for any sign of Pete and/or Super-Unknown when his suit receives a call on the emergency number

"_**Hello" **_Iron-Man said curiously

"Tony! This is MJ. You've got to come quick, Pete's in trouble, it looks like Venom but bigger and he's attacking Pete now" MJ explained panicked

"_**Okay, okay. MJ, calm down. Me and The Avengers are on the way. Just stay in a safe place, okay?" **_Iron-Man said reassuringly

"Please. Hurry" MJ pleaded. Iron-Man, using his HUD computer integrated into his suit, tracked MJ's location via her mobile (_cell if your American_) phone. Iron-Man contacted the Quinjet

"_**Hello anyone read me?" **_he asked

"... Tony. It's Steve, over" came the reply

"_**MJ phoned. The S-U has engaged with Pete, I'm sending the co-ordinates to the Quinjet" **_Iron-Man reported

"... The what? Over"

"_**The Super-Unknown. I'm using S-U now, 'cause it's easier**_"

"... Roger that Tony, over"

"_**Steve. Seriously - you don't need to say 'over' every time you **__**respond"**_

"... actually I do. It allows you to know when I've finished talking. Unlike someone else using this comm channel, over" Steve informs. Iron-Man sighs

"_**Okay Steve. I'll see you at the S-U's location" **_he replied _**"OVER" **_he added with sarcasm. They head to co-ordinates.

Anguish lunges at Pete, who flips over Anguish and kicks it in the back of the head as he does so. Pete lands in a crouched position, Anguish turns round only to receive a ball of webbing in the eyes

"**I dooon't have to ssSee yooou to hit yooou. I haaave the animal ssSensssesss of Wolveeeriiine – I can ssSmeeell yooou HAha HAha HAha HAaAh!**" Anguish mocked

(Spidey Internal Monologue) _" Man, here we go again. A crazy symbiote wants to kill me and innocent civilians are caught in the crossfire. And if what it says is true, then it is some sorta super strong, resilient, electrical, vampire with the added bonus of a symbiote giving it __MY__ powers, which – wait! Symbiote! __THAT'S__IT!__! A symbiote, he'll have the same weaknesses as Venom, sound vibrations and fire hahahaha"_

Pete kept dodging Anguish as best he could without his Spider-Sense to aid him because the symbiote doesn't trigger it. While he did so, he tried to figure out the best place to take the fight and which method of defeating Anguish would be. Suddenly Pete noticed film crews and people with their damn iPhones and quickly made a web-mask to shield his face. Anguish removed the webbing from his eyes and noticed Spidey was busy making a web-mask, he took the opportunity to throw electricity at Spidey. Spidey barely managed to escape the blast, seriously regretting not bringing his Iron-Spidey suit – which was insulated and fireproof. Iron-Man arrived on scene

"IRON-MAN! Thank God your here!" Spidey said with relief, landing on the side of a nearby building

"_**Thanks should go to MJ. She made the call" **_replied Iron-Man. _God I love that woman_ thought Spidey _**"So THIS is the S-U then" **_Iron-Man assumed, pointing to Anguish

"S-U?"

"_**Long story. It was created by SHIELD and is referred to as Super-Unknown" **_Iron-Man explained

"Aaa-ctually, it refers to itself as Anguish" Spidey corrected, looking at Anguish

"_**What? It talks?!"**_ questioned Iron-Man in shock because the last Unknown only growled. And as if to confirm what Spidey had said

"**GET OooUT OF HEeeRE IRON-MAaaN!" **bellowed Anguish "**THISss ISss ****NOT**** YOUR FIiiGHT!**"

"_**Sorry, but Spider-Man is an Avenger now – that makes this my fight!" **_

"**GAAAAH! ssSOoo BEee IIIT!**"

Iron-Man blasted Anguish with his ion re-pulser palm blasters – with little effect. Spidey began to rescue injured civilians from the diner and clear the gathering crowd back. Spidey (once satisfied) turned his attention back to Anguish

"Pleeease tell me the rest of The Avengers are coming – right?" Spidey whined

"_**They'll be here," **_Iron-Man confirmed _**"and so will SHIELD"**_

"SHIELD! Oh great" Pete said sarcastically

"**Yooou'll be deeead before they ariiive heh heh heh**" Anguish threatened

"Really? Seems to me that this will end the way it AAAALWAYS ends" Spidey mocked

"**WHAaaT?!**" Anguish responded confused. Spidey worked his way up to and latched onto Iron-Man

"I'll hold him off while you get something explosive" Spidey whispered in suggestion, Iron-Man understood, Spidey knows all about dealing with symbiotes and excepted his judgement and left to get something explosive. Spidey landed down on the street with fists clenched

"**AaaaHHhh gOOood, you convinced him to leEeave**" Anguish said in delight

"For now" Spidey retorted. Anguish web-shot at Spidey, who dodged it and went in for a strike but – Anguish caught him in the chest with a punch and sent Spidey flying into a nearby building

"**HAaa HAaa HAaa HAaaH! WEee will dOoo what our brothersss couldn't – WEee will ****KIiiLL****ssSPIDEeeR-MAaaN****!**" Anguish claimed victoriously

"GET UP SPIDEY!" a citizen shouted

"C'MON MAN!" a second citizen shouted

"SHOW DAT BITCH IT AIN'T NUTHIN'!" a third citizen shouted

"YOU SUCK SPIDEY!" a fourth citizen yelled

"HEY! SHUT YA DAMN MOUTH JACK-OFF!" a fifth citizen replied

"YEAH! MAKE ME!" challenged the forth citizen, a fight between the forth and fifth citizen broke-out

"DON'T LISTEN TO 'IM SPIDEY! SHOW THAT MONSTER WHO IT'S MESSIN' WITH!" a sixth citizen shouted encouragingly

Spidey could barely breathe. Anguish WAS as strong as Hulk, Spidey could hear the cries of encouragement from the gathered crowd re-energizing him (Spidey Internal Monologue) _"Gotta get up. C'mon Spidey. You can do it. You're an Avenger now – they're counting on you. MJ's counting on you. Aunt May's counting on you. The Avengers are counting on you. New York is counting on you. They believe in you. Gotta reward their belief and stay alive long enough for Iron-Man's return... I sure hope he comes quick"_

Spidey removes himself from the building and drops to the street below to cheers from the crowd

"heh... You know, Paste Pot Pete hits harder than you!" Spidey mocks

"**GRRrrrRRH! ****TRYyy****THISss****!**" Anguish hissed whilst shooting some webbing at Spidey. Spidey dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged the webbing, then realized that Anguish had wanted him to do that – as it had created a giant web between buildings. Anguish smiled that big creepy sinister smile Venom does and yanked hard on the web-lines. The buildings crumbled and Spidey leapt into action webbing frantically in an effort to save the crowd. _Close_ he thought _way too close_

"WAY TO GO SPIDEY!" a citizen cheered

"YEEEEAAAH!" a group of citizens cheered

"WICKED COOL!" a citizen shouted devoid of ANY emotion

_Wicked cool? _Thought Spidey _Who the hell talks like that?_ He felt himself being tied up, suddenly he was yanked towards Anguish, it kicked him sending him backwards, Anguish pulled him in again and kicked him, sadistically toying with him like a human yo-yo. After several of these he stopped, Spidey was a little out of it

"**HAha HAha HAha c'mon ParkEeer – I thought yOoou'd put up a bettEeer fight than thisss**" Anguish taunted before unleashing a volley of electric through his webbing - shocking Spidey. Just then, Iron-Man reappeared with a fuel tank

"**AaaRRrrH – YoooU AGAIiiN**" Anguish complained

"_**Yes. ****ME**** again" **_stated Iron-Man

"heh heh... you're... you're in for it now... heh heh" Spidey murmured. Anguish let Spidey go and readied himself for Iron-Man's attack. Iron-Man wasn't exactly sure of Spidey's plan, how were they supposed to capture the symbiote once it was removed from it's host

"_**SPIDEY! WHAT'S THE PLAN!"**_Iron-Man shouted, Spidey was still a little dazed from the beating and electrocution he had sustained

"... huhmm just... just set him on... fire..." he managed to respond. Jet engines roared above them, it was the Quinjet

"**AaaRRrrHHhh! MOooRE OF YOooU?**" Anguish Quinjet set-down on a nearby rooftop. Deadpool bounded out with vigour, followed by the rest of The Avengers . He spotted Spidey laying on the ground, clothes torn, burnt and bloodied and covered in webbing

"SPIDEY! YO DUDE! YOU OKAY?!" Deadpool shouted. He got no reply "SPIDEY? SPIDEY?!" Deadpool leapt down from the building and landed hard on the street below, collapsing as his legs broke, a few seconds later his legs were healed and he ran over to Spidey. Meanwhile The Avengers looked on from the nearby rooftop

"Iron-Man what are you doing?" Captain America asked

"This was Spidey's idea. He -" Iron-Man was struck by a piece of debris thrown by Anguish, the fuel tank fell to the ground coating the surrounding area in gasoline

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!" yelled Captain America. He, Cage and Spider-Woman leapt into action. Deadpool shakes Spidey who comes round

"huurh... errh... Deadpool?" Spidey said rubbing his head

"SPIDEY! Dude, ya had me worried. I have a present for you" Deadpool said excitedly, he shows Spidey the Iron-Spidey suit "TA DA-A!"

"Thanks Deadpool" Spidey said sitting up and taking the suit

"No worries dude" Deadpool said standing up, he pulled out his katana twirling them and proceeded to charge toward Anguish. Spidey gingerly rose to his feet and looked for a secluded place to dress but, with the crowd of police, civilians and news-teams the only place was atop a building so Spidey made his way to the building with the Quinjet on it. Captain America was calling shots as The Avengers attacked Anguish with little effect. Deadpool leapt into the air thrusting his arms out in front to strike at Anguish with his katana. Anguish punched Deadpool hard in the chest crushing his ribs and sending him flying into a nearby police car, shattering his spine. Deadpool lay sunken on the roof of the police car, his head flopped back to face the crowd

"Don't adjust your T.V sets folks... the ass kickin' will resume in 'just' a sec" the citizens gazed in slight revulsion at Deadpool as his body twitched and convulsed whilst repairing itself. Deadpool pried himself free from the wrecked police car and cracked his neck and pulled a few stretches. Once satisfied he turned to the crowd

"Now citizens do not be alarmed – ol' Deadpool's got that thing 'right' where he wants it" Deadpool saw people pointing their iPhones at him and began posing. After a few moments

"Okay, I'd better go and save my team-mates asses" Deadpool spun round, his eyes bulged as a massive piece of building was flying towards him, it smashed into his face and upper torso splintering into little pieces which flew into the crowd. Deadpool was bent over backwards, that is to say, his head was resting by his ankles and his lower back was gently resting against his ass – his spine broken. The crowd recoiled in horror at the sight before them, then started taking pictures

"... this is soooo going on that damn YouTube... aww man... I can see it now. Deadpool bends over backwards for his enemies..." Deadpool mumbles to himself. His spine slowly rises as each vertebrae pops and clicks into place and the muscles and nerves heal. Once he was finished healing Deadpool pulled out his guns and aimed them at the crowd "If I find these images or videos posted on that interweb thing I swear, I'll find you and I WILL kill you!" The crowd froze in fear. A few awkward moments passed then, a loud roar broke the crowd out of their fear and they started moving their phones toward the sky, Deadpool followed their gaze to see an armada of S.H.I.E.L.D heli-carriers and other vehicles. Deadpool could see something come from one of the S.H.I.E.L.D heli-carriers, it was heading straight for Anguish. As Deadpool watched he heard the unmistakable growl of "LOGAN!" he shouted in joy, Wolverine - garbed in an all black with yellow trimming version of his masked yellow and blue costume – was falling, claws out in front, towards Anguish with an evil smile on his face

"**AAaaRRrrGGggHHh! ssSHIELD! WEee HAAaaTE ssSHIELD!**" Anguish declared in anger. Wolverine landed on Anguish with his claws impaled into it's neck

"Let's see ya fight without a head" Wolverine said trying to pull out his claws and decapitate it. Anguish smiled as it let out a blast of electricity, whilst using it's symbiotic skin to hold Wolverine in place. Anguish then punched Wolverine, sending him flying. S.H.I.E.L.D units gather in position, Black Widow enters the battle field and approaches Captain America

"Captaen Amerika, SHIELD needs you ta distrakt tha Unknown whilst we get tha sonik kannons ready" ordered Black Widow, Captain America nodded

"Cage, get in close, Spider-Woman, cover Cage, Iron-Man cover me. AVENGERS ATTACK!" Spidey, after getting suited and taking a breather, rejoined the fight as too did Deadpool. Deadpool picked up his katana and met with Spidey

"Yo Spidey, don't worry. SHIELD have sonic cannons, apparently it is weakened by them" Deadpool revealed

"Yeah, the symbiote is weakened by loud vibrations" Spidey clarified. Anguish was getting frustrated at continually swatting the heroes away like flies and decided to cocooned himself in a ball of electricity

"EVERYONE! GET BACK!" shouts Spidey, noticing that Anguish wasn't the brightest spark and was about to ignite the gasoline that covered the area. Everyone gets clear of the gasoline. Anguish mistakes this as them scared to attack and started to laugh menacingly. He takes a step forward and sets the fuel alight. The flames burst into life and surrounded Anguish, it howled in pain. After years of being imprisoned in a sonic chamber, it had learnt to control the pain. It gathered it's strength, using it's hatred of Spider-Man and S.H.I.E.L.D, to force itself towards the flames

"GET THOZE SONIK KANNONS ON!" ordered Black Widow. SHIELD agents quickly positioned and turned on the sonic cannons. The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D agents alike watched in amazement as Anguish emerged through the fire and collapsed. But it's escape was in vain as it was subjected to a bombardment of sound. Anguish had evaded the fire only to be pinned down by sonic cannons that made every nerve seize up in horrendous pain, far worse than it's imprisonment at S.H.I.E.L.D. It was trapped. A wall of fire behind it and a wall of sound in front. The symbiote continued it's harrowing cries as it endured the pain. The sound was unpleasant, sending shivers down everyone's spines

"GET THE KONTAENMENT UNIT READY!" Black Widow commanded, S.H.I.E.L.D agents brought out a glass cube, Anguish, upon seeing it recognized it immediately, it was a modified version of his old prison, he forced his head to look slightly over his shoulder

"**P-P-PAaaRKEeeR! HEeeLP USss! JOIN WITH USss AGAaaINSssT ****ssSHIELD AND WEee PROMISssE ****NOT**** TO KIiiLL YOooU**" Anguish proposed

"Uh – excUUUSE ME? After ruining my day with MJ AND trying to kill me, you expect me to say what? - Yeah! Sure. Okay Anguish, ol' buddy, ol' pal" Spidey questioned facetiously

"Hold on Spidey, I've got this" Deadpool said putting an arm across Spidey's chest "*ahem* YO! Venom Jr! Haven't ya heard? - Me and Spidey are already a team"

"oh god" Spidey facepalms _(for some reason he does this a lot in my story)_

"WE are The MOTOR MOUTHS!" Deadpool declared emphatically

"**WEee can't ssStand the pAAaain!**" Anguish roared, the symbiote was detaching itself from it's host in an effort to escape "**PLEeeASssE PAaaRKEeeR! HELP Usss!**" it begged

"GET THA SYMBIOTE INTO THA KONTAENMENT UNIT! NOW!" Black Widow bellowed. Obediently the S.H.I.E.L.D agents did as she commanded. The Avengers watched, taking this time to catch a breather. The S.H.I.E.L.D units lowered the unit on top of the now separated symbiote trapping it in a cube of continuously, unrelentingly pulsating sound. Thankfully, it was also soundproof and the unpleasant screams of pain from the symbiote had been silenced.  
>The S.H.I.E.L.D agents carefully loaded the imprisoned symbiote into a S.H.I.E.L.D Heli-carrier. Once S.H.I.E.L.D contained the symbiote they turned off the sonic canons and put out the fire. But, they still had the problem of the S-U to contend with.<br>Spidey, in earnest, thought the battle was over – not knowing the symbiote host was mad with rage at S.H.I.E.L.D

"Okay – if it's okay with you guys imma go and try to rectify this with MJ" Spidey said

"The battle is not over yet, son" Captain America informed forebodingly

"What?" the S-U rose to it's feet, without the symbiote it looked like a bigger, yellow Hulk with long blue hair. Shaking off the grogginess – it then spotted S.H.I.E.L.D. Upon seeing them it roared and charged the sonic cannons and began tearing them apart

"SHIELD HURT Anguish. Anguish HURT SHIELD!" it roared in anger. Wolverine tried to intercept, stabbing it repeatedly with his claws.

"PROTEKT HELI-KARRIER 004 AND GET THA SYMBIOTE OUT OV HERE!" Black Widow commanded slightly panicked that Anguish might release the symbiote again. Anguish grabbed Wolverine and slammed him into the ground and stomped on him, keeping his foot there so Wolverine couldn't escape

"Uh – what the-? Someone wanna fill me in here?" Spidey said confused

"SHIELD created that thing from DNA of heroes and villains, Hulk, Wolverine, Electro and Rogue. It hates SHIELD and wants to destroy them. SHIELD want our help to stop it" Deadpool said quickly

"Great – how are WE supposed to stop it when it can hit as hard as Hulk, repair any damage dealt to it and steal our powers rendering us useless?" Spidey questioned with sarcasm. No-one answered. "ROGUE!" Spidey blurted out "IRON-MAN! You have to get to X-Mansion and get Rogue – she can steal this 'things' power and then SHIELD can contain it" Spidey suggested

"Good idea, son" praised Captain America, he turned to Iron-Man "We will hold it off until you get back Tony" Iron-Man nodded and set-off

"Right. So all we have to do is keep it busy without being touched by this thing. No problem. You DID see what it just did to Wolverine right? I mean he just made Wolverine look like a chump!" Spidey remarked satirically. Anguish was destroying the S.H.I.E.L.D units without difficulty. Wolverine managed to wiggle free and rolled onto all fours to catch his breath. Deadpool decided to step up to Anguish

"YO! Mr. ANGRY!" Anguish looked round at Deadpool and sneered "Yeah I'm talking to you. Sure, taking out SHIELD is no problem for ya but what about taking on me and Logan - the Unkillables" Deadpool challenged

"Whut?" Wolverine spluttered, Anguish returned to destroying S.H.I.E.L.D

"You don't like that name?" Deadpool questioned. He began to tap his chin with his left index finger "Hmmmm... Okay, how about... Mad 'n' Madder? No?... oo oo, I know. I've got it... The Crazy Psycho Killers?"

"Shut up Wilson, ya nut" Wolverine scorned rising to his feet

"Aww come on Logan. We team-up and there is no-one stronger than us" Deadpool proclaimed. Anguish suddenly froze, it turned it's head sharply and glared at Deadpool

"I AM ANGUISH! ANGUISH STRONGEST THERE IS!" Anguish roared with conviction

"AVENGERS! STAND READY!" Captain America ordered. The Avengers prepared themselves, Deadpool casually pulls out one of his guns and aims it, Yakuza style, at Anguish. Anguish roars and charges towards Deadpool who, pats his mouth looks away and shoots it with a paralysing shot. Anguish starts to spasm

"Who's strongest NOW?! Heh heh" Deadpool says smugly. A shadow looms above him, he looks up "aww crap!" Anguish's momentum had caused it to carry on moving forward whilst falling, it lands on Deadpool crushing every bone in his body, everyone looks on shocked "... a little help... please..." came a murmur from under Anguish

"BWAAAHAHAHAHA!" Wolverine laughed hard "Oh Wilson yar an idiot hahahaha!"

"Not helpful Logan" Captain America scolded

"KONTAENMENT CREWS! QUICKLY!" Black Widow ordered, S.H.I.E.L.D containment agents began to get the containment gear ready

"Steve, ya can't let 'em take dis thang" Cage pleaded, Captain America nodded and turned to Spider-Woman

"Jess. What do you think? Can we trust SHIELD?" he asked

"... ummm..." Spider-Woman said biting her bottom lip and rubbing her left arm in discomfort

"Jess?!" Captain America reaffirmed

"... no" she finally mumbled, but, Anguish rose to it's feet madder and stronger than before. Black Widow cursed in Russian and the S.H.I.E.L.D containment crew backed off. Anguish looked down at Deadpool

"RAAAAAAARHH! YOU HURT ANGUISH! ANGUISH HURT YOU!" Anguish proceeded to continually and unmercifully pummel Deadpool into oblivion. Punch after punch after punch rained down on him with no let up. The Avengers gazed in horror. Deadpool thought this was it. His healing factor would be overworked and unable to heal him continuously

"What do we do Cap?" Spidey asked worried

"Yeah, 'cause so far, I ain't been able ta do a damn bit a damage ta it!" stated Cage perturbed

"We just need to distract it. Keep it busy" Captain America said

"Hey girl scouts! Are ya gonna stand around talking or are ya gonna 'actually' fight this thing" Wolverine challenged before charging at Anguish

"WOLVERINE! GET IN CLOSE AND ATTACK IT!" ordered Captain America "Cage, you help Wolverine. Jess, you're with me. Spidey, you're the air support. Get high" They set off on their given tasks. Captain America threw his shield striking Anguish in the head breaking off his attack on Deadpool, as it recovered Cage smacked it hard in the left leg causing it to drop to one knee Wolverine slashed at it unrelentingly, Spider-Woman was using her venom blasts to poke at Anguish from a distance and Spidey was on the side of a building firing web-balls. Anguish was a little overwhelmed and in frustration he grabbed Luke Cage and began syphoning his power - in turn, gaining unbreakable skin

"Shit! This bastard has Cage's powers mah claws can't do shit!" Wolverine moaned. Anguish threw Cage away like a piece of trash

"CAAAAGE!" Captain America shouts in concern. Everyone's hearts sink as Cage didn't move or respond

"This bastard is startin' ta reeeeally piss me off!" exclaimed Wolverine. Spidey swings down to check on Cage (Spidey Internal Monologue) _"NO! This can't be happening! Not again! He can't die! I took one day off... I could NEVER forgive myself if he dies"  
><em>Spidey lands next to Cage and puts two fingers to Cage's neck, checking for a pulse

"HE'S ALIVE!" Spidey shouts, much to everyone's relief. Even so Cage becomes the first Avenger to fall in this fight. Anguish fires off electricity in all directions, Spider-Woman is struck and so too is one of the S.H.I.E.L.D Heli-carriers. Spider-Woman collapses

"JEEESS!" Captain America shouts as he goes to help her but, Anguish intercepts him, striking hard and fast. Captain America uses his shield to shield himself from it's blows. Suddenly one of the S.H.I.E.L.D Heli-carriers explodes in a ball of flame killing several S.H.I.E.L.D agents and injuring dozens, Natasha found herself pinned under some debris from the explosion

"HELP ME!... PLEESE!" Black Widow yelled, The Avengers ignored her, if she could yell she was fine. Some S.H.I.E.L.D agents tried to help Black Widow unsuccessfully. Wolverine helps Captain America and Spidey goes to check on Deadpool

"Deadpool? Are you okay?" Spidey asks

"... And where were YOU five minutes ago?" Deadpool snapped

"Oh I'm sorry, I was too busy trying to STAY ALIVE!" Spidey answered with a hint of sarcasm

"Heh, I'm just messin' with ya heh heh" Deadpool joked, he leapt to his feet and stretched

"Must be great having a healing factor" remarked Spidey

"Yeah – it's kinda cool. But I don't get to cling to walls or lift people twice my size and weight or swing through the city in a cool red and blue costume... or date smokin' hot women" Deadpool countered

"Heh, thanks. Weeee probably should go help Cap and Logan" Spidey said pointing to the fight, Deadpool looked over his shoulder and replied

"Right"

Captain America is holding out against Anguish with the help of Wolverine, but, Wolverine is knocked back. Spider-Woman, badly burnt and groggy, begins to stir

"JESS! Get out of here!" shouts Captain America, sensing that she is unable to help anymore and not wanting her to suffer Cage's fate. Spider-Woman gets to her feet, Anguish notices her and grabs Spider-Woman, syphoning her powers

"NOOOOOOO!" screams Captain America as Spidey and Deadpool arrive. Anguish sees Deadpool, his eyes fill with rage, he drops Spider-Woman before fully syphoning her powers. Still, she is powerless all the same. Captain America manages to catch her before she hits the ground

"RAAAAAAAARHH!" roared Anguish as he focused his attention on Deadpool, Captain America was thankful for the reprieve

"I know a man who could help you with you're anger iss- "Anguish kicked Deadpool, who was sent tumbling head over heels into a lamppost. That left Spidey and Wolverine to distract Anguish while Spider-Woman made her way to a safer place with assistance from Captain America. Captain America supported Spider-Woman who, put her arm around his neck and walked gingerly towards a nearby alleyway

"I'm sorry Cap' I - " she mumbled

"Don't apologise Jess" replied Captain America

"No, I need to" she reaffirmed "I lied. I knew about that thing. But, I – I couldn't say anything in front of Natasha. I wasn't supposed to know but, I found out by accident" she revealed

"None of that matters right now" Captain America said reassuringly

"If I had told you. This could have been prevented and Cage wouldn't of... "

"Stop that!" Captain America snapped, letting Spider-Woman lean against a wall and slump to the floor "You will go crazy thinking like that" he put a hand on her shoulder to assure her "Take it from me, being a leader – responsible for the safety of my team – I've questioned myself, whether I am right in leading this team, whether my orders condemned those that died, does my limited understanding of this century impede my decisions excetera – it never helps. So Jess, please. Do not blame yourself. SHIELD are responsible for this! Besides, if you had told us, that would have made things difficult for you at SHIELD" Captain America stood and started heading back to the fight, Spider-Woman grabs his wrist

"That 'thing' – you have to consider killing it!" Spider-Woman pleaded

"What?!" Captain America said startled

"I know that's not what we do but, that 'thing' isn't human, it was grown in a Lab – it wasn't an accident, it's a mutated clone of The Hulk – they used accelerated growth serum, it hasn't had time to learn to use it's powers, it hasn't had a life, a mother or a father.. love. It has been under constant imprisonment and some of the tests - my God, they're sickening. I too would have gone mad if I had to endure what that 'thing' was subjected to" reveals Spider-Woman

"So it wasn't human?" Captain America asks in confirmation

"No" Spider-Woman replies solemnly. Captain America reflects on what Spider-Woman had just disclosed "If you kill it, it would put an end to this 'hero breeding' program. You would be doing that 'thing' a favour" Spider-Woman added. Captain America nodded

"I understand Jess. Don't worry. I won't let SHIELD know I know what you've said. You have my word" he said assuredly

"Thanks" Spider-Woman said before falling silent as she reflected on events, Captain America heads off to fight. And so Spider-Woman becomes the second Avenger to fall.

Meanwhile. Iron-Man arrives at X-Mansion. As he approaches and lands in the grounds he is met by Cyclops and Storm

"_**Hi there! We have a situation and Rogue would be a great help" **_Iron-Man stated

"Yes, we have seen it on the news. We were considering helping you, but, SHIELD and us don't exactly see eye to eye" Cyclops informed

"_**Preaching to the choir. Is Rogue available?" **_Iron-Man asked

"Yes. Storm will take you to her" Cyclops said motioning to the mansion

"Come with me" Storm said. Storm led Iron-Man into the X-Mansion and up the entrance hall's stairs, down the corridor to Rogue's room. Storm knocked on the door

"Come in" came the reply. Storm and Iron-Man entered, Rogue was sitting on her bed watching some sort of woman's show

"Uh – hi Iron-Man" Rogue said a little shocked

"_**Rogue" **_he nodded in response

"Rogue. The Avengers need your help" Storm said

"Mah help?" Rogue answered bemused

"_**Yeah, we need you to use your power sapping ability" **_Iron-Man said

"Blunt, aren't ya sugar" Rogue smirked

"_**Sorry. No time for niceties" **_Iron-Man said

"Okay, I'll help ya" Rogue said with a smile, jumping up from her bed. Rogue and Iron-Man exit the X-Mansion and fly towards the fight.

As Captain America rejoins the fight he is unsure of how to help, Cage and Spider-Woman are down. Anguish now has unbreakable skin and the only hope – Rogue - had not arrived yet. Deadpool's mangled body slowly started uncoiling and repairing itself. Deadpool addresses you the reader

"Ya know. I think the author of this story doesn't like me much. My poor healing factor has been in overdrive in this chapter. Forget Spidey getting a break and having a hard life. When am 'I' gonna get a break and stop being a useless punching bag for Anguish huh? Okay - rant over" Deadpool once again stretched and prepared to get back into the fight. He charged at Anguish who was wrestling with Spidey's webbing, he banged his forearms together and two blades shot out, he leapt up and shoved his blades deep into the eyes of Anguish, who, squealed in pain

"Yeah ha ha SUCK ON THAT BITCH!" Deadpool taunted victoriously "Me Deadpool. You hurt Deadpool. Deadpool hurt YOU! Ha ha ha haah" However, Anguish became even angrier and it's yellowish skin started turning orange, it's blue hair turning purple and it's muscles grew larger

"Great Wilson. Bravo" Wolverine slow clapped patronizingly "Ya managed ta piss it off even more" Anguish let off a massive wave of electric sending everyone back. As The Avengers recovered, Anguish seemed to be even more berserk than before. Spidey quickly made his way to Captain America

"Cap. What do we do here?" Spidey asked panicked

"Not sure, son? I've never encountered something that is invulnerable to every attack we throw at it" Captain America replied, before he could say another word Anguish wildly swung fists all over the place, Spidey, thanks to his 'Spider-Sense', was able to dodge the blows. Wolverine and Deadpool healed but Cap wasn't so lucky, he lost his grip on his shield and was struck hard into the ground. Winded Captain America didn't have time to catch his breath before being punted into a nearby building

"CAAAAAAP!" yelled Spidey, Captain America didn't respond. Anguish pulled Captain America from the rubble and began syphoning his power. Anguish was now stronger and faster than before. Spidey tried to intervene by web-swing kicking at it's hands. It was too late, Anguish dropped Captain America to turn it's attention to Spidey but, Wolverine and Deadpool distracted it with a cross-up attack while Spidey went to help Captain America

"Cap? Cap are you alright?" Spidey said crouching down and cradling Captain America in his arms whilst Anguish, Wolverine and Deadpool fought in the background

"... errh Pete?... I'm sorry son... this is it for me... " Captain America murmured

"NOOO! I can't be – it just can't. You're Captain America" Spidey proclaimed tears welling in his eyes _Where are you Iron-Man?_ He thought

"Son, listen to me... you've got to lead the team now"

"What?! I – I can't - " Spidey protested, Captain America grabbed Spidey's left arm

"You can. You have to... until Tony gets back... " Captain America releases his grip as he passes out and becomes the third Avenger to fall. Spidey leaves Captain America and stands just as his 'Spider-Sense' goes crazy. Unbelievably, Anguish is quick enough to strike Spidey before he could move. It struck Spidey hard in the back, sending him into the banged up police car Deadpool landed on earlier. Spidey was winded, he tried to get up but Anguish was too quick and pummelled him into the car with repeated punches (Spidey Internal Monologue)_ "This is it! This is where I die. The end of The Avengers. The end of everything. Damn. I knew the chances of me reaching old age with MJ were slim. And to go out like this... man... just my luck. The day I take off is the day I die. I've let The Avengers down. I've let MJ down. I've let Aunt May down. I've let Uncle Ben down. Most importantly, I've let New York down. Please I just want to see MJ's smile again. God I really do love that woman. And have one more of Aunt May's awesome meatloafs. I really love that woman too. I'm so sorry everyone ... so sorry... sorry... "_ Spidey slipped into unconsciousness and becomes the fourth Avenger to fall.

"SPIDEY?! SPIDEY?!" Deadpool shouts in vain

"WILSON! PETE'S OUTTA THIS NOW! LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST YOU, ME AND UGLY HERE!" Wolverine yells. The Crazy Psycho Killers are the only ones left to defend New York. Anguish roars and charges Wolverine and Deadpool. They dodge just in time, thankfully for them Rogue and Iron-Man arrive on scene

"IRON-MAN!" Deadpool shouts excitedly waving at him. Iron-Man and Rogue look around at the carnage. The Avengers are all but decimated, only Wolverine and Deadpool are still standing. Rogue and Iron-Man's hearts sink and they feel sick. They are distraught at what they've been greeted with

"ROGUE! YO ROGUE! GO SAP THIS THINGS POWERS ALREADY!" Deadpool yells dodging Anguish's attacks. His shouts break Iron-Man and Rogue out of their trance

"_**Uh... yeah Rogue. Wolverine, Deadpool and I will distract Anguish while you sneak in from behind and catch it's blind side. Okay?" **_Iron-Man politely inferred, Rogue nodded

"Sure thang, sugar" she said removing her gloves in preparation. Iron-Man heads down into the foray firing his ion re-pulser palm blasts. Wolverine and Deadpool distract Anguish with futile strikes while Rogue sneaks behind. As Iron-Man flies by, he is struck hard by Anguish, surprised by it's increased speed, and slammed into a building – his suit starts to malfunction

"_**Oh no! Please don't do this now!..." **_Iron-Man tries re-routing power, when that doesn't work he tries to get his flight systems engaged, doesn't work _"__**Crap!" **_so he starts pressing buttons in frustration before giving up_** "Well, could be worse. At least I'm not stuck in this suit like my first fight with The Hulk, 'cause that was embarrassing" **_Iron-Man reminiscently remarks to 'apparently' himself. And so Iron-Man becomes the fifth Avenger to fall.  
>Rogue manages to catch Anguish by surprise and starts to syphon it's power<p>

"AAAARRRRRGHHHH! ANGUISH HURTING" Anguish yells shaking ferociously trying to remove Rogue

"Ah'm sorry sugar, it's for ya own good" Rogue said. Anguish fell to it's knees whilst trying to shake Rogue off it. It's skin returning to it's yellowish colour and it's hair returning to blue. In a last ditch attempt Anguish tried encasing itself in electric but, Rogue had syphoned to much of it's energy. Rogue could feel the incredible power that resided within Anguish. It was too powerful for her. She managed to syphon the majority of Anguish's power before succumbing to the influx of power and passes out, dropping to the street below

"ROOOOGUE!" Wolverine shouted _Damn it! _he thought. Wolverine and Deadpool are left to take on, the now powerless, Anguish. Though it was still as strong as a muscle bound 9ft monster would be. Wolverine realised that the reason Rogue collapsed was because she had stolen too much of it's power for her to handle and he grinned ear-to-ear as it meant, Anguish was powerless now. Black Widow spotted Wolverine grinning sinisterly and knew what he was thinking

"Oh ah'm gonna enjoy ripping yar guts out ya freak!" Wolverine remarked

"WOLVAREENE! DO NOHT ENGAGE!" yells Black Widow "WE NEED IT ALIVE, YES" she added. Wolverine ignored her and charged Anguish who was busy trying to shake off the grogginess

"WOLVAREENE NOOOO!" Black Widow yelled in futility. Anguish howled in pain as Wolverine's claws pierced it's flesh

"Try healin' from that!" Wolverine sadistically challenged. Anguish smacked Wolverine hard in the face, Wolverine spat blood from his mouth, looked up at Anguish and smirked

"Sorry bub. Ain't gonna work" he stated, suddenly Anguish started to convulse

"Oh yeah!" Deadpool exclaimed joyously twirling his gun

"Whut the hell Wilson?" Wolverine questions. Anguish spasms and flails about before collapsing on it's back "Why tha hell ya do that? I was just startin' ta have fun" Wolverine moaned

"Errh, because this things powers will return soon" Deadpool said

"Ah woulda killed it by then" Wolverine stated confidently "Besides, when did ya get so... sensible?" he asked

"I'm an Avenger now. With great power comes great responsibility" Deadpool recited, Wolverine mimed throwing up

"Okay. So? What are we supposed to do now?" Deadpool asks Wolverine

"You have to kill it" Captain America said startling both Wolverine and Deadpool, he slowly rose to his feet, clutching his ribs, having regained consciousness

"NOOOO!" Black Widow yelled

"It's the only way Deadpool. SHIELD cannot be trusted and the safety of New York is our priority" Captain America informed. Black Widow, sensing she wouldn't on a moral ground persuade Deadpool not to kill it, tried

"Do noht kill it under order of SHIELD!" Deadpool struggles with the decision before answering

"Sorry lady. But I'm an Avenger. I take my orders from Captain America. I do the right thing now. The people of New York, The Avengers and the people reading this story are counting on ME to, for once in my life, do the right thing" Deadpool states with conviction

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Black Widow begs, she looks at Wolverine "STOP 'IM!" Wolverine ignored her and went to check on Rogue. Black Widow frantically struggled to get free from the debris that was pinning her down

"SHIELD AGENTS STOP 'IM" Black Widow desperately pleaded. Reluctantly S.H.I.E.L.D agents began assembling and hesitantly approached Deadpool

"Anyone of ya try an' stop 'im, I'll rip ya ta pieces!" Wolverine threatened, that was all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents needed to stop in their tracks. Deadpool climbed on top of the fallen Anguish and stood on it's chest. He raised his arms above his head with katana pointing down. Anguish looked Deadpool in the eyes which made Deadpool freeze

"Whut ya waitin' for, Wilson? Do it already!" Wolverine roared impatiently cradling Rogue in his arms. Deadpool looked around, he smiled as The Avengers were slowly getting to their feet. Cage, Spidey, Spider-Woman and Iron-Man were okay, badly beaten and hurting but, okay. Captain America was helping and checking on the fallen Avengers. Deadpool was relieved and as he looked around they nodded in supportive agreement, he looked back at Anguish who also managed to nod*Deadpool drove his katana through Anguish's chest, piercing it's heart. Blood shot from it's mouth as it cried in pain. Anguish looked at Deadpool with appreciative eyes

"... Thank you..." it murmured, Deadpool froze in confusion. It coughed some blood, then it laid down staring at the sky. It smiled with contentment before it's eyes rolled back into it's head and it took it's last breath. Anguish was dead.

"It – it thanked me?" Deadpool said stunned as he jumped down off it's chest

"Are you happy?" Steve asked Black Widow in disgust, she scowled at him

"Are you okay Deadpool?" Spidey asked putting a hand on his shoulder for comfort

"Yeah, it's just – I don't remember anyone thanking me for killing them. Besides, it should be ME asking YOU how you are?" Deadpool retorted

"I'm okay. A few broken ribs but, I'm fine – for now"

"For now?" Deadpool inquired

"... ask me how I am AFTER I've talked with MJ ha ha ha ha... " Spidey and Deadpool laugh. Meanwhile, Captain America and Black Widow were exchanging words

"You did noht hav ta keel it" Black Widow declared visibly pissed off. Iron-Man had managed to get mobility back in his suit, though flight and weapons were still down. He joined Black Widow and Captain America

"YOU gave us no option, Natasha" Captain America stated

"_**That thing was an abomination! It wanted to die" **_Iron-Man added

"You created it! You're responsible for this! And you are damn lucky WE were able to prevent it from harming any innocents!" Captain America scolded

" _**Although, it did seem only interested in harming you! Maybe something to do with whatever experiments you had done to it? You must of treated it in such a manner that it grew hostility towards you - NOT **__**loyalty. If we didn't kill it what would of happened?" **_Iron-Man challenged

"That is SHIELD's business" Black Widow retorted reticently.  
>Captain America turned away from Black Widow and approached Deadpool who was sharing a laugh with Spidey<p>

"I'm proud of you son" he said offering his hand, Deadpool beamed with pride as he reciprocated the offered hand. Spidey gave Deadpool a thumbs up. Captain America then addressed all of The Avengers as they gathered round "I'm proud of ALL of you. Thank you ALL for your efforts here today. I have no doubt that with out you all here, things would have been VERY different. So, thank you for fighting in what seemed like a hopeless battle. Your courage is appreciated and I am extremely proud to lead, know and call such people, who were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to defend this city, friends" Captain America said appreciatively "My only regret was that that thing had to die. It didn't ask for that power. It didn't gain that power through accident. I want you all to know that SHIELD are responsible for what happen here today. They created a monster. Tainted by that symbiote. They raised it in a Lab and subjected it to horrendous experiments. What that poor thing went through is unimaginable. It was a shame that it was so broken by the things it had suffered, that it had become mad and unstable. And unfortunate it was corrupted by the symbiote. And because of the power it possessed and the danger it presented, we were forced to kill it! Please, when you think about what happened here, remember that monster had a name. It's name was Anguish – a name which summed up it's life. One of constant pain. It had no family, no friends, no life and had never experienced love. Please honour it's – his death, by remembering him as a victim of SHIELD and NOT a monster" Captain America's words were poignant, all the heroes, though they had suffered hardships, had friends and family to turn to. Some had lived a life before gaining powers. Others had grown up feared because of the power they possessed but, they all had a safe place to go. Anguish wasn't so lucky. Created by DNA Lab tests and forced to grow quickly without properly learning, who or what it was. It was neither human nor a freak occurrence of nature. It was a tragic abomination of science.  
>The gathered crowd begin to cheer and applaud. The Avengers looked around and began to wave awkwardly in appreciation<p>

"Thank you. Thank you" Deadpool said taking a bow "The day was saved thanks to The Deadly, Death-Defying, Merc-with-a-Mouth... DEADPOOL!" Deadpool declared embracing the cheers "... oh and some help from these guys" Deadpool motioned to The Avengers. Meanwhile. S.H.I.E.L.D agents had finally managed to free Black Widow from the debris and S.H.I.E.L.D decided to leave without further fuss. Captain America pulled out a remote control from his utility belt and presses a few buttons. The Quinjet burst into life and flew from the rooftop it was located on and set-down on the street below. The Avengers headed over towards the Quinjet, beaten, broken, battered and scarred - physically AND mentally. Also they were somewhat remorseful and perturbed at the events of today. While they were victorious, they didn't feel it. Anguish's death had effected them more than they thought it would

"HEY! WILSON! WHERE YA GOIN'?" Wolverine shouted, The Avengers stopped and turned to face him

"?" Deadpool looked at Wolverine who had his arms folded and was smiling menacingly

"Waddya say we finish whut we start'd huh?" Wolverine challenged

"Ha, you mean ME finish what YOU started right?" Deadpool retorted

"Whutever" Wolverine remarked. The rest of the Avengers shook their heads

"Oh, boy" Spidey commented

"_**Well, I vote for letting them resolve their differences"**_ said Iron-Man

"Agreed" Captain America sighed

"Yeah well, I guess we should leave them to it. This could go on for 'sometime' ha ha ha" Spidey joked, referencing their healing abilities. The rest of The Avengers limped aboard the Quinjet. Deadpool walked towards Wolverine pulling out his katana and twirled them as he did so

"Okay Logan. Prepare for my ASSASSIN'S BLADES OF DEATH! Followed by my FISTS OF MORALITY!" Deadpool struck a few silly martial art poses, an evil smile spread across Wolverine's lips

"Heh. Let's dance, bub" he said popping out his claws. Wolverine roared, Deadpool mock roars in response and they charge towards each other...

The End.

_*Note: Didn't know if it was made clear through the hints in the story, or whether you worked it out so, I thought I'd explain how Anguish was able to nod and speak despite being paralysed. It's simple. Deadpool took so bloody long that the paralysis had begun to wear off. Anguish wanted to die and didn't struggle to fight once mobility started returning to it._

_- Darth Hellion_

Deadpool: Epilogue

Deadpool awoke and yawned. He rose to a seated position, still a little groggy, and looked around. He found himself sitting on a sofa in an abandoned house, he recognized it as one of the places he used as a gun-for-hire. In fact, it was the last place he used before... before, a surge of adrenaline rushed through his body. He stood, frantically trying to understand what is going on. He was so sure he was an Avenger and helped in defeating Anguish. If he would be anywhere it'd be at Avengers Tower, suddenly he felt sick as a thought emerged, that maybe, just maybe it was all a dream

"A DREAM?!" he exclaimed "A FUCKIN' DREAM?!" he yelled, addressing the author Darth Hel'eon "Now. Look here Cursed Hellion, Darth Hel'eon or whatever stupid name you're calling yourself!"

"Look who's talking" Darth Hel'eon retorts

"I and my LEGION of fans and the people who have followed this story, did NOT go through all that for THIS ending. We deserve a better ending than a fuckin' DREAM!" Deadpool protested

"Erh, well Mr. Wilson ... I wasn't sure how else to end it, you know, what with continuity and all" Darth Hel'eon tried to explain

"Mr. Wilson?! No-one calls me that! Besides, a dream ending is a cop-out man. Sure it was good and surprising when it was first used but, jeez... seriously? FUCK continuity! Sometimes people don't care about that! They just wanna read a story featuring ME!" Deadpool countered

"Well, this is MY story and I know not everyone will like the ending – just like Mass Effect 3 - it was all about enjoying the journey" Darth Hel'eon justified

"Bullshit!" Deadpool spat

"Besides, you and I both know that this isn't real, so does it really matter?" Darth Hel'eon proposed.

Deadpool gives the author Darth Hel'eon the silent treatment and walks around the room pouting, murmuring expletives and threats of murder when, something catches the corner of his eye. It was his reflection in the window. He stared at it – something wasn't right, he looked away from the reflection and at himself. He noticed that his suit was a dark crimson red, it had gold detail and black trimming, he looked back at the reflection, his eye lenses were glowing neon blue – excited he formed an X with his arms. He took a breath and banged his forearms together. Two blades shot out of his wrists. He looked them over before slashing his arms about, prancing round the room with flips and cartwheels before finishing in a dynamic pose.  
>A smile crept across Deadpool's face.<p>

The End.

_Thank you to everyone and anyone who has; read, reviewed, followed and added as favourite, this story, I appreciate it. This has taken forever to finish (and lessons have been learnt; make chapters shorter ha ha ha ha) but, is finally complete - for now.  
><em>_The epilogue is the original ending I had, but – I thought it would be better as an epilogue that you could disregard if you prefer the 'Hollywood' ending ha ha ha ha._

_Anyway. Thank you._

_From an extremely grateful_

_- Darth Hel'eon_


End file.
